I am in such terrible pain today.
My dad passed away from suicide two years ago. I think I was in shock the first two years. I has hit me so hard the last few weeks, I actually think I am going insane from grief. I am crying every day, lying in bed crying for hours. I think adding to the circumstances is that his family (his brother, sister) were cruel to me at the time of death.
I was a child from his first wife, and my father's family have often treated me like I was not part of the family/ that I don't exist.
They didn't tell me when my dad went missing, I found out frok my dad's cousin putting a missing poster on facebook. They were cruel to me after my dad died. I didn't go to my dad's funeral, because I didn't want ny uncle shouting at me.
I had to go over and pick up some of my dad's stuff, and my uncle told me that I was ugly and laughed at me. I don't know why they are so cruel, but they always have been.
It has all added up to me crying every day lately, and feeling so weak and ill