My beautiful brother has just died

[namechangedyetagain]

He was 42. Had a brain tumour diagnosed about 4 weeks ago. I saw him yesterday

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel numb. I can't cry but I love him so much and I don't know what to do

I'm sorry for your loss. Your pain is such an open wound. Be gentle with yourself, don't expect more than you feel you can do.

I am so very sorry for your loss 💕 my brother dying almost broke me and that was after a long and horrible struggle where to be honest we were praying for the end to take his pain away. The suddenness of your loss must make it so much harder 💕

It’s ok for your kids to see you cry like that. It’s normal to be upset and ok for them to understand that losing someone is heartbreaking.

There's never a good time is there. This will break me. I can't explain. No one seems to understand. I'm not his mum. Or his wife. But I knew him from just a few hours old (I ran away screaming and hid under the bed, I think I was hoping for a toy). All that history.
I can't go out. I can't see anyone. I'm still in my jamas. I miss him already. How can that be

namechangedyetagain you are in shock and processing the enormity of the death of your DB.
It's okay to cry in front of your children, they know that you are very upset.
Be kind to yourself, you will get through this. Life will never be the same but it will be all the richer for having had your DB in your life.

To you, Nuggett and all of us who have lost loved ones recently

I've been sat with my mum and his godmother. Cannot process this at all.

In time you will be able to remember him with a smile. This terrible pain will pass. All you can do for now is look after those he loved - your children, your Mum, your granddad, and you. Just keep breathing and try to focus on day to day normal routines. Try to sleep, get as much exercise as you can as physical tiredness will help with sleep. Force yourself to eat if only a little but often.
You will always miss him, but in time you will remember him with joy and not this tearing grief. I absolutely guarantee this.

Don't try and process the loss. There simply is no rationale to death except that every living thing must die at some point.

I can't see how it will ever get better

I'm scared to go to sleep cos when I wake up I'll have to do it all over again. I just can't believe it all and that I'll never see or speak to him again

Namechange just take it minute by minute for now. Support each other x

So sorry OP . It heartbreaking I know. Just look after each other, and take the day hour by hour, baby steps.

When you are ready perhaps consider counselling, your GP will be able to put you in touch with the right services. But for now, just one day at a time.

Rest when you can, emotional trauma is completely draining. Sending you a big 🤗.

Oh OP I'm so so sorry your lovely brother was taken so unfairly soon.
When you're ready (and if you'd like to) I would love to hear more about him.

Be kind to yourself, the shock can make you feel quite unwell.
My Dad died suddenly out of the blue and I remember just walking around the house shaking my head...nearly two years on I still can't quite believe he's gone. But time has taken the intense sting (for want of a better phrase) away.

We're here for you to listen to anything you want to say to us - there's always someone here morning, noon and night.

Again so sorry, take care

So sorry for your loss OP

www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services/get-help

These guys offer an ear on the phone, if that's any use to you.

OP, so sorry your loss There are no words of wisdom, life feels amazingly cruel. My brother also passed away, aged 20, 10 years ago now and the pain was intense for a long time. He was my younger brother, such a positive, good soul like your brother. I felt like a part of me had been taken away.

You'll cope for the sake of the people around you. Your children, your mum, your SIL. But be kind to yourself. It will take a long time.

He was incredibly loved. This is the most important thing in the world and makes a life worth living. He would want you to know how much he loves you in return. That will last forever.

My thoughts are with you all at this dreadfully sad time.

I lost my mum a few years ago, although I was married at the time she was everything to me. I honestly felt my heart had broken following her death - just how you must be feeling.

I suggest you try to get some sleep even if it is only a few hours - you will feel better for it, keep hydrated and eat a little if you can manage it.

It is early days for you all, you have had a huge shock, take every hour as it comes. I know you have young children, if you feel like crying do so - your mind must be pinging away at the moment with various thoughts. Be very kind to yourself, do as your body is telling you to do.

I’m so very sorry for the loss of your brother. Losing a beloved sibling is so hard on the heart. Sending prayers for strength and healing.💐

@namechangedyetagain @NuggetsPopcorn

I feel your pain, I lost my DF earlier in the year to cancer. It was all very sudden.

Sending big hugs to you both

I've just read through some more of the thread.

Now sending hugs for everyone

What can I say that's not been said . ((((Hugs))))

I lost my Uncle many years ago, to cancer . Not my brother granted, but he was a brother to my Mum and Aunt.
We, however, got to have a "last" in his case . A last Christmas in September. God knows how it was done pre Internet but we done it for him.

You will cry, it will come, give it time love.

So sorry x

Sorry for your loss namechangedyetagain
Sounds like your in shock. Your poor Mum, no parent should have to bury their child, sadly I know how this feels.
Take Care

I'm so very sorry for your loss

I'm so very sorry for you. My heart breaks for you, reading this thread.
What an incredible bond and love you shared.

He was so lucky to have you as his sister.

It wasn't enough though was it. In the end I couldn't protect him or fix him or make him better. I told him enough but I hope he KNEW how much I loved him.

I can't contemplate things without him. He was a beautiful soul.