Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again, yet another thread. I am worried about the big tree by my mums grave. I would be horrified if mums stone was smashed, and my sisters too come to that as they are side by side.

I'd like to see a pic, we have just agreed to oversee and maintain a community garden on our estate that's really run down and needs doing up, we live in a pretty skint area the idea is to grow fruit and veg for the residents.

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What a fab idea. So lots of people would benefit. How many hours will you have to do ? My mum used to gave a huge allotment well into her seventies, have no idea how she did it all, but she loved it. I didn't when she was away and I had to water it all by watering can ! Mum used to grow beet root, which my dh loved. She spoilt him every year, now he has to put up with it from the shop. My brother still has a jar that mum made. I don't think he will ever open it though. And I still have some runner beans she gave me a few days before she died, not even cut, just whole beans. I froze them so I could keep them !

ah I can see why you did that don't think I could bring myself to eat them or throw them away. I like beetroot too its nice being able to pass things on to family like we do so looking forward to it, hopefully a couple of hours a week bit nervy though as the ha are putting a lot in to getting it use able again as it's in a state so just hope the estate takes use of it

Mummylin, halflin, and chicken thanks for the welcome! I haven't posted for a couple of days- been at work- but Thanks! My mum died in September, and my sister died in April.

sheep I really really feel for you at the moment - it can be difficult to know whether you are coming or going. one thing that I always keep in mind is to try not to second guess your grief.

Like - I feel like this today,_ I thought I would be feeling like 'x' instead, when will I start to feel 'Y' - I can't cry - I'm crying too much - it hasn't sunk in yet - is it going to bite me on the arse -is this normal? am I coping? am I coping too well?

maybe it's just me, but I struggled with not knowing what was 'normal' and feeling like I should be feeling differently at certain points.

It is what it is - it can vary from hour to hour to day to week, and you just have to go with it.

I am so sorry for your loss xxx

And although you have to go with it - you don't have to go with it alone x

Thank you all.

You sum it up well knackered. I have no idea how I should be feeling. I look at those around me and realise we're all coping completely differently and that there is no normal but I feel really detached but I guess that's a natural coping mechanism. We're making funeral arrangements today. We went and chose flowers yesterday for something to do.

Thank you again x

mummylin your garden looks really lovely! wish you could come and sort mine out, my mum had green fingers but sadly I didnt inherit them.

knackered, I'm glad you posted here, I'm sure you'll keep coming back like most of us do.

for all of us here xx

your garden looks a very relaxing place to be and colourful too. I am not green fingered either I help dp when he asks and like to be out there but couldn't grow things the way he does

That is just part of my garden, the end nearer to my house is lawn and a patio area where we have our table and chairs. I have more pots dotted about there too. I'm afraid I fill every pot available !
Hope everyone is ok and sending strength to the newest posters as they go through this horribly sad time.

Two more of the other end

lovely!

Just checking in to say hello. Hope everyone is doing ok. I've been kept busy hence the radio silence! My little man is 5 weeks old today and he's so lovely. Mum.is here helping me at the moment and got teary this am saying she's sad for everything dad is missing out on.
I find myself constantly staring at the pics of my dad in the living room and wishing he was here in the flesh enjoying his new grandson. Going to be 6 months since he passed away soon. I just can't believe it's been that long.
I haven't caught up on all the posts but hope that everyone is getting on as beat they can. Xx

Hi starfish, I can't believe he's 5 weeks old already !!! I was dreading the 6 month mark too, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be x

2 years today dad.
Miss you so much x

Where has the last two years gone badvoc ( sorry ) what a terrible time that was for you Especially your mum taken ill the same evening. The people who got married that day will surely have thoughts of your dad in their hearts.

I remember so well sitting on the sofa and typing my first post and your lovely reply, Lin.
I just still can't believe he is gone.
What a kind and gentle man he was.

that has gone so fast but I bet so slow too in some respects b, thinking of you tonight and hoping you are doing okay. I've found such friendship on here, don't know what I'd of done without it

Hello sm
I think of you every Xmas when I jut my little robin on my tree ????
This read was such a lifeline for me in the early days (and since)
It's been a strange day, really.
We took some flowers to the cemetery, and then took the boys out for lunch.
I went down to see mum for an hour earlier too (my siblings are both away)
I have lit my candle, and am thinking of him and trying to smile through the pain.

ah I have my little Robin somewhere with my decorations too, I like to be associated with Christmas it's my favourite time, was mums too. I shall raise my cup and light my candle in memory of your dad later. it says love like starlight never dies on it and is only lit on special days and anniversaries, I am sure he would be very proud of you all. hope the visit wasn't too hard on you and your mum too. ds birthday in two weeks he will be 8,time is sure flying by without them

Oh sm...my ds2 brought that book home from school the other day...I was in pieces reading it :( but yes, love never dies.
Thank you for your kind words.
I know that so many people loved dad, and so many people miss him.
It helps in a way to know we aren't alone in our pain.
My youngest is 7 soon so I know what you mean...he has missed so much :(
mums seems ok. She is just back from a holiday with my brother and his family.
hope everyone else is ok...T, and all the newcomers.
Love to all x

I too have my little robin, it is another thing that forms our friendships together . Hope the day hasn't been too awful for you Badvoc.
SM, can't believe your ds will be 8 ! How the time has flown by for all of us.

post 1000 from me !!! Sorry everyone I couldn't resist x