Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

FFS mummylin! sorry for swearing but I'm in a bitch of a mood tonight and I had to swear there!!

what is it with folk, folk that should know better??

my sister certainly wouldnt be any better but as we know she is/was hopeless.

I'm sorry. Just you keep on doing them, then you know they will be done properly and regularly too.

Feel so sorry for dp today ,we agreed a while ago to hopefully grow fruit veg for the estate and teach the kids the soil has been delivered today and it's been a disaster start to finish apparently kids swearing wrecking stuff and he's hated it so much he wants to hand the keys back in :(

Came up on my fb memories today a message off mum saying she had tried on my prom dress as she might of got married in it but it didn't fit :(

This week has seemed difficult, lots on and lots of illness/bad moods

oh I'm sorry sm, some days are just like that aren't they and nothing works out right..thats so good of your dp to try something like that and its a shame its not went the way he thought it would.

for you xx

mummylin, sorry for my outburst at your sister, i was just mad on your behalf, hope I didnt upset you x

No you didn't upset me at all ssd ! ( I swear like a trouper ) just wished I had listened to my gut instinct in the first place.
SM sorry things aren't all going to plan. Who is it wrecking things, the kids from the estate you are trying to help ?

Sorry to hear your sister hasn't been keeping up the flowers ml it's disappointing knowing she hasn't. I'm on the opposite side as I haven't been up to mums in a while again and my nan is cross with me but i don't cope with it well and my anxiety has been knocking me off my stride lately, I have a garden for her at home with lights and ornaments which we can't leave at the actual grave but can tell my nan isn't happy with my not going. Yep the kids from our estate that the garden is on, throwing it round, throwing stuff at us and swearing at us, chucking lumps of rock at each other and walking off with every tool you put down. There's still some to he moved but dp has refused to go back today.

I wouldn't mind SM, but it was my sister who offered to take over the care with me in the first place. She said she would go every fortnight and I would go the next time, so basically we would both go once a month, she has been just once and now this, so I may as well just go back to going every fortnight myself. I did say to her that if there wasn't a time she couldn't go, to let me know and I will go, but she didn't and in fact forgot it all together ! Oh well I will see to it tomorrow, it must look awful as no- one has been now for 4 weeks, I am quite horrified by that.

Just printing order of service for the funeral on Monday, its all feeling very real and so worried that i'm going to get in trouble for it not being right with my sister :(

Huge hugs to you all. Sorry to hear about your sister mummylin, hopefully you'll be able to make it as you'd like on your next visit.

super that must be so frustrating as you're trying to do something nice, ive had similar with some of the work in schools.

You can't always please everyone eitak if your sister is worried that you won't do it right, she could of done it herself. I'm sure you will make a perfectly good job of it. I am glad that after waiting all this time that the day is nearly here. I am sure you will do your dad proud, I hope that everything goes as you would wish it to.
You will get extra strength on Monday from somewhere and you may even breathe a sigh of relief that this part at least will be over.
You will find it a comfort to chat with others after the funeral, this seems to help quite a lot.
Then after all is done. You have to take care of yourself and start living your "new" life.will be thinking of you

Hope you managed to get it done im sure it will be fine and if not try to as ml says to think you cant please everyone all of the time although easier said than done, im sure it will be fine. Hope the day goes as well as it can do for you.

That makes sense ML people saying they will do things and then not doing is a real bug of mine, i wouldnt mind so much if they had said they never intended too! havent been up to look at the garden today, cant bring myself to get abuse since its rained and all the kids have probably messed about it in it.

Have done everything I can, can't help feeling stressed and anxious thouh. Keepmworrying about work which is silly but think I'm deflecting.

Don't worry about work for now, just get through tomorrow, it's not
the best of days and the feeling beforehand is awful, but you will get through it ok.

SM and Ssd, I was gobsmacked to get to crem today to find it had been all done !! All the dead flowers removed etc with new flowers on both graves !! Have sent my sis a text saying it looks lovely ( presuming it's her ) and also saying anytime she can't go just tell me and I can do it.
So my dd came into some unexpected flowers today !

Thinking of you today eitak

Hello everyone.
I know I dont post much anymore but I often think of you all and wonder how you are doing.
I haven't read the thread, but welcome to any new posters, and I'm sorry you had to join our group
Well. It will be 3 years soon. 3 years. Seems unbelievable.
I have done a silly thing tonight....and I know only you guys will understand how utterly devastated it has left me....
Mum and dad would have been married for 45 years yesterday. I think it must have been in the back of my mind.
I phoned my dads old mobile number. I do this - albeit rarely - to hear his voice. It's no longer in service :( it's a work phone so I suppose it was going to happen eventually.
I've been sat sobbing for the last 20 mins.
Things are so hard ATM. Mum is as difficult as ever and her health is poor. Dh away again tomorrow. I've been ill for the whole of March, ds2 is ill and.....I want my dad.
My sister is away on holiday and my brother only ever phones me when he wants something.
I feel so very alone.

Today went really well. The service was lovely and the vicar spoke well. We ended up following coffin we werent wanting to do but it was ok in the end. Feeling shattered and head hurts so will be having an early night.

Hi badvoc lovely to see you. It must of been a very sad moment when you found your dads phone didn't work. I still have my mums and on New Year's Eve every year since she died I have sent a text to her phone, so yes I understand and your not alone with your phoning !
Sorry to see. That there are health probs in your family and that your mum is a bit difficult.. I can't believe it's nearly three years, I remember it so well. Then the ensuing prob with your mum on the same day. Where has all that time gone ? Hope you have a better day tomorrow, lovely to see you, take care of yourself.
eitak so glad that today went ok . Now it's over, it must of been very stressful having to wait so long for the funeral. I am attending a funeral today ( Tuesday ) but it's not a family member.
Hope everything was fine with your sister. Take it a bit easy for now and gradually things will improve for you.

Thank you
How are things with you?
My school are off to pils today and dh is off to Spain with work so I'm taking mum out
Don't really feel up to it but....
I'm working now! It's only 1.5 hours per day (I'm a lunchtime 1-1 for a child with additional needs) but it's something
I'm glad your sister did the flowers....we all sort of take it in turns but since mum got ill she doesn't go as often as she can't walk far
Wishing all those on this thread peace X

A year later, I'm back. My dad this time. I'm sat by his bedside in hospital, knowing that today is likely to be his last day. He's had a heart attack but has lots of other problems too. I saw things yesterday that I would never wish on anyone. My heart is broken.

Trucking...I'm so very sorry X
I knowing feelings of wanting to erase awful memories.
You are with him and I'm sure that is bringing him comfort and in time I'm sure will for you too X

Thank you. I appreciate your message. Whoever designed this life of giving us people we love and care for and then taking them off us has a sick sense of humour.

"Grief is the price we pay for love"
I wrote that in my dads eulogy and I believe it.
I will be thinking of you today X

Hello trucking I am so sorry you are in your awful situation. What a heartbreaking time this must be for you. I'm sure your dad will be comforted to know that you are with him at this sad time. I truly believe that such sick people can hear you and will just sense you there. I hope your dad will have a peaceful passing and that you find the strength to cope . Thinking of you.

Well I have just got home from a funeral and the heavens have just opened. Was a very nice service , non religious, no prayers. No hymns but lots of photos on a screen and videos. It was being relayed to Ireland where the person who died originated from many years ago. There was a little boy dressed as a leprechaun at the service, which I thought was quite sweet. A few people had come over from Ireland and I have to say it was lovely to hear them in conversation, I do love that accent !

He is still with me but he doesn't deserve this. He has motor neurone disease too and yet is the sweetest man who never complains and everyone adores. He feels like my child. I look after him and I want to keep him here with me and feel like screaming to the universe to leave him here with me and don't take him.

That is so sad Trucking. To have such an awful illness as well. Life is so unfair sometimes. I really feel for you going through this, do you have someone to support you ? You can't go through this on your own, it's almost too much to bear. Will you be staying with him tonight ?

I'm sleeping on the chair next to him. Just me here. Had my best mate here with me all day and visits from various people but here alone now. It feels like too much to bear. I watched his heart stop 2 days ago and the crash team rush in. I collapsed and got dragged out. Felt like I was in a surreal tv programme and that it couldn't be happening.

I can't imagine what it must of been like to witness this being done to your beloved dad. Heartbreaking for you. I'm sure it must all feel like you are living in a nightmare at the moment. I hope you have at least had a little break and had a snack, although you probably don't feel like it, but you need to look after yourself. Have you any siblings to help you through this ? You will be in my thoughts, I hope you will manage to get a little rest.