Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

Still can't believe it was a weeknagi, feels both less and longer. Today has been difficult and slept most or not. Work tomorrow and not surenhownit will go, I work for an church and so know tomorrow will be a lot of people asking how I am.

The time seems to go so quickly and then it's horrible because it makes you realise how long ago you last saw that person. How are things with your sister, any better.
It makes it worse for you as you have such a long wait until the funeral. I. Sure people will ask you tomorrow, but then again some people don't mention it at all as they don't know what to say, or font want to upset you anymore. You will be ok. It is surprising where our strength comes from at times like this.

Things are ok with my sister, ought to text her really. It's when people act surprised to see you and then you worry they are judging you for being back at work. couldnt agree more about strength, have no idea where's it's come from but it had :)

My friend came to work the same day that her dad had died a few hours earlier. That's what she wanted to do and did. She said it was a bit of normality at a bad time.

Thanks for the support mummy work went well on sunday and although i found Monday really difficult I have had couple of good days and felt productive and busy which helped. We're meeting with the vicar on Sunday to plan the funeral and pick flowers etc which i know will be difficult but will feel like we're getting closer to the funeral.

Thinking of you all

You are more than welcome eitak glad that you seem to be coping quite well. The vicar we wanted was actually on holiday so the chaplain of the hospital stepped in. When I opened my door to him I said " oh my god * he was about 6ft 10 and enormous. He had to stoop to get in and when he got off my couch, he first went down on his knees and stood up that way. He stood by me and although it was such a sad time, we all had a chuckle as I am only 5ft 2 !! Must of looked so funny.
And I will never forget. That whilst waiting to go into the church he looked across and gave me a little nod. He was so nice.
Hope you can get everything sorted on Sunday and you get what you want.

Mummylin seeing you on Zombie's thread reminded me how much I have been thinking about this one. A couple of weeks ago was 6 months since DDad died. I hate it, I just hate life without him. We need to go and inter his ashes this summer. I know I look like I am coping on the outside but I just miss him so much. He was my biggest fan. We always had these long rambling phone calls about anything and everything. He was the person who understood me best in the world, even better than DH, although I wouldn't tell DH that of course. I keep finding things I want to tell him, or show him.... There is this new beer ad that was filmed on a hockey rink on the roof of a skyscraper in Toronto and it was his old office building and he would have loved that. Gotten a huge kick out of it. And he will never know about it, I will never be able to tell him about it and laugh and discuss.

I used to think I believed in heaven. I am so jealous of people who can say "oh I still talk to my dad, he is watching over me, he knows what is happening blah blah blah" because to me he is just gone. And it sucks.

I think it gets harder, not easier.

Sorry everyone for such a downer of a post. I didn't realise I was feeling as bad as all that. I think I need an early night.

I understand hearts I am the same and its 4 yrs ago now. You know what they say, the price of love is grief . And this seems to be true. I too envy the people who after a while seem to get on with their lives, but maybe inside they don't.
For you hearts , it is still really only a short while ago, I think you have to get through at least the first year and all the firsts before the real gut wrenching grief leaves you.
Of course this dosent mean we instantly recover, I don't think you ever do really. How can we when life will never be the same ?
You have my utmost sympathy , I know how painful it all is. And every now and again something happens which sets you back again, a favourite song, something that you want to tell them, you forget and think " oh I'll just ring dad / mum " then it hits you again because you realise it's not possible.
There will always be a bit if our hearts that will remain just for the people we haven't got any more.
We can carry on with our lives, but it's not the same as before, but I think we owe it to them to do the best we can despite missing them so much.
It sucks hearts

no, it never goes away

Hope everyone is ok, only got my Ds for another week then they are all moving back into their own house at last.
Take care everyone.

hi mummylin, hope you had a nice weekend and hope their move goes well x

Echoing ssd hope the move goes well mummylin

I'm doing ok. Feeling stressed out about work as where my head has been all over the place i have left lots of things last minute. Taking a few days off before and after funeral but planning on keeping busy post funeral by meeting up with friends.

You still have a bit of a wait don't you eitak . It must be a very unsettling time for you.
I honestly wouldn't worry too much about work, you will catch up and I'm sure everyone understands that your head is all over the place at the moment. Is it the 4th for the funeral, I seem to have that date in my head.
Just take each day as it comes and don't worry about tomorrow , get through each day as it comes along.

To everyone on this thread who will be missing a loved one this Easter
[flower]

Oops

mummylin Funeral is a week tomorrow. Work has gone well and my boss has apologised for forgetting as i seem to be coping well. Everyone is being really lovely though and i survived my busy work week.

Not had too bad an Easter probably because due to uni/work i wasn't necessarily home with dad. My birthday is 2 weeks after funeral so planning to go away so i don't dwell.

Not too much longer to wait now then eitak it will probably be a bit of relief for you when it's over as you have had a long wait. I'm glad that you have been kept busy this past week, gave you something else to think about instead of your loss.
That will do you a lot of good to get away for a while, hopefully you will get to relax and get rid of some stress. Let's hope the weather isn't the same as it is tonight for you next week ! Take care, make sure you eat normally and get enough sleep. One day at a time is the mantra !

I too have a funeral to go to on 5th April. It's the mum of a friend of ours who committed suicide ten months ago. It's all very sad.

My Dad died on Friday.
I don't know how I should be feeling.
Mum has my brother back from States, so they've got each other ...
I feel selfish, like this is all my pain, but he was her husband and my brothers Dad.
Mum is clearing out his stuff already.

Hello broke , so sorry for your loss. There is no "right " way for you to feel. You feel as you feel. It's personal to everyone of us. This is all very new for you and we all cope in different ways. Hopefully you will all find some comfort from each other. What is it that is troubling you, do you think you have no right to feel upset ? Or do you feel that the others loss is more than your own, and that you will be left out as your brother and mum are so close ? You have as much to grieve as they do I would say. Do you have a good relationship with your brother ?

Hi ML

Thank You for your kind words. I never expected my Dad to go before Mum. It was all quite sudden. In a real horrid way I guess I'm angry at my Mum - even though it's not her fault at all in anyway. I just wished my Dad where here to help, whereas Mum and Bro have each other.
I don't think am coping as well as I thought I would.
Oh well...

Your not alone "broke there is usually someone to chat to on here Wether it's to have a rant or you feel upset.
It is a terrible shock , especially if a death is not expected. I know that feeling only too well. Just get through each day, hour by hour if that helps you to cope. Do look after yourself, don't skip meals, you will need all your strength for the next foreseeable weeks and maybe longer. Is there anyone in RL that you can turn to ? Anyone to give you the support you need ?

broke my dad died 3 weeks ago and I still don't know what to feel. Different people deal in different ways,my mum binned all the food and meds my dad hadspecially for him but can't bring herself tosort his shirts.

As mummlin said to me, take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself,treat yourself if you can whether a new DVD, or some nice bath stuff. I have been playing a lot of ps3 games and colouring as a distraction, a friend played angry birds when her mum died. We find our own ways to cope.

ssd guess what, my sister said to me tonight " when is it my turn to do the graves "? I told her it was nearly two weeks ago. I am so mad, she said she will go on Friday but I told her not to bother as I am going on Sunday. I guess I will take back doing them, I can't bear my mum not having fresh flowers, and for the first time, she hasn't got any, because my sister " forgot " !