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Bereavement

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Original poster

DH is dying

764 replies

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 03:11

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

OP posts:
ninetynineonehundred · 14/02/2015 07:51

Op I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. It must feel unbearable and very surreal at the moment.
Thinking of you Flowers

frumpet · 14/02/2015 07:51

Oh calculators I am so sorry to hear you and your family are going through this Flowers

VivaLeBeaver · 14/02/2015 07:54

I'm so sorry. Flowers

MoustacheofRonSwanson · 14/02/2015 07:55

I am so sorry to hear that Flowers Brew

SoupDragon · 14/02/2015 07:58

So sorry to hear this.

ourglass · 14/02/2015 07:59
Flowers
DoItTooJulia · 14/02/2015 08:02

I know the feeling of how am I going to live the rest of my life, it's panicky and claustrophobic.

I hope you're doing ok. Lots of love to you.

ArcheryAnnie · 14/02/2015 08:02

calculators I am so sorry to hear this.

And treasure all your "DH is so annoying" threads - in time they will be part of the record of the life you and DH had together.

Thanks
Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 08:03

thank you for all of your kind words

OP posts:
MyGastIsTinselled · 14/02/2015 08:05

So sorry to hear this, it must have been a terrible shock.

I don't think you can think too much about 'the rest of your life' right now, try to take each minute/hour/day at a time. I know it's easier said than done & I wish I could offer better advice or words of comfort than this.

Will be thinking of you today OP.

annabanana19 · 14/02/2015 08:06

So sorry to read this xxx Flowers

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 14/02/2015 08:07

Oh calculators I'm so very sorry to hear this. I will be thinking of you, and sending hugs and strength.

I echo what others said about those you love winding you up, don't think about that now. I bet you wound him up, but you love one another, and that's what counts.

Edenviolet · 14/02/2015 08:11

Both my DM and Dgm had brain haemorrhages in December. DM was serious and we were warned she would probably not survive the night. She did and so they performed surgery the following day. She was ok.
Dgm was worse and immediately we were told she would def not be able to survive and it was heartbreaking. Nobody got there quick enough to be with her either so it was dreadfully sad.

Flowers for you OP. You will be in my thoughts x

Armi · 14/02/2015 08:21

Thinking of you. X

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 14/02/2015 08:21

Calculators, I'm so sorry to read this. Comforting words seem hollow but I agree wholeheartedly with those who say that being irritated by your partner occasionally is part of the rich tapestry of a long term relationship and not a negative thing. Working through the hard bits and living with each other's foibles are as much a part of the love as the hearts and flowers stuff.

[hugs] to you

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 14/02/2015 08:24

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you xxx

Justyouwaitandsee · 14/02/2015 08:24

If you can think about the main things you want to tell him. Perhaps play some of his favourite music, put on some perfume if he has a favourite or one he has bought for you. Even if he isn't conscious there is a chance that other senses are still working and it is a way to let him know you are close. Take things at your own pace, see if the nurses/doctors will waive the usual 'visiting times', think about who your DH would want to visit, and don't worry about saying no if there are certain people who you feel won't help him to see. Sending love Flowers

PsammeadPaintedTheLion · 14/02/2015 08:26

I hope you managed get a little more sleep.

I can't imagine what you are going through.

I am so sorry.

TweenageAngst · 14/02/2015 08:27

Thinking of you and your children today.

HoraceCope · 14/02/2015 08:30
Thanks
whattodoowiththeleftoverturkey · 14/02/2015 08:30

I don't know what to say, other than that i can't imagine how hard this must be for you and your family.
I'm thinking of you Flowers

Irelephant · 14/02/2015 08:31

I'm so so sorry wheredo there's just no words.

Will be thinking of you Flowers

ShellyF · 14/02/2015 08:31

Sorry that you and your family are experiencing thisSadFlowers

Nonie241419 · 14/02/2015 08:35

I'm so sorry Sad

Micah · 14/02/2015 08:37

So sorry.

Has anyone mentioned organ donation? you might need to bring it up if that's what you want to happen.