Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

found my mum dead

420 replies

Tortington · 28/05/2007 06:32

came up to oldham and found my mum daed. there for at least a couple of weeks. house a state. i just looked through the window my son andhis GF were with us.

we ere in a crash on friday coming up - the poor GF has had her fill.

i had to give my BIL money for air frsheners. the police went in with masks.

the wholething is just horrific. as an only child its all down to me. and i can't seem to read simple documents. BH weekend isn't helping. mum had money in lots of different accounts, i can't find her funeral policy and she told me she had one. she has shares for fucks sake.

never sent my kids a birthday card. she set up 3 accounts un beknownst to me and had been putting money in. so that did mi head in, bibbin all o'er place, nothing is sinking in.

my dh has to come up and bring the kids, he's neer driven on a motorway and my car is a bit knacked.

i am relying on people to put me up and although i wouldn'rt rather be anywhere else in the world than at my cousins, she has two small children and no matter how many times they say it doesn't matter and don't worry i must be in the way. but my cous and my BIL have been good.

there is lots of fincancial stuff to sort out.

no doubt i'll be asking you.

the terrible thing when there is ( relatively) a sum of money to be had, nice people suddenly get nasty. we will see.

my in laws are being very helpful and have moved the bed outside and done horrible things to save me from facing them. but my dh is going to come up and at that point i think i will be coming back to you as a body of opinion - not emotionally, family or financially swayed.

i am living in a house with a four year old and a toddler.

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 28/05/2007 12:40

Just seen this. I haven't time to read anything but the OP, but I just have to say I am so sorry this has happened custy. You must be in such terrible shock. My condolences to you and your family.

turquoise · 28/05/2007 12:40

So sorry for your loss Custy, what a horrible shock.

I hope you get all the support you need, but you are right about a death bringing out the worst in people, just when you'd expect the opposite. Really hope that doesn't happen.

filthymindedvixen · 28/05/2007 12:42

I just don't know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss and that it had to happen like this.

Anything we can do to help and we'll do it.

Tinker · 28/05/2007 12:42

custy - I am so sorry. Have been in very similar situation in the last month. cat me if you need any practical advice - I'm 3 weeks ahead of you

Angeliz · 28/05/2007 12:44

So sorry to read this Custardo.

teafortwoandtwofortea · 28/05/2007 12:45

Custy - as per usual I have nothing constructive to type but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss but also how you discovered her. You're a stong woman and you'll find a way to deal with it, hope you DH makes it up OK.

(it's liquidclocks btw)

kittylette · 28/05/2007 12:46

xxx

PollyLogos · 28/05/2007 12:47

Very sorry to read this custy. You have been having a bad time. Hope that you get the help and support that you need.

missgriss · 28/05/2007 12:50

So sorry Custy. What a terrible shock for you.

MrsSpoon · 28/05/2007 12:52

So sorry to hear this Custardo.

Saturn74 · 28/05/2007 12:52

so sorry to hear your sad news, custy.

Rusty · 28/05/2007 12:54

So sorry to hear this.

serenity · 28/05/2007 13:07

So, so sorry custy, both that this has happened, and that you had to find her like that

My thoughts are with you and your family, really wish I could offer some practical help or advice xx

RosaLuxembourg · 28/05/2007 13:13

I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

kokeshi · 28/05/2007 13:16

I'm really sorry you're going through this, I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must be. Please take all the wonderful offers of help from MNers. You're in my prayers.

RuthChan · 28/05/2007 13:17

Hi Custy
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and in such awful circumstances.
The circumstances were quite different, but I too was the one to find my Mum when she died. It's a terribly traumatic thing to go through, but time is a wonderful healer.
You have a lot on your plate to deal with, but it sounds like you have a lot of support, not least from all us MNs. Be sure to make the most of it and lean on everyone as much as you need to, both practically and emotionally.
We're all looking forward to hearing your next positive post.

me23 · 28/05/2007 13:19

I'm sorry to hear this

MoreSpamThanGlam · 28/05/2007 13:20

Custy this is so awful, and about as bad as it gets.

Post when you can and just hold on.

Look at these posts.

We are all here for you

Hugs

eemie · 28/05/2007 13:23

Custy
very sorry for your loss

stripeybumpsmum · 28/05/2007 13:26

Very sorry you are having to experience this Custy, but I do hope you can find the emotional, practical,legal support of fellow MNetters and collected personal experience helpful at this hideous time.

I don't have personal experience to offer, but from a professional perspective, I have heard others found the Age Concern factsheets on sorting a persons estate, arranging their funeral and notifying Dept for Work and Pensions useful since they are in simple, plain English.
www.ageconcern.org.uk/AgeConcern/end_of_life_information.asp

Take care

gomez · 28/05/2007 13:27

Shit Custy take care, accept help and be kind to yourself.

If you need any help - practical or advice (legal, financial etc.) please come and ask Mumsnet, there is always someone here who will know the answer.

BikeBug · 28/05/2007 13:28

What an horrific thing to have to go through. Wishing you lots of strength to get through this. Glad your rels are helping out.

squeakybub · 28/05/2007 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Polgara2 · 28/05/2007 13:34

Very sorry to hear about this Custy.
The CAB website have a section on what to do when someone dies too. And you should get something from the registrar when you register the death. Have recently done this with my uncle. Accept as much help as you can.

winestein · 28/05/2007 13:34

I couldn't read this and not post - so sorry to hear your news Custy. You must be in a bit of shock. Take time for yourself if you can find some x