Walking together on a journey - sharing experiences, tears, anger and sometimes even laughter. United we stand, divided we fall.

[shabbatheGreek]

This special thread was started in 2008. Its a special place - one which nobody would ever willingly come to. I hope we pay tribute to our lost children by helping each other. xxxx

Morning girls xx

My "season of sadness" is beginning. My grandmother died today two years ago. Mia's inquest finished a year ago last week. She died two years ago next Thursday. And tomorrow, there is the funeral of a very dear friend in Belgium, but I can't attend. We are off to Westonbirt Arboretum today to see the beautiful autumn colours and think of then all, and remember how innocent we were all that time ago...

Its emotionally very hard work when birthdays, anniversaries and other significant dates all fall together. It makes you wonder just how much emotion and stress a human being can cope with doesn't it? We must be made of very tough stuff even if it doesn't feel like that at times xxxx

do any of you ever look at photos of yourself years ago, years before your heartache and think oh if only you knew what life had in store for you....

there is a photo of me and dh in my living room and we look so young and full of health wellbeing and future promise
oblivious to what we were about to go through

it just reminded me when you said how innocent you were all that time ago

i find the christmas season is tough and ds1 birthaday/anniversary is in feb so that feels like my toughest time
i can clearly remmeber seeing hearts everywhere i looked in feb too
due to valntines day
and valentines stuff makes me feel sad

Yes to looking at pictures - most definitly.

I have a pic of myself and DH at a party (probably I think his Mums birthday) in September 1981. I was 6 months pregnant with my twin boys (didnt find out I was having twins till 10 days before I delivered them at 38 weeks!!)

I look 9 months pregnant and I have a massive grin on my face - proudly showing off my enormous bump.

so naieve - not got a clue as to what would unfold over the coming years.

Have been to see my parents today. They are 'muddling' along - no better in their health. I felt like the grown up and also realised I am clueless and afraid of their future. xx

I cant seem to find the strength to post these days but do lurk

There never seems to be many people around these days ..where has everyone gone..I miss the banter

Hiya FM - I miss seeing you around but I do know what you mean xxx

A group started on FB for this thread. I was a bit wary because there is little protection on MN but, in my opinion, NONE on FB. I joined the group for a while and then it didn't feel right. As long as I can I will try to keep this thread going. We have 'weathered storms' on here and always tried to help each other. We all share the same sad story - we all walk this crappy path of the bereavment of a child/children.

I think we should try to get it back to how it used to be.....support, sadness, grief, laughter, smiles and tears. If we all support each other we will walk the path together.

We should try to make it how it used to be. xxxxx

Morning girls xx

I miss the banter as well. I wonder if people become worried about offending others if they had a good day when others didn't, or feel able to smile when others can't. For me, when I am down, it's good to read that someone else is having a better time while I'm not, or to have a silly giggle about something innocuous.

Finn has been a disaster zone today. He bit another little boy (on the forehead, of all places) and then this afternoon, he was chewing on a rattle and fell forward, causing his mouth to bleed and he has a big blood blister on his lip. He is so rough and tumble!

Yesterday was beautiful at the arboretum. Of course, it rained heavily as we were only halfway around, but I managed to collect a wonderful variety of red, orange and golden leaves, which are now sitting in a bowl in the kitchen. A little bit of Mia. x

Banter is good Mias....to be able to laugh out loud at something is very good. So much sadness and heavy hearts and then when something makes me laugh I cant stop.

I love the Autumn colours - come to think of it thats all I like about Autumn and Winter.....give me a hot sunny day any time xx

Ah, I know you are a Greek goddess,shabba!

Morning girls xx

@ Greek goddess!!

Go with it, shabba

Just feeling sad. It's all nearly here. It matters, but it doesn't. Just another day without my beautiful little redhead.

Got my strawberry scented candle burning tonight - in my lovely jewelled candleholder that I stole got from our hotel in Rhodes!!! It smells beautiful and just thinking about all our children who are no longer physically here with us.

Dont know if anybody watched DIY SOS tonight? I always cry when I am watching it but tonights episode almost pushed me 'over the edge.' So much sadness and struggle.

You are right Mias - it doesn't matter....and it does, it will come and it will go - we have to keep plodding through - 'one foot in front of the other and dont forget to breathe.' xxx

Morning girls xx

Morning. Very grey and miserable here. Appropriate. just another day.

Didn't watch DIY SOS, shabba, but I have friends who do, and like you, they find some of the stories so sad.

Any exciting Lew adventures recently? I do love that boy!! Does he still have his Mohawk hairstyle?

The hair do requires a LOT of gel LOL. He got 15 out of 15 in his first proper spelling test at school. Took it down to show his Pop and Gee Gee (my parents - his great grandparents) - crafty little sod knew he would get money as a reward

He then proceeded to tell my Dad that he knew loads of words for 'his bits!!!' I thought my Dad may choke laughing when he rhymed them off.......Conkerdors, Crown jewels, Codswallops, Dangleberrys etc etc etc - he is only 5 LOL LOL - certainly cheered my Dad up!!!

Lew is such a character! Smart, cheeky - and words for his bits!! That really made me laugh.

Morning girls xx

Hello. It's been an unsettled 24 hours, but think we have found some calm now. MrMia and I had words over something silly last night, because we were both sad and stressed. This morning, we woke to both the car alarm and the shed alarm (a distance away) going off. Then Finn woke and vomited everywhere. It's like the world was saying "things aren't right today". It knew about Mia and Beatrice.

Eventually though, the sun came out and it was a glorious Mia-bright autumn day. We are just back home from spending several hours at Mia's Wood, planting a gorgeous red acre and two little eucalypts, and doing some tree maintenance and checks on the others there.

While I have a deep sadness, there is now a sense of relief too, that these difficult days are nearly over.

We planted an acer, not an acre!!

Either way works for me Mias!!! Acre or Acer is no problem. Feel so low tonight - the whole world feels like it is closing in on me. I know I will be OK - know everything will be fine BUT its so hard xx

Morning girls xx

What's going on Shabba? New stuff, or just tired of being strong for your whole family?