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Original poster

DH committed suicide on Saturday, rang Samaritans, not helped.

981 replies

RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 03:16

Anyone there? I 'm a bit done in. We'd been married less than 2 years. I got him a dollar bill folded into an origami carp for our 1st anniversary. He hanged himself. We didn't have DCs, but we have 2 beautiful cats. Sister flying in tomorrow. I don't know how he could leave me and our 2 little lads (cats)

OP posts:
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everonwardsagain · 04/08/2015 14:04

No wise words, but just wanted to say I am so very sorry for your loss x

timtam23 · 04/08/2015 14:14

So very sorry RubbishMantra Flowers

Offred · 04/08/2015 14:16

That's really really very sad and I imagine you won't really be able to think about very much atm, just feel.

I second speaking to SOBS and just 'allowing' yourself to deal with this is whatever way you are dealing with it.

Sad
MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 04/08/2015 16:35

So sorry RubbishMantra... don't know what to say, but I am thinking of you and wishing you strength to get through the coming days. xx

Nonnainglese · 04/08/2015 16:44

I can't find any words that will make a difference Mantra, just so very sad and feeling for you at such a terrible time. Very much thinking of you ((hugs)) x

RoosterCogburn · 04/08/2015 16:44

So sorry RubbishMantra.

thecatneuterer · 04/08/2015 17:06

So sorry RubbishMantra. Thinking of you.

whatsinthename · 04/08/2015 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoftBlocks · 04/08/2015 18:22

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

LinkDat · 04/08/2015 18:29

Sending hugs Flowers

staffiegirl · 04/08/2015 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LetsTessalate · 04/08/2015 19:44

I'm so very sorry. So very sorry RM.

JovialNickname · 04/08/2015 20:01

I'm so sorry Mantra. We are all thinking of you xx

guinnessgirl · 04/08/2015 20:23

oh RubbishMantra, what a dreadful, terrible thing to happen. I have lost too many friends and loved ones to suicide, and it is shitty and awful. Please remember that it is OK to feel angry, confused, sad... let yourself process this in whatever way works for you. I hope your sister is providing you with comfort and a shoulder to cry on. Thanks

ALaughAMinute · 04/08/2015 20:23

So sorry Mantra. We're here if you want to talk Flowers

FujimotosElixir · 04/08/2015 20:25

Oh God I a so sorry for your loss Flowers xx

Ohbollocksandballs · 04/08/2015 20:33

I am so sorry Flowers

catzpyjamas · 04/08/2015 20:34

Mantra, I send you and your boys hugs from me and pyjamacat. Suicide is such a difficult death to deal with.
I hope your sister has arrived and you are getting the RL support you need. Flowers

BagelwithButter · 04/08/2015 22:24

Just to echo what others said, don't try and do too much.

Don't feel you have to sort out paperwork, notify banks, everyone... ALL that stuff can wait. There is often a compulsion to "do" things (perhaps a reaction to the chaos around) but it isn't necessary.

Get your sister to relay messages, organise what you're happy for her to do re. the funeral. If you have good friends you can trust, get them to do simple things that you feel they will do the way you will be satisfied with (if that makes sense). Think of them as a protective ring around you, so that you aren't burdened with too many things.

Try and sleep whenever you can.

Original poster
RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 22:27

I'm taken aback how lovely every single one of you have been to me. I posted in desperation after ringing the Samaritans. I'm not really a people person, and asked my friends to leave, as I was finding it exhausting being with them. I'm far more comfortable with people I'm not face to face with, if that makes sense? You Ladies of the Litter have helped me through some crap times.

He ate bacon and eggs before killing himself. His sister told him he should have some toast with it.

Still making friends with the old voddy and fags. everyone who met him loved him though. He was what you might call an introvert. He was so kind, and sweet, and had a really dry sense of humour, that he wasn't even aware of. His nickname for me was Pisspipes and I called him Peepipes.

OP posts:
NoelHeadbands · 04/08/2015 22:28

Condolences to you and your families Thanks

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 04/08/2015 22:31

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sending you love.

Just be kind to yourself.

You will probably feel angry at some point. That's ok.

Offred · 04/08/2015 22:33

I can understand that - not being a people person, but it's important also, I would imagine (not having ever been though something like this so I don't know) not to allow yourself to become isolated. Taking space seems functional - being alone (as in prolonged and isolated) doesn't.

Probably, at some stage being able to talk to other people who have experienced something similar will help you process a bit more but perhaps not just yet. Maybe you need to withdraw a bit right now? I don't know, I'm just extremely sorry about this. I recognise your username, it is hard to know what to say except I am just very very sorry.

BertPuttocks · 04/08/2015 22:38

I'm so sorry, Mantra. Flowers

Corygal · 04/08/2015 22:43

Mantra, I know exactly what you mean about face to face, sometimes it's just a bit much.

Fags and vodka all good, but force something solid your throat as well or you'll feel even worse. If you can't eat anything hard, down a pint of milk. Assuming you can nick it off the cats.

DH sounds like such a lovely man. Me and Mr C are knocking around till the small hours tonight should you wish to talk.