Lemon's Mum

[lemonzest123]

Hi MNers,

Thanks for tipping me off about the message limit on my other thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2725008-Would-any-MNers-be-able-to-help-tonight?pg=1&order=

I am stunned and unbelievably humbled to see that one little post I wrote sparked 1000 messages, and Im so appreciative of all you personal stories and jokes to cheer me up.

MN is offically amazing and you're all fantastic.

DM had a rough night, she apparently woke in the night with a bad headache which I think confirmed the disease has moved into her head (we expected this, apparently what's causing the paralysis often appears in the brain too). Still no appetite and sleeping all the time.

Hope everyone had a good night. I had yet more nightmares - theyre all about Mum and they all horrible. Shouty I is in fine voice this morning. Dad said he heard Shouty I bellowing to Shouty II to shut up the other day. Pot, meet kettle

Hi Lemon- really good to hear from you, and glad all the planning is going so well. It sounds as though you have organised a beautiful service for your mum, just what she deserves. Do look after yourself though- you have a lot on with the funeral and the interview - it's wonderful that you have lots of support but don't be surprised if you also find the whole thing really overwhelming and exhausting.
You are doing so well and you have all of us thinking of you and praying for you

The service you have planned sounds lovely. It's still very early days for you and you are doing great. Your mum's last few minutes won't stay at the forefront of your thoughts, happier memories will eventually become more prominent.

Good luck with the interview. Great you have such good support too and be kind to yourself. You may find you're running on auto pilot for a while

Hi Lemon,

lovely to hear from you again :)

So glad you sound like you have enough support going on and have made superb plans for whats will be a great celebration of your mum's life.

Best of luck with the interview, I'm sure your Mum will be with you as you dazzle them today. I suggest coffee and cake as a treat to yourself after the interview, give yourself 5 minutes to breathe (hopefully DP will be making dinner too with a bottle of wine!!) and really hope you get some positive news back from them pronto!

Booby xx

Hi Lemon, hope today is going well for you, if you're up to it please let us know how you get on. We are all behind you.

Hi Lemon, It is so nice to hear from you. I wrote a post yesterday and then asked HQ to remove it as I was afraid it might have been a bit chirpy. I think the service you are organising sounds really lovely, especially the flowers and your mum's chosen song All things Bright and Beautiful is very lovely. .

Congratulations on the interview. Sometimes when I think about you, I imagine you as Bridget Jones and your lovely sounding DP as Mark Darcy. Your description of the new job fits in with my idea of you entirely. Go for it and as my Dad often says 'if it is for you, it won't pass you by'.

Look after yourself, eat properly and know that lots of people are wishing positive vibes your way. xx

Hello friends of Lemon,

Just wanted to thank you all for the best wishes; think I stormed the interview.

I won't write any more atm as feeling extremely sad today. Just want to curl up for hours and not move.

Xxxx

Aah Lemon, sorry you are having a sad day, it's quite normal as everything is still so raw. Sit warm and cosy with your happy memories. Hope you're not on your own.

So glad you smashed your interview, we are all rooting for you. When do you hear?? Make sure you let us know toute suite.

Here's a big MN hug for you and a big cuddle. Oh, and you might need and as well. We're all here if you need to chat, or even rant and rave. Take care.

Hi Lemon understand completely about just wanting to curl up. Take it easy and be kind to yourself. I have a very dear friend who has just begun the painful journey you've just completed. It's so difficult.

I'm so glad you had a good interview sweetheart.

Be kind to yourself- you're allowed to want to curl up into a ball, ok? Lemon you need to allow yourself to feel what you feel- there is no shame in it, you can't suppress it (not without doing major harm anyway) and concentrating on getting through each minute at a time is completely understandable.

Please take good care and just do what you need to xx

Hi lemon, hoping today hasn't been too rough and that you have some good things planned for the weekend- even if it's just time curled up on the sofa. Be good to yourself. Take things gently.

Hi Lemon,

Hope today has been a better day for you. Been thinking about you today, you have been an absolute diamond with your darling Mum. No one could have done more. You are one very special daughter, she is so proud of you. Hope you are not on your own this weekend.

Please let us know when you hear about your job.

Take care

Oh God, why are there Christmas things everywhere?!

I know Lemon, there should be a law that they can't start til end November at the earliest. Ruins Christmas I think, and I'm a person that normally likes it!! Suppose I should be thinking about what to buy but I just can't.

How are you doing? Been thinking about you. Where have you been to see the lights? I've got to wait for my electric wheelchair to be fixed so it's likely I'll avoid them. Suppose that's a good thing about not being able to walk, not being able to see them too early. Probably the only thing mind. Take care.

Bah! .. Humbug!! can't agree more re that end year festivities;(

Over done and overrated and almost here!

Yours Ebeneeezer geyser

Saw some lights already up in Camerwell boo, don't know if they've turned them on yet....

I normally just eye roll but this year every reminder of bloody Christmas is like taking a bullet.

I never stopped to appreciate before how terrible it must be for people who've lost a loved one being bombarded with images of happy families.

Just spent my first weekend solo at home in my flat for a year and a half (cared for Mum every weekend during her illness) as DP has gone home for a couple of days.

Felt weird but also quite nice to do chores lazily and drinking a lot of coffee with my housemate. Normally all washing/dishwasher/hoovering was done at stupid o'clock when I was rushing. Housemate had a row with his boyfriend so we spent last night snuggled up on the sofa burning aromatherapy oils and playing stupid games. The pets seem glad I'm home too, running around my ankles all the time.
Best of all I painted one of my walls last week, its bright teal )whole flat is white as is a new build) looks gorgeous and already more homely

What's everyone having for supper? I'm going to DFs for Peri Peri with DBro and SIL.

Oh God I'm such a knob and thoroughly BU....

But...when ever I get stresses I get exceptional anxious about the safety of people I care about, it's abhabit I got into when my DF had cancer when I was about 11.

This is SO insane as there are a million explanations but DP is training today (he's an ex prof. extreme sports person) and even though I know what he's doing and is as safe as possible he started at 12.30 and hasn't text me yet, like he always does because he knows I worry.

Oh god I hate anxiety

The anxiety is completely normal and absolutely understandable. Take a deep breath. Think about whatever colour you're going to paint the next wall. Pour yourself a drink, play some music. It's scary feeling anxious but it doesn't mean that anything bad is going to happen

Not a lot to suggest here, but still thinking of you lemon.

Aah Lemon, I am sorry you are feeling anxious, although it is completely understandable. You will start to enjoy Christmases again, I promise. My dear Aunt, who was like a second Mum to me, died just before Christmas 19 years ago and her funeral was on Christmas eve. I think of her a lot and every Christmas eve I go to the Crib Service and cry a little whilst I remember her. Luckily it's dark so nobody notices, otherwise they would likely think I was some kind of nutter! I just hope I can somehow get there this year. Take care.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirty_days_only/2763285-Friends-of-Lemon-Talk-me-down

Hey, give yourself a break, lady - you're ALLOWED to be anxious. It's not a crime and it's totally understandable, ok?

I've just seen you on Mrs' thread, it really is kind of you to post support on other people's threads

hello dear Lemon. Just wanted to say that I've found that the anxiety levels shooting through the roof seems to be part of this whole grieving process. Keep trying to remember that it is so unlikely that anything bad will happen, and focus on being a little nice to yourself - it has been such a long, rough road!

Holding your hand still

Hi Lemon, how are you feeling today? Hope you're a bit better. I know it's a very tough time at the moment but you are so very strong, even though you may not think you are. Thought of you this afternoon. There was a contestant on The Chase from Camberley and I immediately thought of you and Christmas lights. When will you hear about the job?