Support for Anyone Who Has Lost A Parent,Everyone Welcome ( 6 )

[mummylin2495]

I can't believe we are now on another thread, where has all the time gone ?

Not posted much because my iPad was nearly out of battery and my charger broke. Ok again , got a new one, will read back now

badvoc how upsetting that is, we had one little thing broken by the graveyard mowers too.but I have to say on the whole they do a very good job, but it is upsetting when things get broken. We have a lovely area for children's graves and unlike some places, the parents are allowed to put toys, balloons , windmills and lots of things for their children . I don't understand how some councils always try and veto things like this. Makes me cross, it's not hurting anyone and I'm sure that it brings the parents a little bit of comfort to be able to put these things there

hi all, I'm back. we had a great time but now all I feel is sad that I can't tell my mum about it.

this just doesnt get easier, does it

Hi ssd I was wondering when you got back. My brother and sis in law there at the moment.
Soooo neucamp ? Were they all thrilled ? And mainly have you had a good time ?

they loved the nou camp! yes we all had a great time and didnt want to come home! its so nice to be on holiday, isnt it! we hadnt been away in years....are you going anywhere mummlyin? x

Not planning anything at the moment, but that is not to say we won't go somewhere. Glad you enjoyed it its raining there today , my brother text and said they were both soaked as they didnt take their macs ! Said the miners were just setting up again on the rambles as rain was stopping a bit.

we got a bit of rain a couple of mornings but it soon brightened up x

Hello everyone. Hope you are all progressing on with your lives now. Well we have no choice do we ? It's struggle at times and will never leave us, but things do improve a bit after a while. Not that we will ever stop missing our loved ones. Take care everyone

Hi mummylin, how are you? I posted earlier in this thread but have name-changed due to a RL link elsewhere on the forum.

Something I am struggling with is happiness - I have had a hard time, losing my dad in May and also coming to terms with a couple of things from years ago which strangely the loss of my dad has allowed the wound to reopen and thus to heal a bit I suppose.

I am happy-ish, certainly I am cautiously optimistic about the future.

This makes me feel so guilty. I just had a walk around the woods my parents took us all the time as young children and I was smiling at some birds singing and then I realised my dad will not hear birdsong again and I just crumpled. I feel happy, guilty for feeling happy, then silly - my dad would be delighted for me, as would my mum.

I too have found it very hard to be happy as I used to be, there is something that has gone from me forever I think. Although in certain ways I have moved on, it's never the same. I miss my mum and still find it hard to believe she isn't here.
Like you I think " oh mum can't see that now " and that makes me feel so sad.
But I suppose we have to go forward as best as we can, but not to a life that we had before. It's almost like two separate lives before / and after. I know which one i preferred. Take care
Sorry that RL meant you had to name change cause now I don't know who you are !

I agree mummylin, it is totally like two separate lives. I'm almost okay with mum dying, my mum was a good age and she was ready to go, I see that now. I can accept she's not here because I feel she's telling me "I had my time, this is yours now". I feel so aware you only get one life now and the time is precious. As I've said before here its the unexpected things that really knock me. I'm okay on mothers day, but coming back my holidays I ache to see her and tell her how it went, just to touch base really. My base has gone and I'm feeling floorless. What I really miss more than anything is having someone in my life who really cares for me and my family, mum was the only person who did this, we havent got any other relatives who care. I long to be mothered, for years before mum died I was mothering her, and I've missed that for so long. I see it all around me, my cousins who are older than me still have fit healthy mums who mother them, my friends and neighbours have it and it cuts me to the quick. My mum stared getting old years ago and we switched roles way back. I grieved for her when she was still here, but nothing like how I feel now. I'm aware I have to go it alone, although of course I have dh and the dc's and I love them all, but my family has gone without mum here. I keep away from so many people as I just cant stand seeing what they have when I dont, it just feels too raw.
The world seems full of people who still have parents, but of course its not like that at all. Without this thread I think I'd be in a padded room by now!!!

Hi everyone!

Mummylin you talk a lot of sense and hit the nail right on the head! I just can't think about what I've lost and my mum not here. I carry on with her I know watching over and guiding me but a light on my life has gone and she was that light.
Hope you and your family are well x

Ssd - glad you had a lovely holiday Hun I'm sure they popped in to see you guys after what we know x
I know what you mean though it is hard as you do want to tell them everything it must be double hard for you.
Xx

We're off to a psychic/ medium again Saturday. I'll report
back, and let u know if I get anything significant.

Hi to everyone on the thread biscuits, sm badvoc etc
Btw I'm intrigued who is the name change xx

Totally know what you mean ssd it's a killer isn't it. Yes I unfortunately have had to accept that my mum died but I hate it and I just can't bear it and I just can't think of it. I will always have the spiritual belief which helps somewhat when I get comforting messages signs but some days it's not enough and I hate the thought she's around me but I just want to bloody see her!!!

I miss her madly!! But I still do things we did and talk to her ( few faces in shops look at me but hey ho) [ smile]

Big ol hugs to us all. We are your family ssd and care about you loads, xxx

hi t! whilst on holiday, I was of course thinking a lot about my mum, well one day I decided to walk down the back stairs to the ground floor of the hotel instead of taking the lift, I was alone, as I was walking down I found a single little white feather just lying on the landing, waiting for me...I knew mum was with us xx

hugs to you too, I havent seen a spiritualist yet, I think I'm too scared they dont get anything for me! Are you going to the same place as before? How is your dad doing now x

Hi my lovely! Ah that's great you got a sign I truly feel it was for you too yes we're going same place ( had to save lol) but seeing a different woman. My dads not too bad in and out with his emotions. He will always be devoted. I think he just feels like he exists. But he gets on as like know we have too trying to enjoy and look forward and ahead otherwise we go down the pan. Thanks for asking xx

How is work? And family situation any better? Mines same olddddd but it's ok I'm just settled with this fact xx

I would urge people to be careful of mediums/psychics, though.

I saw one in the very early days of losing my dad, and I soon realised he wasn't genuine but once I did I was able to see how he tricked people. It was clever and subtle, but ultimately unpleasant.

Mummylin - lost both parents, most recently Dad in May while he was on holiday xx

work still s**t! family situation still the same....hugs for your dad t xx

I know some mediums and psychics are not genuine, but I've heard so many stories of good ones I still believe some have powers...though I know maybe this is just to give me comfort, I don't really know....

I hope you get something positive t875, I'd really like to know for sure! x

Yeah same ssd I have heard of charlatans. But I have to say where I went she was amazing and even got my mums name and believe me it wasn't a common name. She knew nothing about us. She said about two initials which we're worked out to be a very close friend of the family who was like a brother to my dad we got a lot that blew us away
But I am very aware they aren't all good and will fleece you or fish for information.

Sorry works crap ssd. Do feel for you! You deserve better!!
I'll let you know how Saturday goes xx

hi all nice to see some comforting things, I'm up against it at the minute it's really bugging me, home is good though! how is everyone

What's bugging you sm? Can you say on here? Hope your ok Hun xx

my mum had a bungalow that her husband still lives in, a council bungalow. the council phoned me asking to speak about it and I obviously said they would need to speak to husband. they were really shitty with me about how they have been trying to but he never responds and I ended up putting phone down! I've tried ringing him loads over two days but he never answers, family all saying it's not my problem to get hold of him but I feel like I'm letting mum down if I don't make an effort with him. she always worried once she wasn't here he would go back to being on his own and she didn't want us all to lose touch but seems there's nothing I can do to stop it. dp being a misery arse too. how's things with you

out of the mouth of babes......my 6 year old Grandson is here today. He asked me about Pop (his name for his Great grandad - my Dad) 'What was wrong with Pop, 'Andma?' I just said 'he had an infection in his mouth sweetheart.'

'IF my Daddy died 'Andma I wouldn't know what to do. I think I would want to be with him.'

oh shabbs, it's heartbreaking isn't it and so hard to hear. bless him he sounds lovely

god shabbs, your grandson has it spot on! funny how a 6 yr old gets it and most of the adults I know havent a clue how it feels.

super, that sounds so hard, but you can only do so much xx

do you know, I keep reading that grief gets better over time. I thought I was starting to get better, slowly, but now feels like I'm back to feeling sad and near tears all the time. This holiday has done me in, not having mum to leave and come back to. And every bloody where I go I see friends my age with their mums, all walking along like its the most natural thing in the world. I havent gone a walk with mum in about ten years. Its not fair. I was born too late, I dont fit in anywhere. My cousins are 74 and 76 for christ sake, their daughters are older than me! I have aunts and uncles who died long before I was born. My nieces are closer in age to me than my sister. My dad would have been 92 if he was still alive! I just dont fit in anywhere on the scale of a normal family, my dad died when ds was a baby yet he spent loads of time with my neices who all remember him. Mum was in a wheelchair when other mums were skipping about and being gran. Its just not fair.I just feel so isolated in my family and in my life from everyone and everything, like I'm in a bubble and everyone else isnt. Maybe I'm just nuts.
sorry but have nowhere else to put my feelings on this.