Christmas hope - our safe haven thread for bereaved parents.

[shabbapinkfrog]

Hope....for the bereaved parent; even at Christmas, one of the most painful times of the year, there is an essence of hope. Hope....it is hope that sustains us through the days of grief and anger and frustration and loneliness.

The hope that someday the pain of the deaths of our children will be eased. The hope that someday our smiles will be real.

So, it is that for each of you I would hope....peace, compassion, love, sympathy, understanding, sharing and listening. In the sharing of our grief with one another, and in the emotional support we give to one another, we receive and understand all of these gifts.

Remembering my precious sons....and all of your precious children at this difficult time of year.

With regards to the cider TW - me too!!!! Unfortunatly I have never learnt or fully appreciated the evilness of the brew!!

And it is my birthday tomorrow by the way so I do think I should have a couple of drinks And no work tomorrow

Happy 21st birthday for tomorrow my friend. You should have a glass of this 'Frosty Jacks white cider!!'

Cheers girls! I'm enjoying a christmas leffe beer.

I can't bear to hear my mum cry over the phone. The only time I saw her cry before was when my lovely Granny died. I feel so awful for giving her and dad such bad news.

AMAW what does your Mumsnet nickname mean? Is it initials from names in your family? I love knowing how everyone got their nicknames. Mine is what my friends little boy calls me and then one of my lovely MN friends said I was as mad as a pinkfrog

AMAW , it is hard to hear the ones we love in such pain but I am sure they want to be there to help hold you upright atm .

Frosty Jacks ? Was more a strongbow girl myself , or whatever was the cheapest

Hi Shabba. It's a really rubbish name. I tried lots of others but they were all taken. In desperation I tried my initials and it was accepted.
Out of interest, how mad is a pink frog, compared to say, a purple frog?

I do hope karma comes back.
I'll have a large glass of red but sadly virtual only as dh and I have no-wine-on-schoolnights rule.

Dh always called me chipmunk but it and chipmonk were taken so I ended up with this one! Have tried changing it but hate not being recognised.

Hi travelling and happy birthday for tomorrow.

I know my parents would do anything to make it better for me and they have comforted me so much already. I just hate to see them so sad. They would be devastated if they felt I had kept any of it from them.

Cheers TW happy birthday for tomorrow my friend. Will toast you with a Schloer

Shabs I find that the most incredible thing about Alzheimer's the different effect it has on long term and short term memory. My lovely Nan used to regale us with tales of the war and sneaking off to dances with my grandad with absolute clarity but remembering something from 2 weeks before, completely impossible. Your mum sounds fab.

Oh I reckon pinkfrogs are the most insane and weird of any coloured frogs LOL

shabba

Yep - that does look as mad as I am!!!

tw a big birthday cheers for you tomorrow! Hope you are going to be spoilt on your day off.

shabba, AMAW and chip thanks for the name explanations, love them. I particularly like the vision of shabba now, thanks to chip's link " This colourful frog has long legs that end with slim fingers so they can manage to move easily in their habitat". Sounds very graceful and elegant! MY MN name is too easy, but I love being able to use my beautiful girl's name, we took such a long time to choose it.

So everyone else - would love to know how you chose your names?!?

It is a beautiful name, but of course I'm biased as I share one of them :-)

I wish I'd used Rufus's name. I feel in staying anonymous I've let him down somehow.

Ah mine is back to my dnan - she always used to say 'I'll be there - whatever the weather' and it just popped into my head when I was namechanging. I've had it about 2 years now and don't think I'll change it even though I do think it's a bit long and clunky.

Oh dear, things are not looking very happy here tonight. Not sure what has gone on but hugs all around.

karma please stay; there are many many different types of loss on this thread, not one child's death is more valid than the other. Every single baby and child, whatever they're age has a mother that loves and grieves them and that is why we are here, supporting eachother. Just as shab has said. You seem to be feeling so very alone in RL right now and in my early raw days I wouldn't have got by without my 'virtual world'.

My name was originally CazEM (My RL nickname, middle and surname initials), then it was CazandBelle (obvious really!) and now CazBX is my RL nickname, B for Belle and X for Xander!

tw happy birthday :)

Caz - more than sure everything will be fine here as I said before 'United we stand, divided we fall' xx

Morning girls xx

Morning ladies xx

Gosh whatever is going on here. All I can say (and please everyone don't take this the wrong way) is that on this thread we are all bereaved and very distraught at times. We are all in the 'same boat'. Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen and it has happened to us all. It does not matter what the age of the child is, my son was 34 and his death nearly 2 years ago has ripped me apart.

I will never forget the love and support I have gained from posting here from all my 'virtual friends'. This is where I come to let it all out, it is MY safe haven. I have never told anyone in real life (including my husband, he would never understand). I come here to share, shout, scream, sometimes laugh, and help if I can, and I have never been judged and I would never judge anyone else. We have been able to talk freely and I would hate it if that changed.

I wish you all a more peaceful day today and hope everyone keeps posting and that we can continue to support eachother. I echo Shabs 'United we stand'!! xxx

Morning all x

Lavandes our thread will not change my dear friend. We have had problems like this before and still we are here. I give you my word that this special, special thread will NOT change.

LOL xxxxx

Hope not Shabs sit down, would you like to join me for a coffee and a fag? (that makes me look bad) xx

I've just had a coffee but another fag would be brilliant - thanks Lavandes. xxxxx