DH committed suicide on Saturday, rang Samaritans, not helped.

[RubbishMantra]

Anyone there? I 'm a bit done in. We'd been married less than 2 years. I got him a dollar bill folded into an origami carp for our 1st anniversary. He hanged himself. We didn't have DCs, but we have 2 beautiful cats. Sister flying in tomorrow. I don't know how he could leave me and our 2 little lads (cats)

Thinking of you this evening.

I sense some TSM worry there?

Hope you had a reasonable night.

Sorry M I was put off replying by PC behaving badly (Mr C sat on it, it's not at all well) and posted a lot of weirdness. How are you doing?

Little M so faintmakingly fudgesome.

Cozie, Seniorboy's cold collation platter made me laff and given Mr C ideas about Cory Inc. petcare standards.

Wotcher Mantra - just checking in. I'm having a massive chocolate craving right now - doing low-carbing for the next few weeks (or as long as I can stand it) to get rid of my spare tyre, but late-evening tv always sets me off wanting a snack.

Hope you're steering clear of the TSPs, and that the cats are behaving themselves. xx

It being a weekday, we have to eat appallingly healthily here. Roll on Friday.

(Weekends at cozietowers - which start at 19.00 on Friday - you're allowed all sorts including sweeties. Until then, it's grapefruit. )

I'm a bit peculiar, insofar as I don't have a sweet tooth, not even for cake! And I Looove grapefruit! But...I more than make up for it with the double cream and butter that goes in practically everything. And I munch my way through a lot of cheese. I haven't found a 10 on the strength scale yet, that's my Holy Grail. Milleens from Ireland comes pretty close, at a 9.

TSPs rang last night, I ignored the call.

Do you remember the urn for DLH I've told you about? Well I decided to hang on, because the same artist said he had a few to be completed this week. Well, the other one was beautiful, but the one he sent me a photograph of yesterday, even more so! It had such an impact on me that I cried at the sight of it. Horse Chesnut burr wood with the natural voids filled in with blue marble and gold. It almost looks like a globe of the world, fitting for DLH because he loved travelling. Urn bloke just wants to give it a final polish, and I'll have it by the end of the week. I don't know how I'll feel opening DLH's ashes, they're still sealed. Might wait until my sister's here in November.

Is there any chance that the funeral director would transfer the ashes from the box to the urn for you? Just to make it easier on you. Sounds utterly lovely, I have to say.!

Have you tried Stinking Bishop cheese? I understand that's pretty ripe...

You ignored the TSP's call? Well done you!

(I hope that didn't make you feel too anxious.)

You ignored one call - brilliant. Well bloody done. You might have been twitchy afterwards but the better part of you knows that it was nothing to worry about.

Have you tried Roka cheese crispies? Much of my excess bodyweight is made up of them and every oz was worth it. M&S do a version with aged cheddar which is meltin' yet kickin'.

The urn sounds superb, a fitting tribute. The glittering firnament bit sounds heaven.

I am off to the doc as sleeping with one leg round my neck thanks to Mr C's nighttime positioning choices has knackered my ankle. Will be back on tomorrow, hope you are OK. Go cold turkey if TSP ring again, if you can do it. And you can, you know.

I'm so sorry for your loss

That urn sounds lovely, Mantra. And very well done for ignoring that call... one step at a time, but the first one is always difficult.

Ooh, I'll have to try those C, they look delightful. Have you tried the Thomas J Fudge jalepeno cheddar wafers? If I met your pet tramp, I'd probably want to nibble his garlic feet - how do you resist?

"sleeping with one leg round my neck thanks to Mr C's nighttime positioning choices has knackered my ankle." If you try to roll over in bed, does he get angry? MCat does. Little M hissed at me today! Whilst I was getting dressed, he took a swipe at me bra strap, then blamed me when I tried to free his entangled claw.

I don't think I mind about transferring DLH's ashes, Thumb. I'll probably do some kind of ritual. I'm a great believer in performing rituals, I find them comforting.

Thanks all of you for the big-up for blanking the TSPs. I felt strangely calm, because I knew they'd have just made me feel like crap if I'd picked up the telephone.

I'm glad you didn't speak to them. It never did me any good talking to mine.

I read but I don't post, I suppose I don't know what to say and everything sounds trite.

Did I ever tell you about the time my dm bit dh?. She went to kiss me goodbye after a boozy dinner where I threatened to throw the water jug over her and everyone in the restaurant went very quiet and studied their dinners and I walked away. Dh said "I'll kiss you good night" and she bit him on the neck when he bent down. Odd evening.

They rang the next day to invite us for dinner again so make of that what you will.

Oh no Fluffy! How traumatising! First (and only) time tsm met DLH, she told him about a gyno examination she once had, despite my pleading looks with her to stfu. DLH always said he couldn't remember the conversation. Either being the complete gentleman, or most likely it was too yeuch for him, so he blocked it out. Eew, just remembered, on the same day she went on to tell him about the bloke over the road who keeps trying to get off with her. Oh, and when she goes for her "Fast Walk" every morning, all the males in the town wait for her to appear, peering out of their windows. Some of them follow her. She is clearly a female 80 yr old Pied Piper.

Dear Goodness, Fluffy.

There's my dh looking at the 21yo hot neighbour over the road who goes to the shop in PANTS when What he really needs is an octogenarian in beige sweats.

Does your mum do her fast walk in tiny black pants and a tiny vest? if so I don't doubt they look.

She actually wears tight boot-cut velour joggers with "Bom Bom" emblazoned across the bum-seat... This "drives the men wild", apparently...

Goes to the shop in pants ?? My respect for younger folk goes up and up - I've been eyeing the longer bum-covering jacket since the beginning of the October winds here. (And that's with trousers on.)

Such fortitude.

Shop in pants? DH distracted? You want to tell ASBO about that Fluffy, he wouldn't put up with that from DH. Not that he puts up with DH anyway much, hem.

The Biting MIL is a Mumsnet First. A life first for me, as well.

Bom-Bom bum mum has left me dumb.

I can't say anything even out loud except Ho hum. How rum.

Fucking hell, I thought mine were "idiosyncratic".

Yep, M, Mr C gets bitey (evidently not as fanged as Fluffy's DM) if I move a muscle. He loves toes at the best of times, so any temptation to have a good chew or slash gets succumbed to. Awful bloodstains on the duvet, etc. He loves a bra as well. Brought the electrician my pants last week.

How is your tum tum? Avocados, I'm thinking. Or ravioli in a tin. Yum yum.

your MIL bit your DH in the neck? SHowing her true vampiric tendencies, was she, Fluffy?

Mantra - long may you continue to resist answering the phone to TSPs - it's definitely the best way forward. In fact, I wouldn't answer the phone to them ever again - just call them when you feel like you can stand it, if ever. If not, tough nuts to them.

Mild aside - we see all sorts shopping around her. Bogan dress for supermarkets = onesie plus tatty old uggs in cooler weather; "sportswear" that is too tight and too lurid, with either narsty ol' flipflops (thongs) or barefoot in warmer weather. Blokes all wear vests (not the string variety, usually a sports team) and knee-length shorts with either thongs, barefoot or sport sandals. I see some amazing sights when out shopping in our local town sometimes...

It was my Mum Thumb. She rates herself for it too.

I saw a woman in fleece pyjamas and fake uggs in the vets once, it's hard not to stare.

If your rushing an injured animal in then ok but she was making an appointment.

I still can't get over your bitey Mum Fluffy. Fangs for the dinner, MIL, and all that

Your woman in fleeces n ugg combo reminded me of this photo. Apparently sharting in Walmart is a "thing".