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Bereavement

I should have been holding my daughter in my arms...

156 replies

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:45

..by now.
she was due 11th feb but i was scheduled for induction at 38 weeks.
I know most of you have followed my threads and know whats happened, but for those who dont, i lost my baby at 23 weeks of pregnancy and its just hit me full on now.
i just feel adesperate longing for my baby, i cant describe it, i feel so miserable

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Coathanger · 12/02/2006 20:52

Spacecadet - You are in my thoughts hun. BIG {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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spacecadet · 12/02/2006 20:45

peachyclair-your poor mum.

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PeachyClair · 12/02/2006 16:06

Oh Sc

I'm glad you are talking about it though: My Mum lost 5 before she had my sisters and I at a similar stage (all at 25 weeks) and necer says a word, she also suffers mental health isues and there is a link I am sure. I hope and believe that by coming on here and getting support you will eventually regain enough strength to be able to rebuild your life, step by step.

Sending hugs X

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spacecadet · 12/02/2006 15:26

thanks-its almost a releif to get it out of the way finally

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SoupDragon · 12/02/2006 15:17

Yes, first big hurdle conquered. Look after yourself.

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spacecadet · 12/02/2006 15:13

well at least the due date is out of the way now.

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spacecadet · 11/02/2006 16:37

im hoping that once this month is opver, i can start to move forward..hopefully.

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NomDePlume · 11/02/2006 16:16

spacey, I am at a loss, you have been through so much recently. I wish I knew what to say. xxx

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SoupDragon · 11/02/2006 16:05

Dont really do hugs but here are some scaley ones anyway...

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freeatlast · 11/02/2006 16:03

//[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]

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spacecadet · 11/02/2006 15:59

thank you, ive been doing a lot of crying today, its seems to have finally hit me

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Sallystrawberry · 11/02/2006 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vitomum · 11/02/2006 13:30

i am sure your dd2 will be OK. as mummytosteven says it is ok for them to find out we are human and have lots of different feelings and emotions. and if there is any day that you are entitled to a good cry and wail it is today. it sounds as though you have been trying so hard to be strong that you have bottled things up a bit and now they are exploding out of you. letting some emotion out has to be a good thing though i think.

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Caribbeanqueen · 11/02/2006 13:22

I agree with mts that anger and crying are part of the process and it's goodi n a way that you could let it out. DD2 will be fine and won't remember anyway.

There's nothing I can say to make you feel better, but if there's anything I can do, please let me know.

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mummytosteven · 11/02/2006 13:04

I think howling and anger at some stage (or several) is an inevitable part of the grieving process. I don't think there's any harm in toddlers know that mummy's can get sad too, lose their temper and then make things up with a cuddle.

So sorry that you have been through such a horrible time.

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colditz · 11/02/2006 13:02

Don't blame yourself for being cross about the box, anyone would have been cross.

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spacecadet · 11/02/2006 12:54

the memory box for my baby who was due now, i should have put, not dd2;s memory box.

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spacecadet · 11/02/2006 12:53

today, is technically the day that my daughter was "due" although i would have been induced by now, i feel very low and miserable today but have decided to go to the cathedral tomorrow and light a candle for her in her memory.
yesterday dd2 who is only a baby herself, got hold of my memory box where i kept her scan pics, footprints, the photo i have of her when she was born etc and scattered them on the floor, i went beserk, screaming at dd, and ended up collapsed on the floor crying.
its the first time ive really, really cried over her, properly.
i felt so terrible about dd2, she looked so confused, i just sat and held her while i howled.

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Gizmo · 09/02/2006 14:59

at your DD1, SC, she does come out with some crackers, doesn't she? If it's any consolation, the BMI calcs are a bit squiffy, IMHO - I have, in the past, been categorically 'overweight' on those calcs, when I weighed only half a stone more than I do now.

Hope things are looking a bit better today, BTW

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spacecadet · 09/02/2006 14:48

thank you jangus

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moondog · 08/02/2006 23:17

Ah Jangus Tomorrow is the big day right?
How are you???

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jangus · 08/02/2006 23:12

big hugs SC
hope you get some sleep tonight.
love j

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teacups · 08/02/2006 19:25

Just read this thread Spacecadet and wanted to send you hugs and best wishes at this terrible time. You have so much on your plate and are doing a top job by keeping the show on the road at all! Take it slowly and hope you find some peace soon.

XX

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spacecadet · 08/02/2006 19:09

choccy, no dont worry there was nothing wrong with your comment, im just finding it hard to find anything good to focus on.
no there is no one to help, anyway dm lives 230 miles away, im here with no family. if i wasnt ill and didnt have all the palava going on i would be fine.

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choccywoccydoodaa · 08/02/2006 17:03

Reading back my comment sounds really flippant and it wasn't meant that way. When my Dad died trying to focus on some of the good things (however few) was the only way I got through.

I'm not surprised that you are feeling so unwell - your body is reacting to the immense amount of pressure you are under. It still sounds as if you need some time for you - is there really no-one you could ask to mind the kids, other than your fantastically unhelpful mother?

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