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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

I should have been holding my daughter in my arms...

156 replies

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:45

..by now.
she was due 11th feb but i was scheduled for induction at 38 weeks.
I know most of you have followed my threads and know whats happened, but for those who dont, i lost my baby at 23 weeks of pregnancy and its just hit me full on now.
i just feel adesperate longing for my baby, i cant describe it, i feel so miserable

OP posts:
mrsdarcy · 05/02/2006 20:20

So sorry Spacecadet. This month was bound to be horrible for you, but anticipating it is one thing - actually getting through it is another.

Original poster
spacecadet · 05/02/2006 20:35

the anticipation has been unbearable, i just want this month over with now.

OP posts:
Mercy · 05/02/2006 20:58

spacecadet, I think your dream is another form of grieving - it's just your subconcience trying to deal with a bloody awful situation. I don't think it's relevant that your older children weren't in your dream. Your dd was a part of your life, Her life and death is part and parcel of who you are, and she will always be with you no matter what.

Original poster
spacecadet · 05/02/2006 21:48

i guess so mercy, i was thinking about it when i went to sleep last night.

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 05/02/2006 21:50

I think that your other children weren't in your dream because they are normally at school during the day, and you were imagining your normal daytime out and about routine. I don't think there is any particular meaning in your other children not being in the dream.

Merlin · 05/02/2006 21:50

just sending best wishes and to let you know am thinking of you.

jangus · 05/02/2006 23:17

Hi SC,
I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but my mind has drawn a blank.
You helped me so much when I lost Lilli-Mae, and I will always be indebt to you.

I hope you know and feel how much we think of you on here. You have so much time for others, but now is the time to focus on yourself and deal with all you have been through.
Some others on here have said positive things and have given you good advice, and I hope it helps in a little way

You are very much in my thoughts.
Love Jangus XxxX

Original poster
spacecadet · 05/02/2006 23:19

jangus-i got your email and replied.

OP posts:
waterfalls · 05/02/2006 23:21

spacecadet
Just seen this thread, so sorry, you are really going through the mill at the moment, I hope things start looking up for you soon, by god you deserve it. (((((((((hugs)))))))))))))xxxx

bubble99 · 05/02/2006 23:24

It's crap, SC and you're going to have to wade through it. It hurts like hell but it's a necessary, healing pain. I've ostriched too much since last year and I'm paying for it now, I wish I'd exposed myself to the full awful rawness of it all earlier, instead of trying to avoid it.

I've often thought about you.

XX

PrettyCandles · 05/02/2006 23:32

{{Hugs}} SC. How you must miss them. . Do take those supplements, your poor ol' body has so much to cope with atm.

Original poster
spacecadet · 05/02/2006 23:48

thinking of you too bubble.

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 05/02/2006 23:55

.................E

Go to bed.................

Lack of sleep, will not be helping you ATM.

amanda1 · 06/02/2006 08:17

Message withdrawn

CarlyP · 06/02/2006 08:29

thinking of you SC

cx

cathyspam · 06/02/2006 08:44

you poor thing - you have been through so much! I just wanted to say what a strong person you must be to have got this far already, this month will be hard and you will never forget your lost daughter but you are doing the right thing by getting your feelings out and not bottling it up. Please continue to do this - we are all here for you. In my thoughts and prayers.

Angeliz · 06/02/2006 08:50

just read this spacecadet. Don't know what to say but sorry++++++++++

Gizmo · 06/02/2006 09:39

Bugger. Haven't turned my PC on all weekend - sorry I missed you SC.

Hang on in there, OK? One foot in front of the other, day by day. Soon it will be March and the dates you dreaded will be behind you, not hanging over you. And we will still be here for you. And your kids will still love you (even if they have a funny way of showing it sometimes). And you will still be a terrific mother....maybe soon you'll be able to take some consolation from that.

choccywoccydoodaa · 06/02/2006 09:57

Really feel for you, spacey , and can only echo what others have said - ride those waves and the pain will eventually lessen. You have been so supportive to other mnetters so there is a lot of support out here for you. Take heart from the fact that you are a warm, feeling, caring mother who has had just so much to cope with recently. It sounds as if you could do with a little time for yourself - is there anyone who could help out?

Original poster
spacecadet · 06/02/2006 09:59

choccy no there isnt unfortunately.
amanda i have been thinking about you as i know your due date is not far away.

OP posts:
choccywoccydoodaa · 06/02/2006 10:09

Where abouts are you, spacey?

Original poster
spacecadet · 06/02/2006 11:59

im in cambs

OP posts:
choccywoccydoodaa · 06/02/2006 12:45

I'm afraid I'm a couple of hours away from you so not really in a position to offer any practical help. Perhaps there are other mners close by who could help. I will however pay my subscription especially to CAT you (feel flattered! )so if you need an email ear/want to call you can. Having been in a different but similar situation, feeling like the world was caving in, I relied on the support of my friends and some lovely mners and I'd love to be able to help someone else in return. Thinking of you.

Original poster
spacecadet · 06/02/2006 13:37

choccy-thats so kind of you, not wanting to put anyone off subscribing but here is my email
ezzywezzy at msn dot com

OP posts:
choccywoccydoodaa · 06/02/2006 14:15

Oops - I'm so impetuous - subscription made but all to a good cause! Have CAT-ed you and will catch up with you once I get back from my appointments this pm.

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