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Original poster

DH committed suicide on Saturday, rang Samaritans, not helped.

981 replies

RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 03:16

Anyone there? I 'm a bit done in. We'd been married less than 2 years. I got him a dollar bill folded into an origami carp for our 1st anniversary. He hanged himself. We didn't have DCs, but we have 2 beautiful cats. Sister flying in tomorrow. I don't know how he could leave me and our 2 little lads (cats)

OP posts:
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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/08/2015 04:21

Oh Mantra, so sorry to read this, what a sad time for you Thanks :(
I hope your sister can stay with you for some time. (((hugs)))

Original poster
RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 04:23

The paper carp was because I'm a fisherwoman, and do Origami. Paper because tis traditional apparently to give paper for your first anniversary. I took him out fishing , and caught a Pike. Only a small one, but they look bigger than they are. We checked it over to remove leeches etc. and put it back. Watched it swim off. DH's eyes went all big and excited. Everyone who met him loved him. he's the most gentle creature I ever met.

OP posts:
handfulofcottonbuds · 04/08/2015 04:24

That's so thoughtful mantra. Do you still have it?

Do you want to talk more about your husband?

StaceyAndTracey · 04/08/2015 04:28

Ah, that is my sexist assumption that he was the fisherman< stupid >

How and why do you remove leeches from a fish ? < more stupid questions >

How did you meet your DH? ( hope it's ok to ask you about him )

KeatsiePie · 04/08/2015 04:30

Mantra that was such a perfect present. I am so sorry.

Baffledmumtoday · 04/08/2015 04:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 04/08/2015 04:35

Mantra, I just want to say how sorry I am that you were left like this. I have a friend who is a few months ahead of where you are on your journey, and I just want to tell you that there is life after this loss (even though that is probably cold comfort to you right now..)

cocobean2805 · 04/08/2015 04:36

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Flowers

Original poster
RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 04:38

Thankyou handful. I had the origami carp put in a frame. I could never do Origami like that. But I did love seeing his face when I landed that Pike. Don.t have DCs, but his face was child-like that day.

He had schizo-affective disorder, which made life a bit of a struggle for him. I've never been afraid of losing anyone until I met him.

Bless you.

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Original poster
RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 04:44

No questions are stoopid Stacey Sorry to say, I murdered the leeches with artery forceps. Squish 'n' twist.

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StaceyAndTracey · 04/08/2015 04:48

And I thought you litter tray regulars were animal lovers

Dumdedumdedum · 04/08/2015 04:52

You poor heart. I wish I had words for you, but I am sending my thoughts and good wishes to you. What else would you like to tell us about him? Do you mind if I ask what you remember him for, apart from his illness? If that is insensitive, I'm very sorry.

StaceyAndTracey · 04/08/2015 05:01

I've never been afraid of losing anyone until I met him

It's the terrible price of loving so much, isn't it ? Such a high risk activity

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/08/2015 05:03

He sounds like he was a lovely man, Mantra - such a shame that his illness overtook him.

Does he have family? Are they being supportive?

Original poster
RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 05:16

Thumb His family are...keeping up appearances? When the copper came to tell me DH was dead I told him " I want to headbut you" (I didn't though) His family were a little more restrained. I lack the good breeding they have though.

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CatMilkMan · 04/08/2015 05:17

The paper carp is such a lovely gift.
What are your cats names? I just got my cats a new cat tree and they are still suspicious of it.

BumWad · 04/08/2015 05:24

Your DH and your love for him sounds wonderful.

I am so sorry for your loss.

How are you doing? When does your sister arrive?

springbabydays · 04/08/2015 05:25

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad that your beautiful cats are providing you with some comfort. Wishing you strength and peace Flowers

Original poster
RubbishMantra · 04/08/2015 05:26

The lads are Avey-Tare and Izzle. Sorry to appear like an utter penis, posting loasd on my own thread. Keeping my mind off stuff. Samaritans are fucking dreadful.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/08/2015 05:28

Do you know why they stopped one of his meds? It seems such a stupid thing to have done - I presume it allowed his illness to take hold of him again - will you be taking it up with the doctors? Through PALS or whomever? Perhaps it's too early to be thinking of things like that though.

I'd be so angry. Heartbroken, lost, sadder than a sad thing but angry too. Wine

PunkrockerGirl · 04/08/2015 05:29

So sorry, Mantra Flowers

Such a terrible illness, your poor, poor dh. Can't imagine what you're going through. Be kind to yourself and I hope those beautiful cats are giving you some comfort.k

CatMilkMan · 04/08/2015 05:33

Animal collective fan?
You don't appear like an utter penis, as it gets a little later I'm sure more people will be on to talk, taking your mind off it seems like a good idea.
Are your cats special breeds or just a random mix like mine?

Dumdedumdedum · 04/08/2015 05:36

Carry on posting. Please. It's your prerogative. Shame about the Samaritans. I rang them after my father died and they just listened and occasionally asked questions, but let me ramble on. It did help. But it was a very long time ago. I hope the other number (uk-sobs.org.uk/) you were given up-thread is more helpful to you when they open later on today. In the meantime, there are people here "listening" to you.

MsAR · 04/08/2015 05:44

Keep talking! I can't imagine what you're going through but my thoughts are with you. LIfe can be so bloody cruel.

Dawn's just broken here. I'm by the sea listening to the wind and the waves. It feels very peaceful. Scream, cry, rant all you want but keep in mind that the feeling of peace will return for you one day. I hope it comes soon.

BerylStreep · 04/08/2015 05:54

Rubbish I am really sorry for your loss.

I see you on the Litter Tray a lot. So sorry you are going through this.