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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

I should have been holding my daughter in my arms...

156 replies

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:45

..by now.
she was due 11th feb but i was scheduled for induction at 38 weeks.
I know most of you have followed my threads and know whats happened, but for those who dont, i lost my baby at 23 weeks of pregnancy and its just hit me full on now.
i just feel adesperate longing for my baby, i cant describe it, i feel so miserable

OP posts:

Report

spacecadet · 05/02/2006 10:12

i had the strangest dream last night, i dreamt that i was out with dd2 and another baby was there, someone asked me to introduce them and i said they were both my daughters, i burst into tears when i woke up this morning and realised it wasnt true, i dont know where my older children were in the dream though, i dont understand why they werent there.

OP posts:

Socci · 05/02/2006 10:14

Message withdrawn

spacecadet · 05/02/2006 12:07

words cant describe how miserable I feel at the moment, ive lost my baby,my marriage and my health seems to be going down the pan too

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mummytosteven · 05/02/2006 12:13

It's so tough and rotten what you've been through the last few years. . it'll take time but you will feel stronger.

BudaBabe · 05/02/2006 12:15

Oh SC. I can't imagine how you are feeling. Just keep telling yourself that it will get better. And it will. The pain of losing your little one won't go completely but it will get easier. And physically you will start to feel stronger too.

Are you taking any vitamins? I seem to have been getting every cold going since Oct and they always then develop into a chest/sinus infection so I have started taking a cocktail of various supplements. It seems to be helping my energy levels too. After being so ill so soon after losing your baby and then your marriage break-up, I would imagine you are quite run-down. Vit B-complex is supposed to help.

littlerach · 05/02/2006 12:26

I thought this thread would be yours, SC, I have no idea ow you are managing, i think you are amazing.

Be kind to yourself, you need time to recover from all that you've had thrown at you recently.

Thinking of you.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 05/02/2006 12:27

No words, Spacey.

Just love.

LGJ

spacecadet · 05/02/2006 12:29

budababe-no im not taking anything, i remember that LGJ suggested something too but i cant remember what it was, you are right, since i lost the baby, i have had to date, a chest infection, 2 ear infections, sinus infection, pneumonia and now the worst cold i think ive ever had, to make matters worse, thiscold now seems to have headed straight for my sinuses as they are killing me and i have earache, with the added benefit of a sore throat and im cpompletely dizzy as i have a balance prob and the cold has aggravated it

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Meanoldmummy · 05/02/2006 12:39

I am so, so, sorry. You have been so brave. I hope life will start to improve for you soon.

AggiePanther · 05/02/2006 12:51

Thinking of you spacecadet xx

BudaBabe · 05/02/2006 12:56

Had your address from Marslady so have sent you some vitamins/minerals!

They will take time to get into your system but should help you start feeling physically stronger.

Hugs.

katierocket · 05/02/2006 12:58

oh spacecadet, I don't know what to say, I can't begin to understand your pain. Just wanted to post to say I'm thinkign of you.

fullmoonfiend · 05/02/2006 13:13

So so sorry Spacecadet. Words fail me. Wrap yourself up in the love of all the people out there who are thinking of you, cry, grieve, rant, rave, whatever it takes.
Even if there is no group local to you, SANDS have online forum, details of phone support helplines, etc which - when you feel ready- may be of some benefit to you.
Don't know what else to say. ((((hugs))))

spacecadet · 05/02/2006 13:24

budababe-please let me know the cost and i will reimburse you.

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BudaBabe · 05/02/2006 13:32

No SC - it's a pressie. Wanted to do the Paypal thingie but can't as they won't accept UK credit cards with overseas address and DH keeps forgetting to bring cheque book home from office. Couldn't help out on the meals front either - don't think I could have sent a meal from Budapest!

But this I can do so please let me.

nitfreecod · 05/02/2006 13:33

hi sc

spacecadet · 05/02/2006 13:36

ermm, yes I think budapest might be a bit of away to travel, i didnt realise you were so far away...its very kind hearted of you, thank you.

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spacecadet · 05/02/2006 13:36

hi cod.

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spacecadet · 05/02/2006 13:37

travel from i meant to put, as you are in budapest already.

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doormat · 05/02/2006 13:39

sc thoughts are with you
hugs
xxx

Hayls · 05/02/2006 13:43

I'm so sorry spcaecadet. Plese take care

georgeandwigglyjake · 05/02/2006 13:53

SC, I'm so sorry.

CaptainDippy · 05/02/2006 14:33

Spacecadet - You are a special, special lady and one of the most unselfish people that I know (even though I don't really "know" you, if you get what I mean!! ) I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now - you have so much on your plate right now, but please know that there are soooooo many people here who care about you deeply and who want to see life get better for you - which it will, in time. Keep concentrating on all that is wonderul and good in your life -like your four beautiful children - Look how much they love you and how much you love them. There is nothing more precious in the world than love and the love of a child is a huge priviledge.

I know that you feel that you should be holding your little baby girl in your arms right now; but take strength from the fact that she is safe and well and that although she is not being held in your arms right now - she is being held in the arms of God. He is rocking her and comforting her and there is no more pain and hurt and suffering for her there. I know that this is true.

God Bless you Spacecadet. Words just seem so inadequate right now and I wish that there was more I could do for you; just know that I am praying for you and thinking of you - You WILL come out of the other side of this - a better and stronger woman. Thank you for being so kind and loving to others - You are very loved and special.

All six of your child are wonderful, unique and special - and above all - Loved and Not forgotten.

spacecadet · 05/02/2006 19:03

thank you capatain dippy.

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Arabica · 05/02/2006 20:08

So sorry spacecadet. Thinking of you.

Flip

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