Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent (4)

[mummylin2495]

Here is our new home hope it's as comfy as the last one

...but who knows!?....

badvoc, hope you feel better soon you poor wee soulxxx

Happy Birthday Mum. Ds3 sang it for you this morning - no one else has mentioned it. Missing you as always xxx.

Oh jinty that sounds so sweet, how old is your ds ?

He is 7 and speaks about his Granny all the time. He was never really able to have the same relationship with her as his brothers did as she was not well enough to look after him or play with him by the time he was old enough to remember. he will often completely fabricate stories of "things they did together". His brothers are teenagers and prefer not to talk about her at the moment .

what is it with totally insensitive people? I've mentioned about a woman I work with before, I think she does it to get to me. Y'day I was saying I'm finding Xmas hard and the shops are full of stuff I'd buy mum for xmas, so this was an opener for her to go on and on about what she was buying for her mum at xmas, what shes been doing with her mum blah blah blah, then going on about which gran her teenagers prefer and all the stuff her mum and her inlaws do with her kids, knowing we've got no grandparents left here. Why do people do that, do you think they secretly know exactly what they're doing?? Agnes, your work sounds like mine

t875, any news from your dads tests yet xx

sorry to go on about this, I spoke to dh and he said why do you listen to her but its hard when its just her and \i working together all day, theres nowhere to escape!!

is it just me who find people like this? I dont get it, I'd hate to upset someone like this.

jinty, your ds3 sounds lovely xx

i dont understand it either ssd and i personally wouldnt stand and discuss with someone who had just lost a family member all the things i was doing with that particular member of my family. it just seems odd, but then some people only really take notice of what they are doing and not think about the general wider picture. i would probably be saying i dont much feel like talking today and hoping she buggers off and leaves you alone! strange though, i dont expect people to never mention their mum around me but it would annoy me to hear someone go on and on when they knew i was feeling fragile. i wrapped all our presents and then got dp to write the tag as i couldnt face writing "to mum from x and x" even though i always used to it feels wrong now.

shes my boss which makes it worse. I think shes just that sort of person who only considers herself, shes forever telling me how skint she is, knowing her dh earns twice of mine (they know each other) and shes obviously on more money than being, being in charge. I think I'm just really sensitive just now and need to toughen up. well dont you super for wrapping your presents already, I'm now where near that stage!

sorry typos there, I meant well done you super, should learn to preview

i dont think you need toughen up some days are harder than others, she doesnt seem to have factored in that you might be feeling fragile, to me it is obvious if someone doesnt want to talk about a certain subject and to carry on waxing lyrical about it is just rude. awkward with it being the boss though as you cant tell her to get bent.

I'd love to tell her that.....and I'm not the only one there!!

thanks super, it really helps to talk to someone who gets it, dh just looked at me like last night when I said I was missing my mum, he gave me a hug but I know the feelings thing is just beyond him, when his mum died he wasnt affected much as they weren't close at all.

its all just taking so long, this grief thing. I just want to stop being hurt by every little thing I see and hear, I feel like I want to go into hiding from the world and come back when I'm not feeling this way. I dont like feeling like this but I cant get rid of it, I thought counselling would help but its just made me realise how alone I am instead of thinking my siblings might give a damn. I need to get rid of this lonely feeling its consuming me.

viva, did you manage to see your gp and get signed off a bit longer? I hope so xx

ssd some people are so stuck up their own bum they can't see the pain that others are in, or don't want to. When she does it next time just turn off and don't bother listening to her, or go ff to the loo or something, if you ignore her surely she will get the message eventually ? Stupid insensitive cow. People like her make me sick. No thought at all for feelings of others.
supermario you have done so well with your Xmas shopping, I still have to do mine ! Have no clues what to buy. Ts the first time I have been like this , normally I have bags of stuff all over the place, but at the moment I have nowhere to put anything as ds and gs are in my spare room where I would normally dump everything no doubt it will all be done in time though even if I have to go out every day for a week dh has offered to come with me but he is a bloody nightmare. He would just buy anything with no thoughts and always finds fault with things I would pick so I prefer to not have him with me ! Oh well I must press on with my mountain of ironing !

Badvoc - Hope ds is better asap and you are better my thoughts are with you.

I have dd off today, she has been off since yesterday, cough cold!
hope she goes back tomorrow as i need to get on! lol

Thanks about the coins, very strange to say the least, so look for random 1p peices and 5 pences you just never know! I have found 1p's all different places, there was even one on the table when i went out with my friends for a night, i was dancing and turned to the side and there was a 1 p. My dad found 2 on the path at the crem last year on valentines day. Who knows eh but they say pennies from heaven

hope everyone isnt going along too bad. Were here for you anytime. x

not last year valentines day i meant this year, my god that hit me..she was with here last year february, feels so much longer ago i lost her when it was only 2012!!

yes I know what you mean t875, sometimes it feels like a million years ago since I last saw mum and at other times it feels like yesterday.

mummylin, you are so right, some folk are so far up their own bums arent they and my boss is definitely one of them!

ssd- No results so far, hoping that its not massively urgent but you just never know eh.

ssd and super - i have great ways of cows of the world met a couple of dragons in my time and we all know who they are

anyways, i would say out loud to her "ohh it bothers me so much people talking about their mums and what they are getting and time they are spending, it absolutlely breaks my heart"
really say how it makes you feel and say "one more person says this to me and im gonna deck em" hopefully the chat calms down after that!! Give it a go i would!!

Someone put something on my wall about strokes and how to survive one, i couldnt believe it, my friend too. I told her next time hide me from this kinda thing and since then i havent seen anything like that.

Thinking of you all xx

Urgh i must feel like punishing myself today i commented on a post about what i am dreading the most this christmas, my post of how much i will miss mum and whether i will lose my composure in front of the kids was lost in a sea of how other people dont want to see their own mum, all the little pathetic reasons why it is to much like hard work to go to family get togethers. annoys me.

I said the same online before sick of seeing people moaning about how much hard work it is to spend time with their own bloody family.

I haven't seen the thread you are talking about but I completely understand what you mean, they don't realise how lucky they are to still have their mums with them. Like you I would give anything to have just one more day if that's all I could have, even 5 mins would be so wonderful.

:( making me cross.

im trying to fit photos of mum into christmas tree photo frame decorations. its not going well! grrrr

Which thread is it you are on about. Have only just come In. been out to Chinese restaurant to celebrate ds and gs birthdays . 8 of us was nice.

If its not going well , leave it for a bit then go back to it maybe tomorrow

that sounds good i love chinese food we never had it as dp doesnt like it!

the thread is in chat, called something like what are dreading this christmas but feeling guilty about dreading or something like that. i know everyone has different lives it just makes me sad to think that in a few years time they might feel like us :(