Support For Anyone Who Loses A Parent

[Mummylin]

We offer a shoulder and compassion for those that need it.

Thanks Mummylin - feeling so worried for him and DD and over Xmas too. Just found out he's trapped a nerve in his neck sleeping in the chair at the hospice and is in agony! God. But he won't leave. Will do all I can when I get there.

Because my birthday was the day after my ma died I have felt sorry for many friends who sent me a bday card, followed very quickly by sympathy card and now Christmas card. Have spent day at ma’s and have laughed and cried at so many lovely cards and memories and photos from neighbours. She was very loved on her street which I am so thankful for. She loved living there too. Although grief is kicking in hard (weekend in bed pretty much) so too are good memories and then the crying starts all over again.
Lots of hugs to all newly or some time ago or about to go through this. It really is bloody hard.

We said goodbye to dad on September 17th, very quick following them finding cancer. We were able to spend a lot of time with him and when he died he knew how much he was loved.

He died on the same day as my best friend so it's an awful day.

Have gone back to work but it is so hard, life seems to go on for everyone but I have a HUGE piece of me missing. I have to have an operation next year and just wish he would still be here
Sending all hugs and prayers.

Bereft just tonsay you are in my thoughts today.
Minkies I hope that you are now with your dh and this will be a real boost to him.
Thinking of all of you on this thread at this time. For some of you Christmas will be difficult. But you may cope better than you think you will, somehow extra strength comes from somewhere to help us.

I lost my beautiful mum this afternoon, after suffering terrible pain for three days. I am heartbroken

I am so sorry Chimpfield I am so glad you were able to spend time with her in the last few days, please take some comfort from that, although at the moment I expect you feel devastated.
It is such a sad time, but your dear mum would of been comforted that you were there.
You wonder how the world can just go on the same as before when you have just had this sad loss., I felt like screaming " don't you know my mum has died"
I hope you are surrounded by other family and friends who will help you through this.
If you need a chat or are worried about anything or, just because, one of us will be here for you. 💐

On my way to DH - his mother has just passed away peacefully. Thanks for the messages - it has helped me be calm for him.

So sorry Minkies your dh will take great comfort from you being with him and sharing his sorrow. Take care 💐

So very sorry, Chimpfield and Minkies :(

just seen Badvoc's post, thanks and the same wishes for a good Christmas to you too and of course to mummylin and supermarios and t875

hasn't the time flown by yet it just seems like yesterday we were all posting here more often, this thread was so invaluable to us all, thanks mummylin for everything on this thread

and to to all more recent posters, the raw pain does lessen over time but it never really goes, I want to send my best wishes and condolences to everyone on this thread, its such a hard time but the support you will find here is fantastic

Thanks ssd , how lovely to see a familiar name, it is quite a long time now isn't it, but at times feels like yesterday. Thank god we all had each other to us all in our darkest days.
Sadly for others , they are in the first early days, I remember those awful feelings and such terrible sadness.
Thanks for posting I hope you and your family have a great Christmas and that footi dosent sneak in, at least for a couple of days ! 🎄

For the newest posters, I hope that spending time with your families will help you over the next few days. I'm sure Christmas is the last thing you need right now. 💐

Christmas sucks ! Having to avoid tv as I just became unbearably sad watching the ads now a month after my lovely ma died. Funeral next week. This is hard. Thanks all for such good support and hugs to everyone going through this newly or more distant and still painful.

Hi mummylin and yes it does feel like yesterday some times. Today I went out to the shops I used to take mum to and I could sort of feel her with me, I was mentally talking to her going round. It's funny the things you do o still feel close isn't it. Time does heal a bit though so I hope newer posters take a bit of comfort in that. It is awful though, I remember feeling like I was actually going mad with the grief.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas too mummylin you really deserve it as you have helped so many of us here with this thread.

My mum died 2 weeks ago now. I'm struggling to be patient with my kids, be festive, the whole bloody lot. I hate all of this. Does anyone share my wish to just hide for a couple of weeks under a duvet? Ugh

Hi lovelynsorry you are struggling. I think a lot of us would love to go to bed for a few weeks. I would for sure ! You sound as though you are being amazing doing your best to be festive for your kids - they’ll understand at some level that you are sad and struggling. They’ll love you for everything you are doing I’m sure.

Lovelymonkey I totally understand and feel exactly the same. Done two Christmas films today to try to shake myself out of it and feel 100 times worse. Have yelled at DD who now hates me when really I should be helping her with her grief for her DGM. One month today since my DM died and it's just hit me like a sledgehammer this week. Finding it hard that there's no reason to be talking about her, cards have stopped and everything is 'festive'. Hibernation sounds very appealing.

Party my mandied one month ago yesterday and it has hit me hard too today. Think partly cos things have quietened down kind of waiting for Christmas which I am not interested in. (central London here) and I too saw a bit of E.T. By mistake and just started sobbing. Funeral next week (delayed for autopsy) need it over am dreading it. Hugs

Mum died three weeks ago. Have been holding it together but lost it totally just now when DH jokingly suggested I'd bought too much food for Xmas the Ocado delivery and that the fridge and cupboard are full. Sat sobbing at the kitchen table, full on ugly crying.

No idea why this tipped me over the edge. Think it's that I'm trying to make everything nice for everyone else when I I'm not really feeling it. Plus some complicated feelings re inheriting my mum's need to constantly over cater for everything.

Very down.

MrsC I totally understand. I remember my dh merrily singing along to westlife on the radio, the trouble is it was the song we had at her funeral ! I lost the plot then and a few times since. You are very vulnerable at the moment and it only takes things, which are normally minor to become a major thing when you are so unhappy. I'm not denying this is one of the most difficult times when you are newly bereaved, but I promise you will get through it. 💐

Heron. Sadly the Christmas films usually depict a happy family scene. It hurts when you are feeling so sad yourself. It is very early days for you and all sorts of things will catch you unawares and make you feel sad. It takes a while, but gradually you will have happier days again.💐
Lovely this is all so new to you and I imagine you feel nothing like celebrating Christmas. It is hard to see so many others enjoying themselves when you yourself feel so upset. It is now 7 yrs for me, but I still miss my mum so much even now. 💐

lovely heron MrsC Thinking of you right now. My Mum died in August and it's a bloody tough road to get on. Nobody can you prepare you for it. I read a quote that said "my Mother taught me everything except how to live without her" and that's so true.

So I had a bit of a melt down yesterday. I had a random bottle of Yardley Rose in my shopping delivery. It was my Mum's favourite . Grief is just coming in waves. I can go a day and be ok and then it just comes along again. Christmas is fast approaching and it's hard to be festive.

I would totally hide under a duvet until it's all over if I could. Forcing myself to keep going for DS, because Christmas has been a blessed distraction for him, but I just want it all to go away.

Had odd game discussion cos I’m going to lovely sil and Bil. We play memory games(pairs) a lot but felt I couldn’t bear to concentrate and be quiet like that. We actually went out to buy frustration today as feel that is copable with. Then remembered my frustration is down in my mums games drawer from recent christmases which we always went to hers recently cos ‘may be her last’. Cue some sobbing. Good god this is shit ! Swerving all over the place here. Hugs all.

I don't have much time for silly family drama at the best of time but it's unbearable at the minute. I just want to scream at them that I've just lost my mum, none of this other stuff matters. Ho hum, I shall keep buying my tongue. Hugs.

Biting* 🙄

To all the posters on this thread. I know for the first timers it will be sad, but somehow you will get through it.
All of us will be thinking of our loved ones we have lost, maybe one of our happiest memories will come into our minds.
Anyway, I would like to wish everyone the best Xmas they can possibly have and thanks for everyone supporting everyone else. 💐💐💐

MUM, I miss you every single day, life is not the same without you, I have kept up your tradition of making all the family mince pies which I know would please you. Love you Mum, Lin xxx