DH has died - niffler

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

Husband now terminalhttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lifelimitingg_illness/3050597-husband-now-terminal

We filled the last thread. Thank you all for every good thought you have sent my way.

Hey Nifler how has your week been? Has MIL been ok? That's a shame the house was no good, what was the second one like? Are you allowed d dog in all of them? Will you be sharing with the friend you mentioned before?

Did you watch the Royal Wedding? I did and thought her dress was lovely, I did think of you and hoped it wasn't upsetting you.

Any news on the job hunting?

My DH cut the lawn so I hope the hedgehog is ok. He says that there are 2 of them that wander about. We have a big field opposite us so maybe they are there.

How is d dog in the warm weather?

My week has been up and down, MIL has been somewhat okay with me.

The second house was lovely, we are just waiting to hear back if the landlord will allow pets and if he will what sort of deposit is needed. I'll be sharing with my friend we've been meeting regularly with the dogs to get them used to each other. We'll have our own bedrooms and living rooms though so we'll have our own space.

I didn't watch the wedding, I had a day out with a couple of friends whilst ddog was at daycare. I did see her dress though and it was lovely. It didn't upset as such it was more the look on prince Harry's face that got me.

No news on the job hunt although I'm still applying. I'm sure the hedgehog will be okay they are excellent hiders.

Ddog enjoys sunbathing but struggles a little in the heat. We've been sticking to early morning/late evening walks or walks with a lot of dew on the grass. I hope you are well.

Exciting about the second house, I hope the landlord accepts pets.

That is very sensible getting the dogs used to each other. My d dog was attacked by another dog when she was a puppy, so can be a bit funny around other dogs at first.

That is cute your d dog sunbathing, she has black ears doesn't she so you don't need sun cream? I do feel for all of them in the heat.

You will get there with the job hunt just takes time. Best of luck with the house and I hope MIL continues to behave.

I was just taking the bin out and the hedgehog is back! Poor thing probably got a fright!

Glad to hear you & ddog are doing ok Niffler.

The second house was a no go but I have a viewing at another house in 2 weeks that seems a little more promising.

My friends dog hasn't been around dogs really and is a little timid but he's really come out of his shell around ddog.

Her fur is so thick and long she doesn't really have any flesh on show so she doesn't need any suncream.

MIL went back in a mood with me because I said I don't want to go out for a meal on my wedding anniversary l want to be alone.

That hedgehog looks massive!

Thank you Horse

When is your wedding anniversary? I hope it is not too sad a day. It is a bit strange MIL wanting to take you out for a meal, but this time I think she has the best of intentions. I can understand you not wanting to go, hopefully she does eventually. Are you doing anything privately for it?

That's good you have found another house to view. Did you here back from the landlord of the one you had to check if pets were ok? Are you looking for furnished or unfurnished? I hope you find a nice one soon.

No more sightings of the hedgehog, I am not sure where it is.

How is d Dog? I hope you are both well.

Wedding anniversary is a week today. I understand her wanting to do something it's the fact that she tried to force it when I said no and then went in a mood. If anyone disagrees with her no matter how politely she'll then say they were rude or snapped at her.

Yeah he wouldn't allow pets but this one will and it's only an extra £200 deposit. We are looking at unfurnished.

Ddog is good, she's enjoying having walks with my friends dog and keeping up with a border collie is tiring her out.

I wonder how FIL manages with her, she sounds hard work. Remember it is your anniversary not hers, so do what you want and don't feel bad at all. Will be nice to have some space soon.

Oh that's a shame about the first guy not allowing pets but good the other one does. Is the rent the same, just more deposit? Have you still got another to look at as well?

That's good the dogs are getting on.

Very still here I think it about to start raining, a storm was forecast, but I hung out the washing anyway so going to go get it now.

Hi Niffler, how’s things? Have you been able to find somewhere to rent yet? Hope that you and the dog are ok, and that your wedding anniversary goes as well as it can.

Just a quick hello. Good to hear that Ddog is well and you are still house hunting.

Thinking of you today Niffler on your wedding anniversary. Hope you are doing ok and have found a nice place to live x

Hi Niffler,

Thinking about you today and hope you are ok.

How is the house/job hunting going? XX

Thinking of you today Niffler, you must be missing DH terribly, he would be so proud of you. I hope your wonderful memories comfort you somewhat.

I hope today has been an opportunity for you to hold your happy memories close. Sending you lots of support.

Just popped on to say I hope the day went ok. It must have been extremely strange. Be easy on yourself.

Wishing you strength and peace. X

Thank you all for your messages. I ended up going to the beach with my friend and the dogs. I was going to go out alone but when it came to it I asked my friend along. The day was somewhat surreal. If DH was here we would have celebrated quietly together (cards, a gift, takeaway and a movie) but with just me it was like a normal day but with someone missing.

I'm viewing a house tomorrow that sounds promising. Ddog is good and is enjoying getting out with my friends dog.

Hope tomorrow’s house is the one!

Hi Niffler,
I just wanted to say hello. I commented on your first thread when your husband and you were given the sad news.

I just wanted to say that I have followed your threads and think you are doing amazingly.

My husband was diagnosed on 21st June last year and passed away on 11th May, we just had the funeral this morning.

You’ve given me strength and I just wanted you to know that seeing how you’ve (albeit had to keep/) kept going despite all of the obvious sadness as well as some family things has really helped me too. (we’ve lots of family trouble and it’s hard to figure out what I want when people are constantly saying what they think)

I hope the house hunting goes well and if it’s appropriate for you that you keep posting.
X

The house viewing went well and we've put in an application. My car has now broken down and I'm probably going to need a new one.

Patronus
I've been mulling over your message for a couple of days deciding what to say. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband even though I know my sympathy does nothing to help you.

The only thing I can suggest re: family issues is refuse to talk about what you need to make decisions on and if making no decision is what you need to do then do it.

There is an expectation of how we should grieve and I know I haven't reacted how I thought I would and so people think I must be okay. It's okay to not be okay but not falling apart too. Every decision I make is difficult as it's a decision I wouldn't have made with DH and it feels like another step away from him and our lives together. It fills me with stress and anxiety even when I know it's the right thing to do.

Just allow yourself to be.

Exciting news about the house Niffler not so good about the car. That's good the 2 dogs are getting on well. When do you find out about the house? Fingers crossed for you, your friend and the dogs!

Very sad to hear of your loss MyPatronus

Niffler hope viewing goes well, shame about the car.

Patronus

How are things Niffler? Is the house application progressing? And what about the car?

I sign the contract for the house on Monday. My car is getting a temp fix for the next couple of weeks and then I'll be getting a new car after my holiday. Looking has really stressed me out although I know the car I want now.

I'm looking forward to getting my own space next week.