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Original poster

I should have been holding my daughter in my arms...

156 replies

spacecadet · 04/02/2006 21:45

..by now.
she was due 11th feb but i was scheduled for induction at 38 weeks.
I know most of you have followed my threads and know whats happened, but for those who dont, i lost my baby at 23 weeks of pregnancy and its just hit me full on now.
i just feel adesperate longing for my baby, i cant describe it, i feel so miserable

OP posts:
Nemo1977 · 04/02/2006 22:06

SC you dont have to be strong hun you just have to get through. You have had soo much happen it is unbelievable and you are constantly being kicked while you are down. You have a lot of people around you who are here to giving a helping hand and be strong for you!!use them to lean on and it will help get you through

Original poster
spacecadet · 04/02/2006 22:07

thank you.

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 04/02/2006 22:07

I think that's an excellent post by budababe - summarising everything I thought but couldn't quite manage to express.

Original poster
spacecadet · 04/02/2006 22:09

yes, thank you for your kind words budababe

OP posts:
Hulababy · 04/02/2006 22:09

I am so sorry Spacecadet

puff · 04/02/2006 22:10

sc, I don't have the words, but I am thinking of you.

puff xx

Aloha · 04/02/2006 22:15

Oh no spacecadet. Oh no. Oh I am so, so very sorry. What a shocking and terrible outcome. I am so sorry.

BudaBabe · 04/02/2006 22:22

SC when DH and I were going through a really bad patch a few years ago I wnetot a counsellor and as i was really close to leaving DH she talked me through what I woudl expect to feel. She likened it to grief at a death.

Anger, denial, guilt, and sadness.

Not necessarily in that order and would come at you whenever. I.E. so if one day you feel anger, don;t expect that that is it on the anger front. You will feel all those emotions on and off, in any order and back again, until it will start to gradually feel better.

So you are griveing for your baby and your relationship. It will take time. But you will get there.

Hugs

Aloha · 04/02/2006 22:24

The people at Sands (the neonatal deaths charity) may be helpful to you now. They will truly know what you are going through. I really had no idea this had happened to you and I'm so sorry.

morningpaper · 04/02/2006 22:24

so sorry Spacey

Caribbeanqueen · 04/02/2006 22:26

So sorry, spacecadet. Thinking of you.

vitomum · 04/02/2006 22:27

this must be such a hard time for you spacecadet - due dates and anniversaries are big big hurdles. you don't have to be strong, just keep going and crying along the way if you need to. thanks again a million for being so helpful and kind to me earlier on.

Yorkiegirl · 04/02/2006 22:30

Message withdrawn

GDG · 04/02/2006 22:31

SC, I don't know what to say, I just really feel for you and wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

harpsichordcarrier · 04/02/2006 22:32

SC I am so very sorry for your loss
HC xx

Original poster
spacecadet · 04/02/2006 22:37

i know i should contact SANDS but just cant seem to get round to it IYKWIM.

OP posts:
edam · 04/02/2006 22:39

So sorry SC.

JanH · 04/02/2006 22:40

Well you have got a lot of other stuff to be thinking about - and it is always easier to put things off - but I think from what's been posted about SANDS on here by other people who have gone through the same awful experience as you that it would be a huge help to you.

Could you arrange a reasonable chunk of time for yourself to do it tomorrow? I'm sure it would be so good for you to unload to someone who has been where you are (even if it means you can't even talk to them for crying).

blueteddy · 04/02/2006 22:41

Message withdrawn

biglips · 04/02/2006 22:43

im so sorry to hear youre feeling like this [[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]

lucy5 · 04/02/2006 22:46

So sorry

Mandymoo · 04/02/2006 22:54

sorry

threelittlebabies · 04/02/2006 23:24

SC, I am really sorry . I have been where you are now and really feel for you. You are right that one day it will ease, and your daughter will have a happier, less painful place in your family. Just do whatever is right for you now, and don't feel you "must" do anything if you can't face it. Take all the time you need. You are also right to think that this month is a huge milestone for you. You are not being selfish by the way- a friend of mine has 7 living children and 2 stillbirths and feels her pain as much as anyone. You love all your children and will naturally hurt having lost some of them, even having your lovely 4 around you.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, and am thinking of you and your daughter. I'm sure you have lots of friends on here, but please feel free to CAT me any time if I can help by talking with you. SANDS is not that active in my area, but I attended a hospital Parent's support group which I found invaluable, and one of my best friends is someone I met there. We speak daily and really help and support one another a lot.
Take care xx

Original poster
spacecadet · 05/02/2006 10:10

tlb, im sorry that you have suffered this too.

janh, my brains been a whirl lately, i have been seeing a counsellor privately, im afraid our gp's are pretty useless at arranging anything, i will contact SANDS on monday, being in a rural area though, im not sure if they will have any groups near me.

OP posts:
HellKat · 05/02/2006 10:11

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Oh sweetie. Words can't say how truly sorry I am.
Thinking of you.

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