Feeling very down, will I ever be have another baby?

[bunny2]

Since my second mc I cant seem to dig myself out of this hole, I am crying every day, drinking too much (though not loads), obsessing and feeling depressed. The more I search for answers the bleaker the picture gets. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gyneacologists have lots of info about recurrent miscarriage and I read on the site "A history of subfertility (conception delay greater than 12 months) is present in 25 -30% of women with recurrent miscarriage. It is frequently due to ovulatory disorders and confers a poor prognosis for future pregnancy outcome". Well, I took over 18 months to conceive after a m/c, then was diagnosed with ovulatory disorders and treated only to miscarry again.

So is that it? Should I give up having another baby? The thought breaks my heart.

that's wonderful to hear Bunny! I'm really pleased that you're on your way to some answers...and you sound positive, which is great! I had a bad day yesterday - but am going into town today for a girlie lunch with a friend and dd so that will be something to look forward to.
You should celebrate this weekend with your dh!
hana

Bunny2 - I have been following up on this thread to see how you are getting on. That is really good news. Well done for pushing for what is important to you

Bunny2 - this is a great outcome and looks like you have a fantastic consultant. Hope the rest of your appointments go just as well and you get an answer soon.

Thanks everyone, its great to share my good news!! Yes, I am still feeling happy and very relieved. Maybe even have some celebratory practice work tonight!

Hana, I hope your lunch was lovely. Be kind to yourself on down days, I am. Bxx

Quacks, what day is your appt? How are you today?

had a fab lunch today and a wonderful day (it's my birthday!!) Hubby is putting dd to sleep and I'm just about to open a lovely bottle of wine just for me! I'm not sharing!! Am looking forward (but that sounds funny) to my own appt in a few weeks time.....will be so nice to be on our way to hopefully getting some answers. So pleased you're feeling better bunny.

Fab news Bunny, your consultant sounds really good. I hope they sort it all out for you quickly xx

Had (lots of) positive tests Monday, Tuesday and even today but now having period and hospital bloods show miscarriage is inevidable. At least hospital and miscarriage unit have been fantastic. I feel s**t but I hope to have some answers soon to these miscarriages. PCOS is a possibitity but we have to wait and see. My appointment is the 15 so not long to wait. Hana - when is yours?

Bunny 2 and Hana - are you both actively trying before you get the results or waiting until you have some answers?

Oh no Eyelash. I'm so sorry. Is it really inevitable? Lots of sympathy and hugs to you.

I dont know what to do about waiting for tests. My consultant still thinks my mcs are most likely down to bad luck. He is confident if I get pg now, I have a very good chance of a successful pg. The thought of being pg again right now is so tempting but I feel, in my heart, it is best to wait for tests as it might help me when I do conceive. The thought of miscarrying again is so terrifying, I would rather know if I have a condition that is likely to cause another one. There again, if it happens before I have had the tests, part of me will be delighted. It is a very hard decision to make.

Hana, happy birthday, I am having a nice glass of red to toast you! (Only one, am trying to lose the stone I put on in my brief pregnancy).

CD, thanks.

reading this made me very sad hugs and xxxxx,s nikkixxxx

eyelash - what an awful weekend for you.. and now too....
My appt is Dec 16 and yes we were actively trying.....it had been nearly 6 weeks since m/c so a few days ago I thought - maybe I am! so did a test and of course it was negative and my period duely arrived the following day. Really pleased that it's started again, so that's something. I have requested blood tests now ( they will take them on Day 8 and then again 7 days before the next period) so that when I do see the consultant they'll have something to look at, not just me reviewing my history. The results from the second one won't be ready as that is only 2 days before the actual app. I'm not sure what they will show - the rational side of me does say that everything is normal, it's just really bad luck. But then other side wants some definate answers, which I know we won't really get. Have you ever had bloodwork done, or any other tests? Look after yourself these next few days, I know it's not an easy time for you....let us know how you're getting on. I know being able to get to this site, especially in the last few months has made me feel that I'm not alone and it's not all doom and gloom in terms of having another baby. We'll get there! And how special they will be when they do get here.

Gosh alot has gone on in the last 24 hrs.
Firstly Happy belated birthday for yesterday Hana. Bet that wine was fab!!! I can't believe your appointment in so soon now, it's great that all of you are getting such good support and rightly so.

Bunny, you sound 100% better! I am so happy for you. I agree with your consultant. I think alot are due to bad luck, chromosomal make up for that particular egg. But it is so reassuring to have everything checked just to make sure!!!! Lots of love
Eyelash, I'm so sorry this is happening again to you. Take care , we're all here - all the time really if you need to chet.

My appointment is Tuesday at 3.45, making me wait all day. I'm ok, but every day is so diff. I have had bad sickness but boobs not sore anymore. Who knows. Have to wait and see. Love to allxxxxxx

Hello all - apologies in advance for hijacking this thread.

I have taken the decision to have a few days off work to gather my strength. Definitly having a miscarriage - amazing how heavy it is considering I am only a few days late. When I look at previous threads and Twinkie's current one I realise I am not badly off and logically can see that the miscarriages are probably happening for a very good reason. Apart from my first miscarriage at 7/8 weeks, I have mine just past the stage of periods so nobody would even know we were pregnant.

But on a positive, these experiences have taught me to appreciate my dss so much. I am glad it is happening this way around after I had the boys and not the other way around. Heard DH tell ds1 that I was a bit sad as I had thought I had a baby in my tummy. He replied that we could have a baby after Christmas instead and that his brother and he were my babies anyway. Very sweet. I have still sent them to nursery though but will pick them up early for a treat.

I am now going to lose the stone and a half I need to shed in the next couple of months. I think taking control of my diet etc, while probably not making a difference will mean that I feel I am doing everything possible to help the next pregnancy along. Anybody fancy a diet buddy?

Hana - thanks so much for your kind words. It will be interesting to see how our consultations will differ. I am very impressed with the unit and how they dealt with me over the last couple of days and they have certainly inspired my confidence. As for your bloods, although you won't have the second set in front of you it means you are still saving a months time as otherwise they would have to do them the following month.

Quackers - I really hope you get the news you expect next Tuesday. While the wait between ovulation and periods is awful, I think the wait for a first scan, especially after a miscarriage, is the worst.

Eyelash, that's a lovely post. I have been thinking of you. You sound like you have a lot of this in perspective. You also have an appointment very soon which is very good news on the moving on side of things. I think the unit you attend is very proactive!
I did just that after my second m/c, went and lost half a stone and it has made a huge difference. Would love to be more but I'm happy I did my best - it's all you can do. So take care and thanks for your good wishes, they are greatly appreciated. I am resisting leaving this thread as so many friends are on here and Ilove chatting and being supportive to each other.
xxx

Eyelash - so sorry to hear about this - I thought things had gone a bit quiet on the Lpool/NW meet-up front. I do hope that you found the Women's to be sympathetic - they were very good with me when I had my m/c there and subsequently when I had DD early. I went to their m/c support group which used to run every 1st Thursday eve in the month - I got so much support from this group even though I was a wreck, it gave me the confidence to try again. I am not sure if it is still running as the nurse who runs it was off sick last time I hear, but I can get you her number she is brilliant. Lots of mums go who are also on Dr F's list.
Lots of hugs to you. If you want to meet up for a 1-2-1 just let me know. xxx

Eyelash, if you want a diet buddy, I'm here. Trying to lose a bit (used to be about a stone overweight, now it's about 2 stone ). Let's support each other.

Quacks, the sickness is such a good sign. I am going to send out some very lucky vibes to you. I can imagine how fraught you must be right now but we are all here crossing our fingers and praying for you.

Hana, did you have a good birthday? You are right, our next babies are going to be so treasured by us arent they?

Nikki, I have been following the thread you started with loads of interest. My dh is from a different culture but luckily things have been ok for us.

great birthday, thanks
have just been doing some christmas shopping for people back home on the net...finishing off that wine...have prob spent far too much! Really really must drag myself up to bed now. Hope you're all well. Quacks -one day closer to Tuesday now

Hello all, gosh some of you stay up late. Well, just posted on pg after m/c and I have some spotting today. I don't really feel that sick and boobs not sore really anymore. Now I don't know what to do as no EPU and my Doc away. I will probably have to wait till my scan on Tuesday. Can't tell DH. I REALLY couldn't cope with this again. Sorry to be a downer. It's crap.

Quackers - if you have no epu near you can you ring the local midwife team and see what they suggest. I don't think it matters if you haven't been assigned one yet. I was told if I had bleeding at the weekend in my area I could go to a&e and they would arrange a scan. Might be worth a try. I am thinking of you but get on the phone asap even just to put your mind at rest. I had spotting with ds1 and very heavy bleeding with ds2 so there is hope.

Bunny2 - I started diet yesterday so I suggest we start a new thread. What do you think.

Moomicat - I was going to try and revive the Liverpool thread but never got around to it. Give me a ring if you'd like to meet up. TBH I really don't fancy a miscarriage group at the moment. Maybe it's because I am going to the clinic in less than 10 days and I hope to get some answers there. Hope to see you soon.

Oh quackers, I really hope it's nothing. I'll be thinking about you and sending best wishes.

Eyelash, I don't have a midwife. I'm out in the sticks a bit! Just my GP and the hospital. I wondered, do you know, at 6.3wks, it might be hard to see a heartbeat anyway??

quackers - i had a scan at about 6 wks and it is very hard to see heartbeat - they told me to come back at about 9 wks
good luck

Quackers - how are you? You should be able to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks. But if your dates are slightly out then you might not although you should see the sac. So worth trying for a scan. Could you ring the scan place and see if they could see you today rather than Tuesday?

Thank you eyelash, you;re very kind, given everything that's happened too.

I have had nothing else since but just feel less sick etc.... I have decided to wait until Tuesday as I couldn't bear going for a scan again to be told to come back a week later and them cancelling my Tuesaday app't. I didn't ov till day 16 so it would be harder I suppose to get a heartbeat. I'm sort of thining now that I will at least get reffered to St Mary's as it's 3 in a row, but it was the last thing I (or anyone for that matter) would want in an ideal world. I cannot waste any more enrgy and tears on this. I feel as thought he whole year has been one long cry. Time to do something about it. Thanks for your thoughts. Much appreciated!

Quacks I hope that this doesn't come true for both of us, but do you know if you can get referred after 3 m/c to St Mary's where ever you live and on the NHS

Yes NIkNik. In her book the consultant lesley Reagan says she has patients form all over the country. I live on an Island and the government here would pay for me to go, which if necessary is good. I think most GP's use StMary's or Licerpool Women's Hopital. My Doc also said St Thomas', but I can't find anyhting on them. I do hope it doesn't come to it too. Hope you're ok.xxx You can ask your Doc for some initial tests after 2. Have you maybe thought about that?