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Original poster

DH is dying

764 replies

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 03:11

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

OP posts:
Makeup822 · 14/02/2015 06:52

Oh dear! It must be so hard for you, death is difficult at the best of times but when its sudden its really hard. You are in my thoughts, l hope that these messages help you to realise you are not alone. Lots of hugs to you.

Unescorted · 14/02/2015 06:55

Where I am so sorry to hear this. I am about early doors at the weekends to "talk".

I am sure your colleagues will be supportive - let them know you need help to get through. I know mine would be more than happy to step in if they knew one of us needed a shoulder or practical help.

TheRealNightsWatch · 14/02/2015 06:59

I am so terribly sorry about your husband. I can't even imagine how you must feel just now.

We are always here though and I know it won't change things but I, and I'm sure thousands of other mumsnetters, genuinely care about you and will try and help you through this awful time. Flowers

CiderwithBuda · 14/02/2015 07:03

I am so sorry. Mumsnet is great at times like this as there is always someone around so don't ever be afraid to post. And please don't worry about the "DH is annoying" threads. It's human nature to moan about each other no matter how much we love each other.

KittiesInsane · 14/02/2015 07:06

Of course he's annoying. So are my children. There are very few people I love who don't drive me mad sometimes.

Babyh200 · 14/02/2015 07:06

Thinking of you...so very sorry. Life is terribly cruel at times, sending you strength for the days ahead.

PerpendicularVincenzo · 14/02/2015 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pannetone · 14/02/2015 07:08

What shocking news. Saying a prayer for you all (hope that's ok)

GettingFiggyWithIt · 14/02/2015 07:08

Hello calculatorsFlowers You must be reeling. A huge hug to you. I am so so sorry love. It is both awful and unfair.
I don't know how you get through the time ahead, i guess an hour at a time is all you can possibly do as it will all be a daze. I have no idea how to begin the rest of my life if about to lose my best friend ( who I could also write many critical threads about so don't worry about that) i guess I would want to spend whatever time you have left saying my goodbyes, helping my babies say their goodbyes, making sure he was comfortable and then making decisions about organs etc (as i know my partner's wishes on that score) but I would be angry having to do all that when it is so bloody unfair and I am very sad that you are having to go through this, I really am. All you can do is what you are doing sweetheart, and as for long term all I can suggest is reaching out to organisations like cruse as well as the bereavement board on here of course, there was an article in the guardian this week about a book called tips from widows written by a woman who was completely blindsided by her grief. It might be something that could help in some way in the near future. I hope that is not insensitive to say, I just wanted to add something tangible as for the present, it is a case of getting through a bit at a time and processing later, hopefully someone at the hospital can help guide you and your children through the next few days but please come back here when you need to, lots of us are up at all hours to offer at least a hand to hold. Xx

Batbear · 14/02/2015 07:09

What a horrible shock. I am sorry you are having to go through this. You'll be in my thoughts today

Mcyorkshire1 · 14/02/2015 07:11

OP, I'm so sorry to read about your DH. You must be devastated and completely in shock at the moment. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly 6 months ago so have some idea of what you are going through. Please feel free to pm me if you need to chat or need any practical advice over the coming weeks. Take each day as it comes and please be kind to yourself x

MrsPurchase · 14/02/2015 07:14

No words, really, other than to say my thoughts are with you
Flowers

confusedandemployed · 14/02/2015 07:17

I'm so very sorry that you find yourself in this situation calculators
Lots of people have given excellent advice which there is no need for me to repeat.
I will be thinking of you today Flowers

cleanmachine · 14/02/2015 07:19

Oh calculators I'm so sorry. If you're up north you can pm me and I'd be happy to come and sit with you and hand hold.

Tournesol · 14/02/2015 07:20

I'm so sorry, wishing you a lot of strength.

leemur · 14/02/2015 07:20

So sorry to hear this. Wishing you all the strength. Flowers

PunkrockerGirl · 14/02/2015 07:22

I'm so, so sorry to hear this. Sending you thoughts and prayers Flowers

LottieMumofWilfJenkins · 14/02/2015 07:23

I am so sorry...... Sending love, hugs and prayers for you all............

ajandjjmum · 14/02/2015 07:23

That's awful - I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Bollard · 14/02/2015 07:30

So sorry

MistyMistletoe · 14/02/2015 07:31

I am so so sorry to hear of your devastating news Calculator' Flowers

Sending hugs xx

Pavlova31 · 14/02/2015 07:33

My thoughts are with you .

Eminado · 14/02/2015 07:37

I am so sorry.

regularbutpanickingabit · 14/02/2015 07:39

I am so sorry.

HotSquashedBun · 14/02/2015 07:47

What a shock for you op, my thoughts are with you.