This special thread was started in 2008. Its a special place - one which nobody would ever willingly come to. I hope we pay tribute to our lost children by helping each other. xxxx
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Bereavement
Walking together on a journey - sharing experiences, tears, anger and sometimes even laughter. United we stand, divided we fall.
972 replies
shabbatheGreek · 23/07/2013 10:10
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shabbatheGreek ·
11/08/2013 23:29
To be honest I am dreading tomorrow when its Beths funeral. Everybody is going to wear at least one piece of clothing that is pink (Beths favourite colour) and afterwards they are going to a local social club and having a karaoke and disco (Beths favourite 'thing')
I was, for once, pleased that I could give her advice based on my own experiences. She said she feels lost without all the medical care she gave her little girl and keeps thinking she has to give her medication etc etc. Poor, poor girl. Have already said that I will go to the inquest with her if she wants me to...its set for December 9th this year which will be my 57th birthday 
I have that horrible uneasy feeling in my body and dont know about anything anymore - if that makes any sense. Last night I felt like I couldnt breath through my nose and had to put the edge of my finger in my mouth to fall asleep because I kept thinking I couldnt breathe through my mouth either.
Its truly a 'weird' World!!!
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cupofteaplease ·
13/08/2013 23:20
Shabba I'm so sorry to hear about Beth. I can empathise with her mum, losing your role as carer as well as mum was so hard for me, and other parents at the hospice group we attend. It feels like you have all these skills that you never chose to acquire, but would never resent having, then all of a sudden they are obsolete. I sat around for a long time missing the hum of the oxygen concentrator, and the Sats alarm, and the beep of the feeding pump, and the regular medicines that needed to be administered, the therapy sessions, nurse visits, hospital appointments, feeding tubes, monitor wires. But above all, the cuddles. Beatrice couldn't move, so she couldn't get away from me even if she wanted to 
so she was smothered in kisses in cuddles all the day long, I hated putting her down.
I miss every little thing about her and I'm going through a low patch. I think of her ALL THE TIME. And I'm crying at night again. I sleep with one of her dresses under my pillow and I often wake with it under my cheek, so I've soaked it in tears too many times.
We went on holiday and I felt so low, wishing we were the family of 5 we should be. I'm nervous about her birthday coming up next month as I know my family won't acknowledge it. All in all, if you met me in the street you might think I was a normal mum of two coping nicely with life, but underneath it all I am crumbling without my darling, darling girl. It hurts so much.
shabbatheGreek ·
14/08/2013 06:52
Morning girls xx
Cupof - that was the first thing I said to my Niece....'I can imagine that you feel you have no routine left.' She agreed that she keeps waking up and the house is too quiet - no monitors, no medical equipment.
The worst thing of all is that they live in an adapted (for Beth) council house. Its a lovely house....but within the next month they will have to leave it because thats our local councils policy! I am sure they will be given help to find a new house but that will be so unnerving for all of them. Their (mini bus) adapted car will have to be given back to the DLA people etc etc etc. Too many changes all at once. My God I wish I could help them but I dont have the money to do it. Yes I know they are material things but they must be obviously greiving and all these changes will make 'stuff' so much more difficult
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shabbatheGreek ·
16/08/2013 07:48
Morning Lavandes - that sounds like something that would happen in our house 
xx
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snorris ·
16/08/2013 08:41
I'm still lurking around. Having a bit of a wobble atm. Dd1 got her results yesterday and is off to uni in just 4 weeks. I am going to miss her - I haven't told her yet I will probably embarrass her by crying when I drop her off .
Sorry to hear of your great niece, Shabs and thinking of chip today.
shabbatheGreek ·
16/08/2013 09:02
Oh Snorris 'wobbles' are totally allowed - I still have wobbles on a daily basis. I can only imagine how much you will miss your daughter as she starts the next phase of her life at Uni.
Thinking about you today Chips - later today (when Lew goes home) I will light my candle in honour of your DD xx
I will certainly pass on your thoughts to my Niece Mias - and thank you. She and the family have gone on a few days holiday together. She messaged me last night and said did I think it was her fault. We talked long into the night and she seemed a little more settled when we said goodnight. xx
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shabbatheGreek ·
17/08/2013 17:05
That sounds like a very tough day love.
Lit my candle early in the afternoon for your DD - Lewis was still here and sang 'Happy Birthday' to her 
He said 'Its weird Andma that you have never met these ladies really but you all talk about your children....its weird but I think its very nice!!' The truth out of a 5 year olds mouth. xx
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snorris ·
20/08/2013 07:19
Morning. Just to make you jealous we have sunshine down here in the South! 
My Grandma's from Lancashire - I vaguely remember going to visit my Granny in Rochdale when I was little. A random bit of trivia there!
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