Support for Anyone Who Has Lost A Parent,Everyone Welcome ( 6 )

[mummylin2495]

I can't believe we are now on another thread, where has all the time gone ?

[ssd]

I'm getting very bitter, I need to catch myself on, have just seen a thread asking for advice about taking kids aged 10 and 13 to their grans funeral, their first funeral, I almost posted your lucky my ds1 had been to 4 funerals by the age of 14, thank god I never, but god it all hurts so much

I hate being a bitter person, but thats how I'd describe myself.

[mummylin2495]

It's only because of the way that others have treated you ssd at the worst time of your life. It's no wonder you feel like you do, but you need to direct your anger closer to home. They have done this to you, they are the cause of your hurt

[ssd]

I know mummylin and I feel so powerless. Its all passed them by and they would never believe I've been so let down by them. I'll tell them one day, if I ever see them again. Any conversations I have with them is just superficial, the kids, the weather, nothing deep, nothing about mum or how I feel. I dont get it at all. They miss nothing of mum and dad.

[mummylin2495]

It's all very strange isn't it ssd they are fine and you are still grieving so much. But then you also had to clear the house didnt you with no offers of help at all. I really don't know what the answer is, but I expect one day you will see red and tell them exactly what you think and how much they have upset you. Maybe they really haven't given it any thought and think you are fine. Or maybe this is what they prefer to think.
How were you and your siblings before you lost your dear mum ?

[curiousgeorgie]

My best friend of 20 years lost her mum yesterday morning. I've never seen someone in so much pain, I spent the day and evening with her yesterday just holding her hand while she cried.

She's so sad, lost, guilty and confused.

I don't even really know why I'm posting except to say that her mum was truly and wonderful person.

My BF keeps asking me questions like 'What am I going to do?' 'How can I have a life, get married or ever have a baby without my mum?' 'How can I live when I just miss her so much, and I'll miss her everyday?'

I've never really lost someone. I still have my parents and grandparents. I feel so incredibly useless when I try and console her.

And then there's just the logistics. She wants to close her mums Facebook so nobody can write on there, but doesn't have a password. So many other things.

Life really is so unfair.

[mummylin2495]

Deepest sympathy to your friend. She willbe in extreme pain with a mixture of shock. There isn't really anything that people can do but be there for her when she needs a hug, or wants to talk etc. it's a very sad time for her. Mums are so very special aren't they. You sound like a good friend.

[inabranstonpickle]

It gets easier; and at the moment, that both reassures me and frightens me.

[mummylin2495]

You will find that the days between you being a sobbing wreck get longer in between branston that is not to say that now and again it won't creep up on you when you least expect it. Eventually I suppose we all have to accept we can't change anything whilst wishing we could. I have no idea how long this will take . I have not accepted it after 2 1/2 years !

[inabranstonpickle]

To be honest I haven't really been a sobbing wreck since the first week, at least - it's just sometimes I do feel so sad.

I miss him. I WANT to miss him. But I suppose what I mean is that I know my life will move on to the point where I no longer miss him; I dread that

[mummylin2495]

I think we will always miss the ones we have lost, but we will be able to think of them with happier memories eventually. I am scared of forgetting my mums voice, but I actually do have videos with my mum in, but I'm too scared to play them. I'm afraid I will be broken hearted all over again. But one day I will go through them. Just not yet!

[t875]

I watched video of my mum over and over when I lost her but that helped me. Killed - but helped me. My dad and brother and my dad couldn't.

Branston you won't ever not move on to an extent of not missing your dad. Yes the gaps get a little bigger but there will always be that feeling on and off. But for me I think about my mum and do special things in her memory and we talk about her. And I can smile and laugh about memories of her and what we done together! The pain does get a little easier but it can also hit me like a brick and kill me over when I think of her gone although I like to believe she is around me can't think of her gone it obliterates me.

Hug for you branston! Xx

[t875]

Not sure why I put my dad twice!! Blooming phone!!

[t875]

ssd grief can make you bitter we cant help feeling the way we do at times, i have had my fair share of bitterness and it still creeps up now, you are not on your own hun //hugs xx

[t875]

Curiousgeorgie I'm so sorry for your friends loss. The pain is unbearable I and other know well how it feels to not only lose someone but suddenly is harrowing and shocking I know was for me.

You sound what you are doing is all you can do. Be there with messages in between times.
Thought with you and her come here anytime. Take care x

[t875]

To add you sound a very great friend to her. X

[ssd]

thanks t875, and mummylin

I'm just a bitter twisted person just now, but I hide it well

its just life, its hard going sometimes xx

[mummylin2495]

No your not ssd it's just that you have had a massive let down from people who should of been there for you and weren't. I think we would all feel the same in your position.
Going over the crem this evening to take new flowers, they stay open till 8 in the summer months which is quite handy.

[supermariossister]

hi all how are you? I'm struggling at the minute with my foot it's so sore! dp tells me I've been wearing shoes that are too flat but I've tried everything and it just won't go I'm hobbling about, was crying today every time I put my heel on the floor, what the hell can I do? strange question I know!

[mummylin2495]

Get it checked out SM . There is a complaint called spur heel, not sure what it is but you never know ! My mum used to have something in the back of her shoe for something or other.

[supermariossister]

just posted in chat and it sounds like the thing they are suggesting. . so sore tonight I am tempted to go to sleep so it can't hurt. how's you

[mummylin2495]

Hi SM how is your heel now ?
Is everyone sweltering in this heat, I'm afraid I can't stand it and prefer to be inside with the ceiling fan on.
Hope everyone getting by day by day and managing to cope.
badvoc has your ds gone into hospital yet ?

[supermariossister]

went to the doctors been put on codeine and referred for physio, it's okay worse in the mornings, or after sitting for a long time. I hate taking codeine though it leaves me wrung out. it's super hot here but we are mega busy with different things so got to get on, making the kids ratty though. how are you today? ceiling fan sounds good I remember one mum had it was good at keeping place cool

[mummylin2495]

Did he say what it was ?

[supermariossister]

could be plantar fasciitis but more likely to be torn ligaments. the codeine fuzz is worse than the foot pain!

[inabranstonpickle]

Gosh, sorry to hear that

I didn't get my dream job ( missed out by a cats whisker!) but have managed to secure another one which I'm pleased about!

I went to the grave yesterday to put some roses on. My mum would have been 69 on Sunday - she died when she was 53. We still haven't got my dad's name on there. I'm not sure what message to have on.