Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Lemon's Mum

999 replies

lemonzest123 · 14/09/2016 11:37

Hi MNers,

Thanks for tipping me off about the message limit on my other thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2725008-Would-any-MNers-be-able-to-help-tonight?pg=1&order=

I am stunned and unbelievably humbled to see that one little post I wrote sparked 1000 messages, and Im so appreciative of all you personal stories and jokes to cheer me up.

MN is offically amazing and you're all fantastic.

DM had a rough night, she apparently woke in the night with a bad headache which I think confirmed the disease has moved into her head (we expected this, apparently what's causing the paralysis often appears in the brain too). Still no appetite and sleeping all the time.

Sad

Hope everyone had a good night. I had yet more nightmares - theyre all about Mum and they all horrible. Shouty I is in fine voice this morning. Dad said he heard Shouty I bellowing to Shouty II to shut up the other day. Pot, meet kettle Hmm

OP posts:
HexBramble · 12/10/2016 07:14

Talk to us Lemon. You're not alone. Maybe we can help, my lovely.

Allatseainthemidlands · 12/10/2016 14:59

Hi lemon- we are all here to hold your hand and support you as best we can. Thinking of you and praying for you and all your dear ones

SilverShins · 13/10/2016 09:20

Hi Lemon. Talk when you're ready. For now, feel the love BrewCake

boobyooby · 13/10/2016 11:37

Hi Lemon, still thinking of you often.

Flowers
boo2410 · 14/10/2016 02:02

Hi Lemon, just dropped by to say I'm thinking of you all. Please take care of youself. Flowers Flowers

imother · 14/10/2016 03:07

Lemon, you poor poor thing.

I'm not surprised you're in hell. You've been under the most enormous stress for weeks and weeks and you will be reacting to that as well as missing your darling mum. But your mum is at peace now. Hold on to that and the comfort she had in having you and your family there with her. Talk to your ddad and bro. Tell them how you feel. They will be feeling the same.

Stay strong. You will come through this and you will learn to live with your grief without it consuming you. You will feel better soon. Better than this lowest point. Flowers

Fanlightfanny · 14/10/2016 11:07

Hi Lemon, hope your doing ok. Still thinking of you.

saffronwblue · 15/10/2016 00:37

How are you feeling lemon ?

Allatseainthemidlands · 15/10/2016 12:20

Hi lemon. I know it may feel as if every hour is crushing you with sadness. But it will become different- the memories that are full of jagged edges now will become precious and good things. Praying for you and your family. We are all still here Flowers

boo2410 · 17/10/2016 06:54

Morning Lemon, you just popped into my head so I thought I would pop in and say hi, hope you and your family are bearing up. Take care. Flowers Flowers

Fanlightfanny · 17/10/2016 15:37

Afternoon Lemon hope you and your family are doing ok?

ohfourfoxache · 17/10/2016 15:40

Checking in sweetheart, thinking of you xx

YouCanShoveYourOtherGranny · 18/10/2016 01:09

hello Lemon you are not forgotten. We're still here sending you strength and big hugs Flowers

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 18/10/2016 11:52

Hi beautiful MN,

Thanks once again for all your kind messages of support and your interest. I have been reading them all as well as doing my usual lurking on MN. I didn't want to post until I had something a bit more positive to say!

Well, funeral is set for Wednesday week; both vicar and Funeral Director have been extremely kind and made the process more bearable. It's a burial, which I think will be extremely stressful, but the Vic says that part will all be over in 15 minutes so as long as I don't black out and fall in the hole I'll get through it.

My housemate and his boyfriend, my friend from school, DP, my old friend from the pub and my Godson's Dad are all coming to support me which is so kind of them considering its in the middle of nowhere.

Me and DBro and DF are going to write 5 mins of stuff each for the Vic to read out; we decided trying to do it ourselves would make the day even more traumatic and we want the day to be a celebration (ending in All Things Bright and Beautiful because DM loved it). The casket is beautiful, woven from seagrass and I'll get the florist to adorn it with millions of roses and sunflowers.

I still think about her all the time and cry over something tiny most days, which of course turns out to be linked to her in some way. I also keep reliving her last terrifying few minutes. Going to see a GP about getting some therapy.

So the good news.... DP took me away to his little house by the sea for a long weekend which was calming and beautiful. Very very very loving the DP; he's been absolutely amazing throughout all of this and hasn't let me out of his sight. He hugs me for hours while I cry and doesn't mind being woken up and all hours to talk to and comfort me. I am unbelievably blessed!!

Also, I've somehow managed to land a job interview for tomorrow. The biggest agency in my industry wants to see me about potentially setting up a brand new department; basically my dream job, working loads of interesting people and top Slebs....I can't even believe they're keen to see little Lemon!!! I don't feel nearly important or clever enough, but I can literally hear my Mum saying "Go for it Lemon!". Am completely terrified but I'll go in there and do my bloody best, for Mum to be proud and a new start for me. But I don't mind if I don't get it. I've got a roof over my head and a job, I've got my fam and DP. Loads to be thankful for.

Love you all to bits xxxxx Flowers

OP posts:
user1466690252 · 18/10/2016 12:05

Im sat here sobbing, i dont really know what to say but my god im in awe of you!
You are incredible and I'm echoing your mums voice and screaming at you "go get it Lemon"
Sending you love, peace and my admiration. ❤

Original poster
lemonzest123 · 18/10/2016 12:10

AW!! That's so kind but goodness me please don't cry! Quick, have one of these Wine.

I'm off with DF to talk to the lovely florist who I completely cleaned out of sunflowers on our last Mother's Day together haha! I hope she remembers us.

Also might get the old barnet cut ahead of the interview. DM was obsessed with my hair looking tidy before interviews!

OP posts:
user1466690252 · 18/10/2016 12:12

That sounds a lovely treat! I love having my hair done but specifically when they wash ot for me. If I had the money I would go to the salon and have them wash and dry my hair twice a week!
Enjoy!

Grumpyoldblonde · 18/10/2016 12:25

Good to hear from you Lemon I'm so glad everyone is pulling together to support each other. I think it's lovely to have all the flowers, just beautiful and I think you're wise to let the vicar do the readings, they are still your words after all.
I do you it goes well and you get through it ok. Amazing news about this job, might be a welcome distraction, on the other hand it might be a bit much in the circumstances, again, I think you are being wise to say you don't mind too much if you don't get it, but hey, you very well might. DP sounds a dream, a keeper, sea air does much to clear the mind I always think. Keep eating and maybe a good multi-vitamin wouldn't go amiss, grief can make us very run down x

User568945 · 18/10/2016 13:45

Oh Lemon 'tis so good to hear from you! Hope all goes well for tomorrow - we'll all be thinking of you, and for next Wednesday too, of course.

ohfourfoxache · 18/10/2016 14:57

Oh darling Lemon I'm so pleased to see your update. Been thinking about you a lot.

So proud of you getting this interview, you sound incredibly strong and so positive.

wipes eyes

Thanks
Original poster
lemonzest123 · 18/10/2016 16:14

My god Ive ordered every sunflower in the county for DMs send off Smile

Lucky cost wasnt an object for DF! I was also thinking of buying some £2 picture frames and filling them with pix on DM for the wake party...so people can take them home if they like.

OP posts:
boo2410 · 18/10/2016 16:26

Lemon, hello to you!! So lovely to hear from you. I think your darling Mums funeral will be very sad but very beautiful if that makes sense. She will love all the flowers and the casket sounds lovely too. It's great that you are all so involved in it and that you have plenty of support. Your crying will become less over time, but it will take time.

Your DP sounds absolutely marvellous and just what you need when you're having a bad day, he's definitely got your back and sounds so lovely.

And yay for the job interview, I agree with your darling Mum, bloody well go for it and give it your best shot, it sounds really good. Having your hair cut will make you feel a million dollars and give you confidence. It sounds really good and you have got absolutely the right attitude, fab if you get it, if you don't it's not the end of the world as you already have one. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

I am so pleased you are sounding a bit brighter, was very worried about you. Take care Flowers Flowers

boo2410 · 18/10/2016 16:29

Oh and the pix idea is a lovely thoughtful idea for people to take home. Do it! Flowers Flowers

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/10/2016 19:50

Wonderful to hear from you Lemon, and so glad all the arrangements are going well and everyone's being supportive - though frankly it's no more than you deserve Flowers

Also excellent news about the interview, and of course your attitude about "it would be lovely but isn't the end of the world" is spot on; truly your mum raised a very special daughter. The funny thing, though, is that with an approach like that you're more likely to get it than if you'd gone along in a complete tizz ... here's hoping!!

saffronwblue · 18/10/2016 21:28

lemon it sounds as if it is going to be a beautiful service full of love, sorrow and flowers. I am glad you will have people there just to support you. And yes, go, go, go for the job. Remember after what you have been through for the last few weeks, you can do anything. Xx