Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

Oh SM that is horrible to have to suffer vertigo. What does he think is wrong with your stomach ? Hope the meds will kick in soon and you start to feel better.

I have ibs and just can't seem to get it under control lately. having a lazy afternoon today! how about you

My dd suffers from that and I think her med is buscapan ? Have I got that right?

yes I have mebeverine so hoping to feel better.

Oh I walked to our local chemist to get a script , and have just come in from dead heading the flowers and giving it a good soak. Want to keep them all as long as I can. Although my mums roses have had it, they only flower once so that's if for this year. Just waiting fir my ds to come back from his haircut then I will sit and have a cuppa with him before he goes off. He is actually living here at the moment die to a big extension and new roof on his bungalow but this week is staying at his mates to look after the cat whilst they are away on holiday.

Ah I see bet it is nice having him back although I'm sure he will be pleased once work is done. just complained that we had nothing nice to eat in and I actually felt like eating and dp has gone into the kitchen and is making chocolate Crispie cakes haha he's a good guy

thats funny sm, I bought chocolate crispie cakes today, havent had them for ages

everybody loves Crispie cakes. I'm up super early again he always asks why I get up when we aren't going out and the kids aren't up but I enjoy the total silence in the house for a few hours. how are you?

I'm fine, I woke early today as well, isn't it a pain when you're not working you wake early but when you're working and school is on you can't wake at all!

enjoy the peace, while it lasts!! how are you feeling today x

Not too bad actually which is nice. any plans for today?

all I did was go shopping for school uniform, they go back next week here

did you do anything nice yourself x

went to Speke with ds as my dad and his partner wanted him to choose birthday presents. dad has his new job starting ds birthday so wanted to go today then came back and went swimming,tired out now! dp came in the pool which was nice, it's been a strange few weeks was nice to all be together doing something. any plans for the weekend

Hello again. I've been at my mums for a few days and it's been a roller coaster of emotions - choosing clothes to bury Dad in, registering his death, helping mum with some official stuff, meeting relatives. I've come home today to regenerate a little. I watched a film with my DDs this evening and dare I say it I even laughed.

I just feel washed out now. It's going to be a week tomorrow since Dad died. I can't believe it but at the same time I can accept I'll never see him again and it breaks my heart.

Today at mums I couldn't get to the phone in time and the answer machine kicked in with Dad's voice. I'd been feeling better until that point. Then an awful cold caller phoned and I just had to put the phone down.

It's great to get all this out onto this thread though, I get alot out of reading others' shared experiences.

it's a really difficult time, I found that the waiting was the hardest part for me mum had to have all sorts of tests as we got overruled when we said no. we went shopping to buy mum clothes it was so weird watching all these people having a normal trip out whilst we chose a dress for mum. I am glad that you got to spend some time with your dc, the answer phone sounds hard great to hear his voice but a shock . it sounds as though you have the practical things under control, I hope you manage some more laughs with your dc this weekend there is always someone here to talk too

Here we go ssd !

bonkersit is a very stressful time and there are times where we suddenly realise that we are doing things just normally. Then it hits us once again and our spirit plunges down once again. It is very tough for the first few weeks and there will be many times of utter despair, but gradually you do get longer gaps between the "normal" days and the awful gut wrenching "sobbing days " it's a real roller coaster for the first few weeks and it hurts, a lot.
Glad that the arrangements are all in place, you will probably start to get a bit anxious as the funeral gets nearer and worry that you can't face it, but surprisingly on the day we seem to gain some strength from somewhere and it's not as bad as we thought it would be, that is not to say it isn't upsetting, of course it is, but it helps to be surrounded by other family and friends at that time.
I hope everyone else is doing ok and just taking each day as it comes

Bonkers...
It's like being in limbo IMO.
I was dads executor and as mum was ill did everything.
It kept me busy and that was good, bit it was very hard and pretty exhausting.
It was very upsetting choosing an outfit for dad. And I couldn't find any socks without holes in!
It was 2.5 weeks between dads death and his funeral (we had to get him back from where he died, and there was a pm and then the vicar was on holiday!)
I still phone my dads mobile to hear his voicemail message :(
I will never stop missing him, but the gut wrenching Days are rare now.
Thinking of you x

oh bonkers your post brought it back. I can remember ironing mums clothes for her to be buried in, myself. and taking it down to the undertakers. heartbreaking.

Baddz I was thinking of phoning Dad's phone and recording the message. And the holey socks - that made me smile - we had similar!

I am going to see Dad's body on Tuesday. I'm dreading it but want to see him one last time. My DH has been through this and says in the long run it helps. I hope he's right. Then funeral on Wednesday. Mummylin, I am getting anxious about it already. I hope I do find some strength from somewhere.

You will bonkers I promise you.

I went to see dad too.
Not sure it helped - I'd already seen him at the hospital - but I'm glad I did.
I read a poem at dads funeral. To this day I don't know how I did it.
But Lin is right, you find the strength from somewhere.
X

I also went to see my mum, 3 times in fact, it's the last chances we get, although not everyone likes to do this. On the very last time I cut some of mums hair off and I have it in my gold locket, the only thing is I'm afraid to wear it now in case I lose it. I also wrote her a letter, put photos of all the family in. Some wool and a bag of sweets which I had bought for her a couple of hours before she died, so of course I didn't get to give them to her. I am missing her so much at the moment, I think it's because next week is my nieces wedding anniversary and mum was so happy ( daughter of my sis that died ) little did we know we only had a few more weeks with her. It is on my mind a lot at the moment and building up to the day she died.

mummylin. the build up is awful. it all comes back and feels like you're back there again. beyond sad.

I didnt see my mum, the undertaker advised against it. But I seen her leaving her house, same as my dad. I feel they seen me into the world and I seen them going out. It stays with your forever. The private ambulance people wanted to shut the door so I wouldn't see mum going, but I opened it, as I seen dad go that way and I wanted to see mum out to.

I've had my moment this morning before ds gets up, another birthday without you mum. it sounds like forever to say he was five the last time you saw him and now he is eight. it seems alien to me since you couldn't go two days without seeing him. I know you would be so proud of him, he misses you so much. we all do

happy birthday to your ds sm , I hope he has a great day xx

its so bittersweet isnt it, I always do my crying in the car, then wipe your eyes and carry on..

I saw my dad in the funeral home, my mum & siblings saw him first & found it really really upsetting (we also had a pm & coroner involved so took some time for his body to be released) but I chose to go ahead & see him. He did look awful, not like my dad at all, so I turned to look at his chest/lower body & I found it very comforting to sit with him one last time. I would have visited him again if I'd had time, I used to sit with my dad a lot in the 2+ years before he died, so it felt right for me. I don't think my mum etc could understand why I wasn't upset like they were. Also it wasn't the first person I'd seen in a chapel of rest, so I kind of knew what to expect. Everyone is different, I hope you are ok tomorrow bonkers x