Christmas hope - our safe haven thread for bereaved parents.

[shabbapinkfrog]

Hope....for the bereaved parent; even at Christmas, one of the most painful times of the year, there is an essence of hope. Hope....it is hope that sustains us through the days of grief and anger and frustration and loneliness.

The hope that someday the pain of the deaths of our children will be eased. The hope that someday our smiles will be real.

So, it is that for each of you I would hope....peace, compassion, love, sympathy, understanding, sharing and listening. In the sharing of our grief with one another, and in the emotional support we give to one another, we receive and understand all of these gifts.

Remembering my precious sons....and all of your precious children at this difficult time of year.

Morning ladies,

Wise words as always shabs and lavandes.

karma please don't leave the thread, I really hope you are ok?

Has anyone heard how Dee is?

Great minds think alike Lavandes. It just hit me yesterday that I hadn't seen her on here or FB. I sent her a private message on FB asking was she OK. Im sure she put on there last week that they wanted her to go in hospital to rest. Not heard back from her yet. Will let you know asap if I hear anything xx

Any fags and coffee left lying around ?

I feel knackered this morning . Going to get boys o school and then come back and slob out .

Shabs , you are right , all will be well here , as you say we have been through similar and we are all still here x

Plenty of cheap duty free fags here TW they nearly give them away at Singapore airport. Please join us bad girls!! xx (goes round with the Oust cos workmen are coming later)

Morning girls. I'll join you for a coffee and a ciggie. My giving up isn't, er, going particularly well.

Ooohh Lavandes I like being classed as a 'bad girl' much more interesting than being well behaved

Please join us AMAW Who's bringing the choccie biccies? might as well be really bad!!! xx

Well as it happens I made some chocolate brownies last night passes plate around
They have fuit and nuts in so are completely healthy, ahem. Take two!

YUM!!! delicious, one of my five a day xx

That made me Shabs

I don't like chicken crisps anyway

I do however like choc brownies AMAW and as it is my birthday I think I will have a couple .

Happy birthday tw it is also my son's lovely partner's birthday, we are going to skype later, please will you all make a lot os noise so the baby wakes up and I can see him. xx

Happy Birthday TW - have a smashing day love. xxx

hi there all. Happy birthday tw

shabs it's a little cold standing out here, even with and AMAW's delicious looking brownies. Can we go back inside soon? Sure I saw a nice warm cafe around the corner, which might offer bacon sarnies...

Morning all xx

Fruit salad without clotted cream is not allowed round here! Well done Everlong xx

Just heard from Deemented. Sounds like they dragged her into hospital for rest!!! She is hoping to be at home over the next few days and says that baby is still where it should be!! Told her everybody has been asking about her. xxxx

Wow just had a read back and certainly missed a few things on here

karma I hope you're ok, I've had 6 miscarriages and also Scarlett Niamh was stillborn at 37 weeks in December 2010 and I can honestly say that, for me, there is no comparison. Having a baby die and then give birth to her just isn't on the same scale as my early losses. I was induced and laboured then gave birth (breech) to her, it was exactly the same labour as with my live children. It hurt just as much and was every bit as real. We buried her and visit her grave. Just isn't the same for me. I hope you come back to the thread.

Things have been slightly eventful here today, we've been ill and dh started coughing up blood this morning so off to a&e we went worried that it could be another blood clot but thankfully it's not. They said he has bronchitis and that all the coughing has broken some vessels, his platelet count is low again so this explains it apparently. He's now sleeping on the sofa and his chest sounds awful, they had him on a nebuliser while he was there too which helped a lot but now he sounds terrible again.

I had a ctg done today too and baby seems ok in there. Little worried as my sugar levels are dropping a lot so I'm waiting for the diabetic nurse to contact me. Scan and clinic on Friday so I may ask what this means for delivery. I was told on Friday that 36 weeks would be it for inducement but we didn't set an actual date (although I think the 20th Feb was mentioned) as I'm not sure I can hold out and also not sure how baby will be.

So nervous that something will go wrong still. I guess we need to wait on the growth scan and take it from there, they'll check the placenta and blood flow too and if it looks bad at all then she'll be delivered. 33+3 now and had the steroids so all should be ok if she needed to come out, plus she was a good weight at the last scan already.

Hope everyone's getting on ok xx

happy birthday tw!

Hi everyone .

Everything is fine & I think we can agree heightened emotions can lead so easily to misunderstandings.

I am very sensitive at the moment, and in the transition phase with antidpressants, which is always risky with me.

I am overly sensitive to feelings surrounding stillbirth, I remember when my friend suffered one, I didn't truly comprehend her feelings. I remember when DS was small, thinking how much worse it would be for something to happen to him, as I had memories of him, but now I know the truth - as shabba said, there is question that any death of a beloved child is the worst kind of pain. I know that I love Tamsin just as deeply as I love DD1 or DS - and I love DD1 who's 19 months, just as much as DS who's 20. I figure love for a child is unconditional, and overwhelming.

My biggest regret (and one which makes me hypersensitive in RL) is that I'm robbed of memories - I had another DD, but I have nothing she touched, no photos to show of her alive, and (it seems to me) makes her 'not real', but that is my issue to deal with.

accident how you doing? How did you get your name? David was very close in age to DS. I'm so sorry to hear about your flashbacks, and the awful day you had yesterday xx

TW Happy Birthday! A fellow Aquarian xx

I've name-changed a few times. I wanted to call myself Karma Chameleon, but it was taken, and karma three fold is sort of the pagan idea of what you do to others comes back to you x3.

cheese Wow, talk about rough! I hope DH gets better soon, and I hope everything goes well for you & bubs - got everything crossed for you xx

happy birthday tw

Karma, im doing better than yesterday.
How did i get my name... well, its a long story! im very clumsy and when DD was little she used to say oh mummy you are accident prawn instead of prone and i thought about using it for my name!

I think we all understand that heightened emotions can lead to huge misunderstandings.

Happy birthday TW :)

Glad you're back karma, I know what you mean about feeling sensitive about things, I get that a lot.