DH committed suicide on Saturday, rang Samaritans, not helped.

[RubbishMantra]

Anyone there? I 'm a bit done in. We'd been married less than 2 years. I got him a dollar bill folded into an origami carp for our 1st anniversary. He hanged himself. We didn't have DCs, but we have 2 beautiful cats. Sister flying in tomorrow. I don't know how he could leave me and our 2 little lads (cats)

So, so sorry for your loss. from me too.

So sorry for your loss My grandfather was also one of the kindest, most soft-spoken men I've ever met yet my predominant memory of him is in and out of veteran's mental health hospitals due to a number of serious attempts to take his own life. His PTSD from serving in SE Asia in WW2 and then in Japan as part of the occupation forces hit him really hard thirty years after the war when his kids had grown up and he had more time to think about it. He ended up dying at only 67 of an unrelated (to MH) illness.

So sorry for your loss, your DH sounded like a lovely man

I hope you managed to get a little sleep Mantra

What time are you expecting your sister?

Mantra I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your sister arrives soon. Do anything to get through these early days and try every avenue for help. I'm sorry the Samaratins were rubbish but help can come from the most unexpected places, don't give up. Keep talking on here and people will listen and hold your hand. Sadly I'm supporting a dear friend bereaved by suicide. The range of emotions on top of " ordinary" grief is enormous and exhausting. Sending you strength and a hug to get through this. You're not on your own here.

I'm awake and here too mantra
Two years isn't long enough. I'm so sorry

RubbishMantra, my dad killed himself less than two months ago. Take the good advice, the hugs, the love, the flowers, and ignore the stupid comments... unbelievable as it may seem at the time, even the owners of the most stupid comments are trying to help. Grieve your own way, in your own time, there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. Embrace sadness, anger, shock, fear, and whatever comes to you. Talk to your DH. Scream at him. Cry for him. You are right to feel angry, you are right to feel however you feel. It is unfair, it is shit, it is absolutely fucking crap. PM me if you just need to unload. Big, big hugs, there are tough times ahead but it will get better. In time.

So, so sorry.

My close friend killed himself while in the throes of depression and all I felt at first was anger because he didn't ask for help. It's ok to be angry with him.

I eventually came to realise that he just could not struggle any longer and genuinely thought it was best for everyone if he just went away.

Keep talking here, OP. We're here for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss Mantra

How are you this morning? (are you in UK?).

The carp sounds really special and thoughtful. x

I just think you are a pretty bloody special person yourself, I mean how many people catch a fish then take the trouble to let it go in a healthier state than before? That's lovely. And to take so much thought over a really personal gift. You must have made him so happy. The dying thing was unrelated to any of that.

By all means be angry, your anger can't hurt him now and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if it helps. But be assured it was nothing, NOTHING to do with how much he cared about you, or the cats, or anyone else important he left behind.

Good morning mantra , I hope you and your cats got some sleep

And that you sister is a support , both practically and emotionally . I know there will be lots of thins to do and arrangements to make this week .

I feel for you. It must be horrendous.

Re the Samaritans, it can depend who answers the phone. Some of them are wonderful, highly trained and experienced, some not. You could try again and ask for someone experienced.

Depression can be a terminal illness, just like cancer. Don't be angry with him, he felt that there was no point in going on, and you and the cats would be better off without him. I know that's not the case, but that is how depression warps your thoughts.
So very sorry for your loss Mantra, thinking of you and your boys xxxx

Very sorry Rubbish I hope your sister arrives soon.

Big hugs to you my darling

I'm so sorry RM.

Your husband must have been in so much pain. Sometimes it is hard to see past that or a way out.

I have attempted. Still more cross than I should be that it didn't work.

Take comfort in your cats. Fur balls with immense healing qualities.

Take care.

Sorry it all sounds so trite. Feelings into words aren't always my strong point.

Rubbish, I am so incredibly sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through. I don't know what else to say. I will be thinking of you all day x

I am so very sorry, what a dreadful shock for you. Pleased your sister will be with you soon. Thinking of you and your cats.

So sorry for your loss Rubbish. I hope you've been able to get some sleep. and that your sister will arrive soon.

I hear that uk-sobs.org.uk/ are amazing

Oh Mantra.

Thinking of you all.

Mantra, thinking of you again this morning. One more night over, it will get easier with time.

You could always post on here as well if you can muster the strength - there are people who post there who have experienced such situations.

So sorry to hear this. You must be in such a state of shock.

Lots of love from your litter mate xxxxxxx