Feeling very down, will I ever be have another baby?

[bunny2]

Since my second mc I cant seem to dig myself out of this hole, I am crying every day, drinking too much (though not loads), obsessing and feeling depressed. The more I search for answers the bleaker the picture gets. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gyneacologists have lots of info about recurrent miscarriage and I read on the site "A history of subfertility (conception delay greater than 12 months) is present in 25 -30% of women with recurrent miscarriage. It is frequently due to ovulatory disorders and confers a poor prognosis for future pregnancy outcome". Well, I took over 18 months to conceive after a m/c, then was diagnosed with ovulatory disorders and treated only to miscarry again.

So is that it? Should I give up having another baby? The thought breaks my heart.

Quacks - You live on an Island???

Is it your own?

I thought you were in the UK.... just shows you the assumptions we make.

What tests are those Quacks

Quackers - that is good news about your spotting. Fingers crossed for the rest of the weekend.

Just thought I'd add that mil said today that my miscarriages could be due to the fact I was carrying girls (both my children are boys) - most unhelpful!!!!!!

Quackers
Really hope everything is alright for you..

M2T, still british isles, no where exotic!

NikNIk, they can take your bloods to test all your hormonesthyroid etc... Suggest it to your Doc, I'm sure they would oblige. It would be FSH,LH progesterone. Just to rule out a hormonal prob.

Had a little more spotting this afternoon and some little cramps. Guess that's it then. Symptoms hardly there. I just don't know what to say. Told DH and whilst lovely we just don't know what to say. It seems to have taken over my life. What did I think about before trying for a second baby? I've no idea. I seem to have lost my sense of fun and ambition. I just can't stop crying today. I feel like my life is one big blip. It's been an awful year. I'm 30 next Saturday, it;s not going to be much fun.

Oh Quackers, I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I do have my fingers crossed that things will work out ok for you. I have spent the last year trying, with one mc as you know, and the last few months trying and I know how down I can feel, so I can only imagine how bad you are feeling right now. Please try and stay strong, sending you a very big hug.

Oh quackers I am so sorryfor you.
my thoughts are with you at the moment.
you know where we all are if you want to chat
{{hugs{}}}

I hope and pray that this is just a scare. I'm so, so sorry otherwise. It's just not fair.

Quackers - my thoughts and prayers are with you - I really mean that. Don't lose heart. You are NOT alone.

Quack, just caught up, I am so, so sorry that you have this worry to cope with again. I hope you will get the news you desperately want on Tuesday but in the meantime you have to deal with the agony of not knowing. Is dh being kind and supportive? He must be frantic too. God, some of us do suffer dont we? I wish I could give you some dort of reassurance but I cant. We are all here though, pls lean on us for support. Bunnyxxx

Quackers, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this again. I just hope that everything turns out OK. Echo Azure's thoughts of it not being fair, it just isn't.

Quackers, I've just caught up with this......what can I say? So so hoping for the best for you. It's going to be a long wait so spend it with your dh and little one doing lovely things....let us know how you're getting on. You've been such a bright light here for so many of us, hope we can give some back to you right now
sending a hug and lots of hope
hana

Quackers,,,my heart goes out to you. I am so very sorry that you have to go through this again. You know that we are all here for you.

Quackers - how are you this morning?

God bless, all of you. I REALLY don't know how I would be if I couldn't log on and see all these lovely messages for me. Sorry to hijack your thread Bunny though!
I cried and cried so much last night. I so want to appreciate what I have got, but It's hard not to feel selfish and ask why why why!
Today, I feel the same I suppose, less symptoms, full feeling as if af on it's way.
Is there anyone who's had 3 m/c's in a row here? I know it's still possible to have a baby but at what cost?? I mean emotionally. I already feel detached and as if it's taken over. I do think I might have to just forget for a good six months. As I say I am 30 this week, so have a little time. Just DD would so much love a sibling, it's her I REALY feel sorry for.
Eyelash you're up bright and early, hoow are you?
Hana that was a lovely comment, thank you everyone, keep posting - please, it helps so much!! xxxxx

Quackers - I have just logged on to see how you are. Have you had any more bleeding. Sorry to ask again and I understand you live on an island, but is there anyway you can have a scan before Tuesday.

I am in the throes of my third in a row this year - had first in June, second in September and now third. First two at 5 weeks and this one at four and a half. At least mine were all very early and I can console myself that if I wasn't so desperate to be pregnant then I probably wouldn't even have known. I had another one over two years ago between ds1 and ds2 at 7/8 weeks which dragged on for about 3 weeks. All in all very upsetting.

Please please look after yourself.

Oh Quackers I really hope and pray that things are still okay.
Is your scan still scheduled for Tuesday?

Haven't had much chance to post lately, but thinking of everyone on this thread...

Eyelash, please don't say that. As soon as you know you;re pg, then it's an obvious and painful oss no matter when it is. I knew you had 3 but wasn't sure if they were in a row and you have had one earlier too. Will you be referred on now too then, I remeber you saying about Lvrpool Women's? Are they good? I am in the Isle of Man, so not far from you I beleive. I can easily get a scan, they know me well here but it would have been borderline seeing a heartbeat and they just would have sent me back a week later and would be worse, that's why I'm hanging on for Tues as I will be 7 weeks. Told my Mum, she;s a nurse and is able to come with me to everything as she is at the hospital anyway and having her sat next to me in her uniform seems to help!!
Anyway, tiny spotting again today, but that's how they all have started. They have all been so different though.
First was 15 weeks, but the baby was 8.
Second I was 5.5 weeks, empty sac
Third, 6.5 weeks.
God only knows why, pray we will all get the chance to have healthy babies, given time and some support from the medical know all's.
xxxx

Quackers - there is still hope though. Although it pays to be realistic it might not turn out to be a miscarriage. I had spotting with ds1 and very heavy bleed with ds2 so you never know.

I didn't understand 'but the baby was 8' line. Can you explain.

If it does happen - and it might not - the Women's in Liverpool has been superb so far. Check out their website. Although I had only had 2 miscarriages in a row, the earlier one and the fact I have had bleeding with all my pregnancies convinced the doctor they would accept my referral. I am also 36 so getting old now. The time from my doctor referring me to my appointment is only 8 weeks which is pretty good. And I had my appointment letter through in a month. I have been so impressed with the way they dealt with me this week - really superb. It says on the website that 60% of their patients come from outside Liverpool as well.

DH and I had a good chat last night and have decided to try for a bit longer. We'll give it 6 months or so to begin with and then see what happens. We had a lovely meal out with the boys tonight who behaved impeccibly in the restaurant and generally we are feeling much better about things.

Thinking of you all tonight.

eyelash..could it mea that the baby stopped developing at 8 weeks?

Eyelash - sorry I didn;t get round to ringing you this afternoon - I had a little sleep as I was feeling a little tired and chesty after xmas shopping in town (am currenlty suffering a bit with a cold and asthma kicking in) and then woke up 2 hours later. oooops. Anyway, just read your messages and do hope you are feeling a little more positive. If its any help, I was told that I should wait 3 months to try again (Maybe we were told that to calm us down after being so upset) as cycles etc take a while longer to re-regulate. Dunno how true this is, and in any event we were too traumatised to try again until around 6m last time. What sort of old wives tale is that about miscarrying girls? Don't mean to be disrepectful about your mil but ehhhh?????

Cyber hugs and lots of red wine - if you want to ring me, please feel free - in case you don;t have it (can't remember if we swopped at the meetup) its 722 6144. This number is on my website so i'm not giving out anything not already in the public domain.

Speak soon, take care and thinking of you

Quacks, one of my biggest concerns, after my 2nd mc, was that I was letting ds down by not giving him a sibling. I remember tearfully telling a friend that ds was lonely and would miss out if he was an only child. She reassured me that this just wasnt the case, that ds is a very happy little boy with two absolutely devoted parents and surrounded by lots of love and laughter. She said he wouldnt miss out because we were providing such a wonderful environment for him to grow up in. Her reassurance made me feel a bit better. I am sure it is the same for your little girl, she has lovely parents and lots of love so she will have a happy childhood whether she has siblings or not. Pls dont let guilt add to your worries right now. I hope you are ok. >Bunnyxxx

Quackers - I am 34 and have had 2 mcs, then a lovely baby, then an mc. I am still really positive - I really believe I will have more babies (hope to have 2). If I lose more on the way then so be it - it is not my fault. I share these feelngs with you I hope to help you - you are much younger. I didn't even start trying at all until I was 31. ANyway, fingers crosssed that this one works out. I had spotting with my lovely baby. Bunny2 - hope you are OK.