Christmas hope - our safe haven thread for bereaved parents.

[shabbapinkfrog]

Hope....for the bereaved parent; even at Christmas, one of the most painful times of the year, there is an essence of hope. Hope....it is hope that sustains us through the days of grief and anger and frustration and loneliness.

The hope that someday the pain of the deaths of our children will be eased. The hope that someday our smiles will be real.

So, it is that for each of you I would hope....peace, compassion, love, sympathy, understanding, sharing and listening. In the sharing of our grief with one another, and in the emotional support we give to one another, we receive and understand all of these gifts.

Remembering my precious sons....and all of your precious children at this difficult time of year.

Sounds like a good day Karma and Miasmummy Well done both xx

Smiles and tears, I guess. Good to feel a little better, even if it's for a moment.

I love the rainbow, Karma, it's a definite sign. I found a white feather in the downstairs loo yesterday, and I smiled and thought, 'Oh Mia, you did have a such a fascination with touching everything in the loo, and you still do, don't you??" I love her little sense of humour...

Mia thanks, been resting up and just trying to feel better today. Good luck at the meeting tonight, hope it goes well xx

karma added you also :) Drs went well, didn't need anti biotics as my throat is just red and sore but no infection, just a virus. Have to keep up with the paracetamol and fluids etc. The coffee sounds nice, it's good to get out, I find it helps. Lovely that you saw a rainbow xx

excuse my bad language .. but fuckety fuck...

We are really bad at not erasing our answering machine messages... when they are done playing they dont say press this to delete so they tend to pile up and then we clear out a whole bundle at a time

No prizes for guessing who one of the messages was from

and please can someone go tell my mil that my xmas tree is up, my shopping is near enough done, my house is clean and today i had a friend for lunch, did the school run and took ross to karate
so I am bloody well getting on with life and just because i am not going to work this week doesnt mean I am not living my life ...

sorry for the rant .. tomorrow will be better.. yes it will

frasers tomorrow is going to be better

just popping in. sad and beautiful thing this morning..DD1 sai d
'i want christmas, Leo is going to come back' and i had to say 'no, hes not dear'..and she said 'he's coming back in the hospital jet, he's got better'

i wanted it to be true so much i almost couldn't tell her it wasn't going to happen. Such a beautiful idea, little Leo happy in a jet, flying home..I managed to say it wasn't going to happen.

went to work to sulk at my desk all day..
he didn't enjoy last xmas much, he was so sick. but i put the decorations he and DD1 made last year up (after crying alot)

rambling.

Frasers, you are waaaaaay ahead of me! I have my Christmas tree up but no lights or decorations apart from an angel decoration that my cousin's wife sent us, it's so lovely. I think dh thought I wasn't decorating the tree on purpose, because of Sylvie-Rose but it's not that I don't want to decorate it, I just find it hard to muster up the energy and the enthusiasm.
Edgar, it's so hard, isn't it? Our ds4 thought Sylvie-Rose would come back. One thing Santa won't bring.

yes, my DH was putting off decorating, but we had to because DD1 wanted it..feel better now its done.

and frasers going to work (or not) isn't the be all and end all - you're quite right. better a bearable day at home, than an unbearable one at work.

fm you didn't exactly do nothing, did you?? That is a huge amount.

I did my meeting, and managed to hold it all together, even contribute a little bit. Only afterwards, when the chair came to hug me, did I cry. But I am glad I went, and I think there will be some work I could usefully do for them next year.

Well done, Mias! So difficult but now you've done one, you will be able to do another. Proud of you and have a

My friend told me that I was "very strong & brave" today - but i ain't got nothing on you ladies... I'm in awe of you, all of you.

I feel a gibbering wreck. I've always been prone to being overemotional. I watched Baby Hospital this year, and would cry, for up to an hour afterwards (never imagining that I may actually know the pain for real.

And now I'm still crying, not just for me, but for you too. Your beautiful little ones that you've lost.

This damned awful world where good does not triumph over evil, where innocent little ones get taken away.

I'm sorry for being overemotional again - I'm going to blame it on damned hormones, and this bloody migraine I've had for hours.

You ladies are incredibly special though xx

karma you are brave, and you were brave today, but just you are very sad at the moment. I think it's probably quite natural to feel the loss of others far more keenly because of Tamsin, (and then you have hormones and a migraine to deal with as well.) At least, that's what I tell myself as turn the TV off due to something vaguely sad...as for Pamper ads, I just can't look at them.

Oh yes the pampers ads! The one that shows the baby on the scan, I just can't watch it. Keep getting things through the door from them as well

Morning everyone.
It really is a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment isn't it? I went in to work on monday and stayed for a couple of hours to help out. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Went home at lunchtime and pottered around for the rest of the day and actually felt happy. Tuesday I spent the whole day feeling terribly guilty!
We are having a tree, but I won't put loads of decorations on it. My DH bought a 6" tree for Jacob's grave and my parents have sent flowers so we are putting them on today.
Hope you all have a good day today, or at least get through it gently.

Morning girls .... I am ignoring the white stuff that is falling from the sky but thankfully, up to now, is not sticking

Morning ladies xx

Morning, been awake since 6.30 but I think I'm over the worst of this bug, still feel crap but slightly less so than yesterday! I need a

Yes crazy to take him in. Tom went on a school trip last night. They went to the outdoor ice rink in Manchester!! He had two Xmas pressies a bit early - new pair of jeans, and a lovely navy blue hoodie.....took his clothes up to school so he could get changed. He came out and looked so trendy and handsome. He is already about 6 inches taller than me. A big group of girls came up to stand with him waiting for the coach. He gave me the look that said 'go away NOW!!'

They stood with him laughing and acting daft. One, very beautiful, young lady said 'You must be Toms mum he looks just like you!!' I walked back down to ours, laden down with his school bag, uniform etc etc...smiled all the way down the street!!!

He has been known as the 'Geek' for so long at school but now, as they are starting the run up to their GCSE's he has become 'comfy' with himself. He has become more confident and, to his suprise, very popular.

Im so proud of my 'late baby' - the baby that was born a few months before my 41st birthday - the baby that everybody said I was mad to be having. Well done that lad......all your brothers are so proud of you xxxxx

Oh I am soooo of your snow. I'm right on the south coast and none here.

Tough call Everlomg I'd be tempted to stay home unless he really really wants to go.

Glad you're feeling a bit better Cheese

I feel the same Tallulah guilty if I have a good day. But I try and shake it by telling myself Erin wouldn't want me to be sad all the time.

So pleased that as of 1.30pm today I will have 2 whole weeks with Katie

I wouldnt bother everlong.... ds wont miss anything important

its quite a blanket here.. I hate driving in it and ross wants to get out in it .. so we are going to walk..

I laughed at bbc breakfast... they actually said... we were promised snow overnight but it didnt happen. There is no snow ... if you know different please let us know... I wanted to say ... ask your Glasgow studio..

shabs at Tom.

everlong I wouldn't take him either, enjoy a dao on the sofa with xmas films instead.

fm I had that exact same thought at the bbc earlier, I'm in North Lanarkshire adn woke up to a blanket of the white stuff too.

Oh, I have name changed, used to be janedoe.

Hope you all have a good day.x

Oooh at all the snow. It's dark, wet and miserable here!

Snow here in Cambridge!

OK ladies, I am sorry some of you have snow today. BUT will you please pray there is no snow between Cornwall and Heathrow on Sunday. I don't think I could face a long delay. I wouldn't bother sending your kids to school today, they aren't going to learn anything give them a treat. xxx

Tom is delighted - Danny and Lew came to pick him up and take him up to school on their way to nursery. Thank God they did because it looks like a blizzard out there!!!