My daughter died on Christmas day, and I am struggling this year.

[VilootShesCute]

She was 9 years old and it was 6:50am 8 years ago Christmas day she went peacefully in my arms.

I can talk about it to family and friends but this year, I don't know, it's just hitting me harder. I don't want to put too much on to anyone else close to me so am trying to be strong but Christ, it is not easy. Please can I ask everyone to just think of my beautiful girl on Christmas day and without sadness, send love to her wherever she may be.

I will think of her and of you xxx

Thank you everyone.

unborn yes I have indeed got some help but had to wait 8 months for cbt last year when it all got a bit hairy, only to be told I was a bit too "messed up" (not their words, but along those lines) for cbt and I should have different help. I am now awaiting it in new year but am terrified what it will throw up. Anyhow, I can't think of that right now so just concentrating on getting through the next week. I am so excited for the dc's, but have the nervous energy which I feel every year, like something fantastical is going to happen. It's hard to explain. The year after she died I got so worked up I was sure in some deep part of me that I was going to see her again. Sounds bizarre I know. Stranger to feel it.

I feel such respect for mothers who lose children and carry on. This year has been awful for me for various reasons, but not even close to the pain you must have endured. I will be thinking of all your beautiful lost children this Christmas. x

Just got home from work to two VERY excited children. Nothing quite like it is there. They're all making it much more bearable ☺

Mines been at work from 8 this morning, I'm going to pile his presents up under the tree in the hall, he will have to use the side door to be in 😉 merry Xmas lovely to you and yours

I've been thinking of you, and shall light a candle as promised 🕯

Merry Christmas Guilty x

Much love to you and your beautiful daughter, OP. xx

Your daughter will be in my thoughts......as are you Scottish. I have not read anymore posts.Thinking of all those who are finding it poignant and sad. X

My daughter is 9. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. All the best.

Thank you lovely people x

I will be thinking of you and your lovely daughter tomorrow.

Thinking of you and your daughter.

You and your wonderful daughter have made a huge and positive impact on everyone who reads this thread. Even if that is a surge of emotion or just putting stuff into proper perspective. Love to you and your amazing family.
I lost my mum this year.

I will of course think of your beautiful little girl. I will wish her a happy day playing with all of the other children who can't be with their families and wish you healing thoughts.

After the death of a child even the happiest of moments are heartbreaking because there is always someone missing. The pain gets rounder on the edges but never goes

To all of those missing their children this Christmas too

And to your daughter, mine, and all of those others who are missed beyond words

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, this will be our last Christmas with my FIL. He has cancer and has only a few weeks left DH and mil are heartbroken and it's a sad time for us all. He's only 60, It seems so unfair sometimes.

To all of you who need it this Christmas

Your love shines off the screen and you write so movingly

I'll be lighting candles and thinking of you all x

I too shall think of your daughter tomorrow.

I lost my 18 year old son to a brain tumour nearly 3 years ago. Christmas is an extremely hard time when you have lost a child but to do so on Christmas Day itself is unbearable.

When my son was diagnosed just before his 16th birthday and we spent 6 months in hospital with him. We were in that first Christmas at a point where every moment was touch and go.

I hope that you are able to remember your daughter tomorrow and find some peace xx

Oh my goodness I got a proper lump in my throat, I'm so sorry OP. Those words seem very hollow, but I truly feel for you and your girl more than I can say. I'll be giving my DD an extra special cuddle tonight. Sending love to you and I'll be thinking of her tomorrow

I have an aunt who's a Buddhist and as a form of therapy and a coping mechanism she gives good to homeless shelters and gives food to elder people on the day her child died. She believes in reincarnation therefore she hopes the good deeds will give luck to her child's soul in the next life. You don't have to believe in this stuff( I don't) but it might help you to do a good dead on that day. Good deeds can mean anything not just something heavy like the examples I give. It might be inviting an older couple on your street ( who you know to be starving and in poverty thanks to Theresa May, Cameron and osbourne.

She gives food to homeless people! Major typo. Another one noted: gives food to old people homes. Both in the U.K. and abroad. Not everyone can afford that in the current climate, so maybe have a plant or something to look after? It's easier to forgive yourself for doing things to make up for your loss. My aunt said everyone who loses a child has a part of them that can't ever forgive themselves for the loss of a child. Either that or a therapist should help.

I'm so sorry Viloot about your beautiful girl. Sending strength and prayers to you and all of those who lost a child or someone close.

how awful for you. My dd is almost 9 and means everything to me.

I'm going to hug my DD now.

merry christmas OP. i've just lit a couple of candles and am downstairs cooking while DH reads to DD who is 5

a strange christmas here. my dad died suddenly on tuesday, which was also my birthday.

the week has been a weird combination of christmas stuff and funeral planning.
to all those who are missing someone at this time of year

Hi viloot
I traditionally go to the temple on Xmas day to celebrate Xmas.
If it's ok with you I would like to say a prayer for your DD too