Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again, yet another thread. I am worried about the big tree by my mums grave. I would be horrified if mums stone was smashed, and my sisters too come to that as they are side by side.

I'm good thanks mummylin, I've got so much going on at the moment, with the end of term coming up, kids, friends & the new bloke (it's still going well ) I've had a few moments where I just randomly think of something to do with my dad & have a little cry .... I think I need a bloody good cry soon I'm due on in a few days so no doubt that'll be the trigger for my tears x

Hello, Lin.
How are you?
It's been a funny couple of weeks...it would have been dads b day last Tuesday and mum and I took some flowers to the cemetery but my siblings were working, so we decided to go out. It helped to pass what was a difficult day.
It's this month I'm dreading tbh. It will be 2 years on 27th. 2 years!
We are off on our hols on Saturday.
Fingers x for good weather!

Can't believe it's two years Badvoc I can recall you posting that day so clearly and I remember how awful it was that your poor mum was taken ill too.
Where are you off to on your holidays ? I hope you will have a great time and the weather is good !

We are of to Northumberland!
It's,odd because we stayed there 2 weeks before dad died and it's been our best holding to date.
We are staying at the same place, but in a bigger cottage as pils are coming with us this time.
Mum is very down health wise she is fine but she is struggling without him.
My sister now works 20 hours per week so very rarely goes (well, she rarely went before!) my brother does phone her everyday but also only goes when it suits him (although there are always exceptions made for golden boy)
I took her shopping today and she just looked so forlorn.
I asked what was wrong.
She said "it will be so quiet when you are away"

A good friend from church has been taking her out and I am so grateful. It gives me a break.
I miss him.
I just bloody miss him.

Sounds like you do more than your share regarding your mum, but I suppose that is why she will be miserable without you around, but you deserve a break , it hasn't been easy has it in the last two years, not just your dad but everything else ill health. Kids ill , more bereavements. You go and have a good break Badvoc and recharge your batteries.

hope you enjoy your hols b you deserve it. must be hard worrying about her but as linn says you need time for your family too.

not sure what I will do about the inquest. I would like to read it but keep hitting stumbling blocks. not sure it would help either.

Thank you x

hey all how is everyone?

struggling a bit this last few weeks school ends soon and I love the summer hols but since mum has gone they seem to stretch on forever and financially things are pretty shot so I'm struggling to plan for the hols.
it feels a bit like things are passing us by, people always ask me why we don't have any dc together and I make every excuse under the sun but to be honest there's no way we could afford it even if we decided too or find the space at all.
my grandfather hasn't been too good lately and I keep thinking if I don't get married soon he won't be there to see it. everything seems to be about money lately.
we had something really helps us out last few weeks that was a huge shock, I honestly don't know how we would of managed without it but I feel so pathetic for constantly being skint.

nans birthday this week no card from her dd with lots of reasons why she hasn't. Nan still won't speak to her properly but then gets upset when she doesn't send for occasions. I could do with a week abroad! haha.

sorry to be such a moan arse tonight. what have you all been up too? hope you have a great time b if you have already gone.

Hi SM do they do anything where you live for the kids for free ? In our town during the summer holidays they have all sorts of stuff everyday in the gardens for free. Disco,s , magic shows , games etc and it's for young kids. Have a look through your local paper for anything free or see if there are any money off coupons fir something, other than that, make up a picnic if it's a nice day and just go off on a bus ride. It's better than nothing. I know other places are so expensive, and when your on a budget it's impossible to do things.
I guess you never found out what had happened to your wedding dress ?
Is there any work you could do at home ?
It us soul destroying when you are worrying about finance, hope things can change for you soon x

They do and I volunteer for the charity who does so usually know about most of the available stuff think I just feel a bit down on it when all their friends are jetting off abroad and doing all sorts. nope never heard anything back from him about the dress,have come to accept it's long gone. am still looking but nothing really suits around dp hours and the lack of childcare everything seems to make us worse off when we factor in what we will lose. doing odd bits though so that's good, keeps my brain moving along with the volunteering. ds birthday in august but hes mostly sorted as ive been buying things when on sale and got an epic bargain on some things he collects.what have you been up too?
was so cross with my aunt about the lack of birthday card and was ranting to dp about how I'd do anything to have my mum back as many of us on here would but then I considered how I would feel if my own mum wouldn't talk to me because something had happened to my sister, it's all a mess really. I am considering asking dp for one of those lamps you told me about for my birthday

sm, what age is your ds? I've got some size 3 or 4 boys VANS shoes they all seem to like and some NIKE trainers you could have if they'd fit? Also loads of addidas/nike clothes that would fit him if he's about 10ish? let me know if they're any good, you'd be most welcome to them..what does he collect, sounds intriguing! its so hard when money is short, I know it well!.

its so nice to see the familiar names still here, time is moving on but it really helps being able to come back here and catch up with old friends! my situation is still the same, job is crap, siblings might as well be on the moon , but dh and the kids are fine so thats all that matters.

thinking of you all xx

ah ssd you've tipped me over the edge tonight thanks for being kind to me don't worry they don't go without bless them I wouldn't let them would just be nice to not have to juggle so much! ds is 8 soon and he is into wrestling and collects figures especially the older ones, it's been a pretty long interest so I'm pretty confident it'll last haha. glad that dh and the kids are good, how is the trouble at work?

ahhh! work is totally crap, but nothing new there!! I remember my ds was into WWE wrestling, he had the figures and the belt, he loved it all! Is that what your ds likes too, its really popular with the boys that age!

its a shame my ds's stuff wont fit him, its just lying there with no home to go to...

I know the money worries too well too

we should start our own company sure we could figure something out

Supermario, I know how you feel about the kids/money/summer hols I'm trying not to worry about money, this time last year I had something booked for almost every week in the hols, not expensive just memorable days out, but I can't get my brain in gear this year I've got secondary uniform to buy, child maintenance has gone down (ex is fiddling his books) & we had a weekend away in April ... that was my first & likely only holiday with the kids in about 3-4 yrs I need someone rich to take pity on us & treat us to a holiday x

haha it could happen noodle. know what you mean though the hols seem to stretch on don't they if you don't have plans. hopefully like mummylin says we can keep busy with activities swimming and things it's tough the first long holiday. we used to spend much of summer at mums with her it's three years on and still strange so can only imagine why it feels like a mammoth task to you. secondary uniform is horrendously expensive isn't it the only saving grace I've found is that it lasts longer than primary. apart from the shoes unless it's just my children that maim shoes beyond use how are you doing?

I never spent a lot of the holidays with my dad, but the last 2 summers we spent at least one day a week with/looking after my dad, it does feel weird one of my kids ruins his shoes, last year I splashed out on dm shoes because his feet can't get any bigger now (I hope, he's a size 12) & I was fed up with buying new shoes every term, my youngest ... he's already in men's size clothes & shoes !!! But he's good at looking after his stuff so it should all last until he grows out of it all I'd like to do simple things like take mine fishing but with 4 kids, pretty much everything ends up costing an arm & a leg x

here you are SM

This is the one I have myself, the other shaped one is one I bought for a present, have a look on the site, I love mine !

Quick question- I finally managed to write letters to various family friends telling them about my Dad. I've had some lovely replies, all saying what a lovely kind man he was. I'd like to send little thank you notes back. What do you think?

I think if you feel up to it that would be a nice thing for the people who shared their memories and thoughts to know that they helped and comforted you and that their friendship to your dad was appreciated. don't feel that you have too though.

They do look v nice mummylin
, calming. we don't have a lot of plugs will have to have a think where it could go

When they are switched on SM the salt is meant to release something into the air which is good for you. I have mine on a coffee table by my armchair and I often r put my cuppa too close to it and then of course I get the taste of the salt on my cup !
Hope you are coping as well as can be expected .

haha I don't fancy salty coffee not too bad. how are you

Bit fed up at the moment, had a text from my cousin to say my aunty been taken to hospital with bowel blockage. She has a colostomy because she had bowel cancer. Normally hospital clears it and she comes home in a day or too, this time she apparently is on morphine and they are talking about giving her a ct scan and maybe a small op. I am praying nothing has come back. This is my mums sister and the last relative who has known me since birth. I would be devastated if anything happened to her too. I will go and visit her tomorrow eve.

Oh Ml, your poor aunt, what a worry for her and for you too. i hope as you say that it sortable with a small op and she is as comfortable as she can be being in hospital is rotten. I am sure she will love to see you