Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My daughter died on Christmas day, and I am struggling this year.

206 replies

VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 21:55

She was 9 years old and it was 6:50am 8 years ago Christmas day she went peacefully in my arms.

I can talk about it to family and friends but this year, I don't know, it's just hitting me harder. I don't want to put too much on to anyone else close to me so am trying to be strong but Christ, it is not easy. Please can I ask everyone to just think of my beautiful girl on Christmas day and without sadness, send love to her wherever she may be.

OP posts:
Original poster
VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 22:09

mortificado we do that for her too, it is something that my other two can do and they like to say a prayer for their big sister. That is lovely of you. check so pleased your dd is okay. Hell for you, poor thing. They get so poorly so quickly.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 18/12/2016 22:09

If like to light a candle for her too if it's ok. I always light one for my grab who died on Xmas day too.

Flowers for you.

MsPavlichenko · 18/12/2016 22:10

I too will be thinking of your lovely daughter, and all of your family on Christmas day. What an unbearable loss for you all, and of course for your daughter herself. Wishing you whatever peace you can find.

PenguinsandPebbles · 18/12/2016 22:10

viloot I'm so sorry Flowers

It must seem so lonely for you x my heart just breaks for you

Will you have a moment to take yourself away from everything on the day so you can quietly grieve for a while?

And of course if you would like to talk about her it would be lovely to hear your happy stories x

cherrycrumblecustard · 18/12/2016 22:10

You are amazing OP xx

Original poster
VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 22:12

You're all so lovely I'm in bed crying now! We let a lantern go at ten to seven, weather depending, and then my two younger children kind of take over the day as they should do, I would never want them to be sad or feel they have to try and lift their mummy up. My friends are amazing, as is my family. I just put so much on to them I feel like I should stop.

OP posts:
CheeseCakeSunflowers · 18/12/2016 22:14

I'll say a pray for her and you if your OK with that.

MrsMontgomerySmythe · 18/12/2016 22:15

I will keep your little girl, you her mum and all who loved her in my thoughts and prayers.

Original poster
VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 22:15

To all the people who have lost anyone at all, I'm sorry to you all. It's just a part of me has gone, forever. Every day is a day further away from the last time I touched her skin. Or saw her eyes open and looking at me.

OP posts:
thatscottishconfection · 18/12/2016 22:17

Sending you so much love FlowersFlowersFlowers

My DH died on Thursday

CheckpointCharlie2 · 18/12/2016 22:17

I just really want to hug you OP. Am pretty sure we'll be woken up by 6.50 on Christmas Day so will be thinking of you right then. Much love ❤️

Original poster
VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 22:17

penguin I think I may do that this year. Just a bit of time alone, away from the chaos, thinking of her would be nice.

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie2 · 18/12/2016 22:19

scottish hug to you too. Sad (hug)

Original poster
VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 22:20

scottish I know, I read your whole thread and have been thinking of you. I spoke to my dh about it as he asked why I was so sad. I am just so sorry for what you have been through. No words can explain, just love from me to you

OP posts:
MarshaBrady · 18/12/2016 22:20

I'm so sorry, sending love to all your family. There are no words, but thinking of you and your darling daughter.

happymumof4crazykids · 18/12/2016 22:20

I really can't imagine how you cope with Christmas Day. I'm sat here hoping for a lovely Christmas this year after my DD being in hospital last year with pneumonia and your post has really bought home how lucky I am.
Sending Flowers and hugs at what must be a hard time for you and your family x

SerialBodenReturner · 18/12/2016 22:20

I'm so sorry OP and to all of you who have lost people - Scottish, for your loss this week and for everyone who is going to find Christmas a struggle. Love and strength to you all Flowers

Potentialmadcatlady · 18/12/2016 22:22

I will think of your little girl on Christmas Day...I wrote a message but it didn't seem right. The words aren't there tonight.. I will think of your girl.

Original poster
VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 22:22

Thank you everyone x

OP posts:
PenguinsandPebbles · 18/12/2016 22:24

A little time away can help x

It's actually ok to do that x you don't have to be a constant rock, or put on a brace face - you can and should allow yourself a little time out.

Original poster
VilootShesCute · 18/12/2016 22:25

howlong I'm sorry you lost your son. How old was he? Do you find Christmas hard?

OP posts:
CakesRUs · 18/12/2016 22:26

It's a hard time of year when you've lost a child. Losing one on Christmas Day is bound to make you struggle. I lost my daughter to cancer when she was almost six. Her birthday is 23rd December, Friday, I dread this run up to it. Christmas Eve is almost a relief, that her birthday is over, and I try to look on her birthday as a positive, like it was the day I first met her and how wonderful that day was, her anniversary, however, there are no positives, so I really, really feel for you. Hugs.

SteadyHand · 18/12/2016 22:27

Hi OP, I read your thread and couldn't not post. My dd also died of pneumonia. I find her anniversary and the lead up to it, so so hard. I can't imagine how you cope with that being on Christmas Day. Sending a hug to you, and I will definitely say a prayer for your little girl on Christmas Day xxx

Dawndonnaagain · 18/12/2016 22:30

Flowers For Viloot and Tunnocks and everyone who has lost someone they loved.

JustADevilWoman · 18/12/2016 22:31

Much love to you. I have a 9 year old daughter and cannot imagine the pain. Take care of yourself through this difficult, difficult time x

Swipe left for the next trending thread