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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My brother was murdered last night.

342 replies

MetallicHighlights · 04/12/2013 21:17

That's it, really. He was stabbed to death on his doorstep. Just been staring at the photo of his house with the forensic tent outside on the BBC website.

I've been spamming FB with maudlin photos but reckon my friends there have probably had enough by now, so have come here to rant instead.

DD (14) adored him. She is being very brave. DS doesn't know yet as it's his 5th birthday today and I wanted him to have one more day of fun before he learns that life is shit.

So how do we get through this?

OP posts:
Original poster
MetallicHighlights · 04/12/2013 22:13

Agrostic DS has a collection of flat caps as well, so he can be just like Uncle Jon.

To people who have found the news story - we do have a good idea who and why it happened but I'm reluctant to say any more till the police do. But basically it wasn't down to anything that was Jon's fault, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 04/12/2013 22:13

So sorry. What a horrid thing to happen. Are you getting bereavement support?

Idreamofsunshine · 04/12/2013 22:15

Oh god OP I'm so sorry for your loss. If it was your brother who lived inWK I heard about this earlier today and thought how tragic it was.

piratecat · 04/12/2013 22:16

i am so so sorry MetallicHighlights. This is awful, i cannot imagine what you and your family are going through.

my condolences to you. xx

knittedslippersx3 · 04/12/2013 22:16

I'm so sorry this has happened. Be kind to yourself, you are being so strong for your dc.

crazyafterall · 04/12/2013 22:18

He sounds so, so lovely as do you.

A horrible, senseless loss.

Wildhorses123 · 04/12/2013 22:18

I'm so terribly sorry OP. Hold on to those beautiful memories you have of your brother.

HolofernesesHead · 04/12/2013 22:20

RIP Jon. So incredibly sorry Metallic. Much love and strength to you and your family, even though I've never met you.

Theenormouscrocodile · 04/12/2013 22:21

RIP Jon. Sending you lots of love at this awful time xx

lookout · 04/12/2013 22:22

Metallic awful, so sad Sad. But you are absolutely admirable in putting your ds's birthday before your grief. Well done for being brave and strong. When/if you're ready there's a sibling bereavement thread around, you'd be welcome if you feel it right for you.

Sounds like you have some amazing RL support, keep leaning on it. Just take it easy on yourself for now and let people help you as much as they can. Talk about him and think about him as much as you can. Write stuff down. Cry. It'll all help, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Thinking of you.

Original poster
MetallicHighlights · 04/12/2013 22:23

That was him Idreamofsunshine . And he definitely wouldn't know what to do with himself at the thought of random laydeez on the internet describing him as a handsome bloke, whoever it was upthread who said that!

Hoping that when we go over tomorrow I'll be able to talk to the liaison officer about support for the kids, and I'll definitely be contacting SAMM. I spoke to staff at both the kids' schools today so they can get something in place for when they go back.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I can barely see through my puffy eyes now, but all your kind words are helping get me through the evening. Thanks

OP posts:
JBBBean · 04/12/2013 22:25

So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful parent you are xxx

BellaVita · 04/12/2013 22:26

How awful.

I am so sorry Flowers

dontcallmehon · 04/12/2013 22:27

I'm so terribly sorry, Metallic xx

Vintagebeads · 04/12/2013 22:27

I am so sorry for your tragic loss.

Be kind to yourself and lean on others.Your brother sounds like a wonderful man who will be forever young.

Calabria · 04/12/2013 22:29

I am so, so sorry.

magimedi · 04/12/2013 22:31

So very sorry. Flowers

CatAmongThePigeons · 04/12/2013 22:31

So sorry Sad you were amazing holding it together for your son, your strength and courage is admirable.

Be kind to yourself and talk as much as you need to. He seems a wonderful chap. X

WoTmania · 04/12/2013 22:32

That's awful OP. So sorry.

PigsInParis · 04/12/2013 22:32

My gosh OP, my thoughts are with you tonight and your DD.

Words seem rather insignificant - however I know that MN is a wonderful source to help let it out. There is always support here.

I am truly sorry that your family have to endure this heart breaking loss, I hope that your friends and family can come together now and hopefully support each other through the next few hours/weeks/ months til the shock wears off.

I hope SAMM can help you and the DC process what has happened.

It sounds like your brother was a wonderful uncle and brother. An awesome castle exploring brother and uncle with a love of music and cool hats! RIP Jon and many many hugs for you and your DC Metallic x

moomoomummy · 04/12/2013 22:34

Just spoken to my sister who is one of yr best friends from school. Can't believe it and have no idea what to say to you other than I am so so sorry for you , the kids and yr mum and dad and most if all Jon. Must have been the worst day if your life today. Sarah xx

OldRoan · 04/12/2013 22:34

I'm so sorry for your loss, and so in awe of your strength looking after your children and making sure your DS had a wonderful birthday.

You might find " Michael Rosen's Sad Book" useful. It is sold as a children's book but is, I think, appropriate and acceptable for all.

DziezkoDisco · 04/12/2013 22:34

Oh so terribly sorry. I heard this pn the news before. He looks lovely x

CaroBeaner · 04/12/2013 22:36

I am so sorry, what a terrible shock. What a terrible and wasteful loss of your brother's life. You are a wonderful sister and mother, and a credit to your brogher's memory. I wish you all strength.

PacificDogwood · 04/12/2013 22:36

I am so sorry for your terrible loss, Metallic.

What strength you must have to have managed to get through today and provide your DS with his 'best birthday ever' - that made me smile and well up.

Your brother sounds like a wonderful person and you were obviously close.
I hope you can find lots of love and support in RL to help you adapt to this hole in your life.

Much love and strength x.

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