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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 38 39

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Walking together on a journey - sharing experiences, tears, anger and sometimes even laughter. United we stand, divided we fall.

972 replies

shabbatheGreek · 23/07/2013 10:10

This special thread was started in 2008. Its a special place - one which nobody would ever willingly come to. I hope we pay tribute to our lost children by helping each other. xxxx

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MiaAlexandrasmummy · 28/08/2013 23:29

Hi shabs, I'm here. Congratulations to Tom on his GCSEs, you must feel proud.

Went to a wedding over the bank holiday, a very happy time. But it was also a little weird, because one of the last times we saw this group of friends was at the funeral of the now-groom's wife. It was also the first and last time many of these people saw Mia. Hard not to compare the smiles for Finn with those they had for Mia. At the same time, it was good to all be together for a happy reason, rather than the litany of sad ones of the past couple of years.

Helyantha - I don't even attempt normal! That being said, "normal" is so different for everyone, isn't it?

shabbatheGreek · 29/08/2013 06:59

Morning girls xx

Thank you Mias xx

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shabbatheGreek · 31/08/2013 08:15

Morning girls xx

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shabbatheGreek · 01/09/2013 09:44

Morning girls xx Very, very quiet on here.

Its back to school/college day tomorrow here.....Toms had almost 3 months off!!

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MiaAlexandrasmummy · 01/09/2013 23:09

Shabba - so your house will be very quiet tomorrow - apart from the early morning chaos of getting ready? Or is gorgeous Lew there to ensure you don't have any moments to relax?!

I have my parents here with me again, and they are adoring the time with Finn.

I was at a party last night, and the mother of my birthday friend also lost a little daughter nearly 40 years ago. She has written to me several times, with so much kindness. Her little girl is still very much part of their lives, remembered, loved and celebrated. I thanked her for all her support with Mia, and she just answered "What can you can do? You just keep on going." I guess we all do, even if 'going' is sometimes more of a thought than reality...

shabbatheGreek · 01/09/2013 23:20

Hiya love.

No Lew tomorrow either he doesn't start back in year 1 until Tuesday but his Mummy has tomorrow off. I am going to clean my house from top to bottom. Have a mad 'throwing stuff out' day!!!

The lady you spoke about seems really lovely....and she is right - you do just have to keep on going. Its good to talk to people who have experienced every Mums nightmare. There is always something that is said that makes you think 'Ahhh thats a good idea' or 'those words are so comforting.' We can all learn things from each other cant we? xx

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shabbatheGreek · 02/09/2013 08:44

Morning girls xx

Well thats Tom off to college with my last £20!!!! He has been given a bursary to pay for his weekly bus travel but it hasn't come through yet Think a telephone call is in order to sort it out!!

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MiaAlexandrasmummy · 02/09/2013 22:09

And I bet you gave it to him without a second thought! Hope he enjoyed his first day. How was your cleaning day?

You are right though, thinking of my friend's mother - we can learn from others, even if it's only to say that it is possible to keep on going, despite thinking that you can't.

WeAreSeven · 02/09/2013 22:38

I'm not sure I would keep on going if I had a choice. You know when you're walking along with a toddler and they just sit -plop!- down in the middle of the path and refuse to budge! I feel like that a lot. Like I'd just like to stop and strop and sulk!
But you have to keep going because the other people keep right on walking and you have to walk with them.

shabbatheGreek · 03/09/2013 08:14

Morning girls - Tom loves college!!

Bad day today! - Dont often feel like this anymore - have no idea why. Suspect it may have been last nights episodes of Coronation Street...yes I know its a soap but when they talked to Roy and Hayley about her cancer being untreatable I was back to our hospital and watching my Dads face when they gave him the same diagnosis. Keep having a cry and then getting mad with myself for doing it!!

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shabbatheGreek · 03/09/2013 08:15

Oh yes I can identify with the stroppy toddler who plonks herself down and wont move....

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whiteandyellowiris · 03/09/2013 10:23

morning everyone

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 03/09/2013 10:44

Hi there all.

shabs I bet you don't allow yourself to cry very much, but tears are liquid love. It's ok. And even the description of your Dad's face is heartbreaking, so reliving that moment itself must be even harder.

white how are you? Are you all sorted with your GDD now?

weareseven perfect description! I do have visions of you and Shabba sitting on the pavement, petulant looks on your faces, kicking your against the concrete, having a good old yell... Think I shall join you!

shabbatheGreek · 03/09/2013 11:14

No I dont cry a lot....I pin on a stupid cheery smile and try to convince others that I am fine. Trouble is my Dad (and Mum) have always been the strong ones in our family - the ones I run to whenever I am in shit trouble, the ones that have bailed us all out at some point or another. I have become their Mum now

Dad keeps insisting on making appts. with the GP. He will not get a taxi but insists on me taking them on the bus. The round trip, plus the appt takes about 2 hours minimum and is exhausting for my parents. Then I come home and have a good cry.

He feels he has been left to get on with it. The amazing consultant gave him the verdict at the beginning of March...nothing could be done, it is untreatable cancer and he had no idea how long Dad has. Thats it...bye see you later kind of thing. He has carers twice a day but even they dont do anything verbally for him IYKWIM. I listen to him and then hug him and say I wish I could make him better.

Oh life is a crock of crap at times my friends xxxx

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shabbatheGreek · 04/09/2013 07:41

Morning girls xx

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shabbatheGreek · 04/09/2013 08:22

Snorris if you are reading this thread but not posting I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. xxxxx

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shabbatheGreek · 05/09/2013 06:46

Morning girls xx

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WeAreSeven · 05/09/2013 14:24

Afternoon, shabba!

shabbatheGreek · 06/09/2013 07:51

Morning.....rain pouring down, dark grey skies and cold.....I hate autumn/Winter with a passion!!

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WeAreSeven · 06/09/2013 19:02

Yes there was talk of the T word today in work.
I put my hands over my ears.

whiteandyellowiris · 06/09/2013 22:26

Mia's mummy, I'm not too sure how I am to be honest
I'm learning more about the diabetes, my blood glucose it 8.7 at but an hour and a half ago I tried a banana.
Don't think y body can tolerate bananas

But i can eat strawberries

whiteandyellowiris · 06/09/2013 22:26

How's it going in Mia's wood after that incident?

shabbatheGreek · 07/09/2013 08:06

Morning girls xx

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whiteandyellowiris · 07/09/2013 10:13

Morningshabs
How are your mum n dad doing ?

Have you always been so close to them are did you become closer after losing your boys ?
I know I became closer to mine after losing ds
Before that I was very much,I don't need any help.with anything

shabbatheGreek · 07/09/2013 18:21

We have always been close. Losing the boys didn't really change our relationship. Now that they are both ill (particularly my Dad) we have become even closer. I went this morning and talked to them for a while and then said to Mum 'Do you mind if I clean round for you Mum?' She looked relieved - so I have cleaned the house from top to bottom. Beds changed - lovely 'smell stuff' sprayed around, polished every surface etc etc etc. My Dad gave me some 'admin stuff' to do LOL.....'Can you ring this lady and ask her this.....can you contact these and sort this out?' To be honest its a pleasure to help them.

xxx

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