Christmas hope - our safe haven thread for bereaved parents.

[shabbapinkfrog]

Hope....for the bereaved parent; even at Christmas, one of the most painful times of the year, there is an essence of hope. Hope....it is hope that sustains us through the days of grief and anger and frustration and loneliness.

The hope that someday the pain of the deaths of our children will be eased. The hope that someday our smiles will be real.

So, it is that for each of you I would hope....peace, compassion, love, sympathy, understanding, sharing and listening. In the sharing of our grief with one another, and in the emotional support we give to one another, we receive and understand all of these gifts.

Remembering my precious sons....and all of your precious children at this difficult time of year.

Hi............such sad sad posts............I coped by telling myself that NY was just another day another date, no different to any other day without him. Its hard, very hard, it breaks your heart, know that you will never stop loving them, that they are yours forever, smile when you think of them as I am know they will be watching over us, they live within us every second of every day..........bless you all, bless all our children xx

Our precious children will be forever, and ever, and ever our precious children. We will remain their Mums for time and eternity. They know we love them and we know they love us. It doesn't matter how old they were when they died....it doesn't matter what was the cause.....the bond between a Mum and a child is like no other. 2012 is just a number. In 2012 my Gareth died 30 years ago and in 2012 my Matt died 20 years ago.....both events seem like yesterday. xxxx

oh Shabs xx

Morning girls xx

Mias and Whatever that's how I feel, that going on to 2012 is leaving Sylvie-Rose behind but in another way, and I hope this doesn't sound too morbid, it's slightly less time until I see her again. God, that does sound morbid, doesn't it?

Listen to shabs, she's way wiser than I am!

Hello everyone, hopeing next year can some how bring us all some peace as we continue along life's road with our beautiful children in our hearts if not our arms xx

Wishing you all a peaceful New Year. An odd one for me as Scarlett died only weeks before the end of 2010 so we didn't get her in 2011 at all, yet it still felt like the same year. We'll be visiting her tomorrow again. xx

Things I have learnt this year:

Never ever take anything for granted, life can change very quickly.
Listen to yourself; your instincts will nearly always be right.
That it is possible to function seemingly normally with a broken heart.
That I have a wonderful relationship that can withstand the hardest of times.
That love and support can come from the most unexpected sources.
That I have a lot of very lovely friends, new and old.
That my family is amazing.
That no matter what it is impossible not to smile and laugh with my beautiful Katie around.
That I love my children more than I ever thought possible.

For us 2011 will always be Erin's year. She has taught me so much xx

Sorry to those on my fb who will already have seen this.

Wishing you a gentle and peaceful new year xx

The oddest thing happened to day, on xmas eve we bought Jacob some things, solor powered lights and mr men pots with cactus in them, I also bought a wooden owl on a stick as when we came home from hospital there was an owl sat in the tree behind our house, had never seen one before and haven't seen one since.

Anyway it was only a cheep wooden one on a stuck and I broke it trying to put the stick in the ground but still left it with him, anyway it's realy windy up there, on a hill and my fil is three rows behind , Jacob is with my dad and dfil is with my nephew who was born asleep at 7 months 10 years ago, my dad diednearly 17 years ago now.

The owl had blown away but when we went to put flowers on dfils resting place (he died a year ago in the morning) the owl was there

It helps me believe they are still with us and giving us sighns and hopefully Jacob is with his grandads and his cousin x

Just want to say to you all to look into this New Year with an open mind and heart, try not to spend too long looking back, you know what was there. Instead look forward, nothing stays the same way forever..............in time the tears and heartbreak will soften, never will they go away forever, but a day will come when you will smile again.................I promise. God Bless you and your children.............xx

I really want to wish everyone here a very happy new year !

I know it is hard to move into a new year

But our children are with us whatever the calender says , it will get easier to carry , I promise .

I have actually had a good christmas , I never thought that would happen again but it has .

a lot of wise words..from tw triplets and whatever..

I wish you all a peaceful 2012 and hope we can all find something to make us smile

Morning girls xx

....and me TW!! Last night was the first NYE I spent laughing - not forced laughter but genuine. Something has happened to me this year. The longing to see my sons has increased but the way I have gone through the festive season has been very odd....I have honestly enjoyed most of it.

I never, ever thought that would happen xxxx

Oh ladies, i'm sat here sobbing at all your wise words.

It's true you know - just because time takes you away from your children they never ever leave you. How could they? You were their mammies, you loved them and nutured them and boure them. Love that great and strong, it can never be forgotten.

I wish everyone a quiet, peaceful 2012.

Good morning all x

I am feeling a wee bit fragile this morning

Someone once said to me that instead of thinking that each day takes you further away from your child you should think of it as one day closer to seeing them again . It helped me x

Thank you all for your wise words, it really has helped. I had a break down on fri night, hours of sobbing and panic attacks at the thought of moving on to another year. Thanks to you ladies I can now see it is just another day and Zoe will be with me forever not just in 2011.
I really hope we all have a peaceful and dare I say it happy new year. X

Happy New year to you and yours Blitzy....massive panic attacks and crying are more than allowed...in fact, I reckon they are compulsory xxx

Wonder how Lavendes is going on? I hope she has had a really good Christmas and New Year.

xxxx

happy new year girlsx thanks again for holding my hand when things have got crap,youll never know how grateful i am.

Good to see you Hazy xxx

Went to the crematorium today to lay flowers for dp's nan and as I was walking past some flowers for someone else my eye was drawn to the card so I stopped to read it...'I am always with you. Lots of love Erin'. I had to call dp back to read it to confirm that's actually what it said. Very strange but strangely comforting.

I've found today very emotional. I hope everyone else is doing okay xx

I think thats lovely whatevertheweather, so happy it gave you comfort. I believe these "happenings" are sent, many things like that have happened to me and yes it does comfort, we are always looking for signs, I just wished they`d happen more often! Good to read some positive posts, its uplifting, esp from you my awd mucker xx

Morning girls xx

Morning all! DH has just left taking my parents and brother and his boyfriend back to the airport It is nice having them over, but it was just one day too long (they start to annoy me after a while)

Morning girls xx