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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

I should have been holding my daughter in my arms...

156 replies

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:45

..by now.
she was due 11th feb but i was scheduled for induction at 38 weeks.
I know most of you have followed my threads and know whats happened, but for those who dont, i lost my baby at 23 weeks of pregnancy and its just hit me full on now.
i just feel adesperate longing for my baby, i cant describe it, i feel so miserable

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 04/02/2006 21:48

I can't possibly comprehend what you are going through, but so sorry you are going through this. I hope you feel a little better after the 11th.

WigWamBam · 04/02/2006 21:48

I wish I knew what to say; I'm hopeless at finding the right words. So sorry you're going through this.

colditz · 04/02/2006 21:48

There are no words I can type that will make you feel any better.

I hope you are taking good care of yourself.

Potty1 · 04/02/2006 21:48

I'm so sorry spacecadet. I can't imagine how hard it is for you Don't know what else to say. Hugs.

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:50

its ok, i know that there is nothing anyone can say that will make the pain go away, but i feel like someone is twisting a knife in me at the moment.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 04/02/2006 21:51

Just wanted to say my thoughts are going out to you
x

BudaBabe · 04/02/2006 21:51

Oh SC.

Don't know what to say. But hugs, hugs and more hugs.

She's with you somehow. Not enough I know. But she's there.

You've been through so much. Sending you hugs and strength.

xx

WharfRat · 04/02/2006 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ScummyMummy · 04/02/2006 21:53

I'm so sorry, spacecadet.

JanH · 04/02/2006 21:53

OMG, spacey, you poor love. I am so sorry. She would have been a week old tonight, wouldn't she?

dinny · 04/02/2006 21:54

Spacecadet, just wanted to say I'm so sorry you lost your daughter. My mum lost two children, my brothers (twins - one was stillborn and one died a week after he was born) and we have spoken about it many times (especially since I have become a mother). She says she never ever forgets, it's always with her, but now it is in a peaceful way. She went on to have two more babies (me and my sister) and was the most wonderful mother to us and is now enjoying her grandchildren. Life will be worth living again, you'll see. xxxxxx

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:54

yes janh, if everything had gone to plan.

OP posts:
Nemo1977 · 04/02/2006 21:55

hugs to you hunny cant imagine the pain you are going through.

WideWebWitch · 04/02/2006 21:56

Oh spacecadet, I'm sorry, I didn't know.

JanH · 04/02/2006 21:56

I wish I could say something to help

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:56

thank you dinny, i know it will get better with time as this happened to me before at 26 weeks 16 years ago, i have 4 lovely children, but it doesnt ease the pain at the mo(sorry if that sounds selfish)
ive been dreading this time for ages.

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 04/02/2006 21:56

So sorry to hear this SC, life is so unfair and cruel sometimes

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:58

i kind of hope that once i get this month out of the way, i can move forward, i feel like ive been trapped in limbo, although i have done a lot of crying today.

OP posts:
dinny · 04/02/2006 21:59

my brothers' anniversary is this time of year and my mum hates it too

stay strong, you'll get through this bit.

Mercy · 04/02/2006 22:00

spacecadet.

My 2nd pregnancy ended very early but sadly the due date was my first child's actual birthday. That date, albeit a very happy one, is always tinged with sadness for me (and I seem to be the only one who remembers)

Sorry that wasn't much help. Thinking of you though

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 22:00

im starting to feel like i cant be strong anymore, ive had so much to deal with just lately.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2006 22:02

So sorry SC, words fail me, sorry.

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 22:02

mercy-i have heard of a few people who give birth on the edd of their lost baby, i think its rather poignant.

OP posts:
BudaBabe · 04/02/2006 22:04

Totally understandable SC - but you WILL et through it. It just seem like it at the mo.

Because you need to grieve. And with everything else going on, in a way you haven't had time really. So just let it go. Cry it out. Remember what shoudl have been. Think of your little one.

You WILL come out the other side. This is a stage you NEED to go through.

But we are here whenever you need us.

BudaBabe · 04/02/2006 22:05

"Just "DOESN"T seem like it"