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Original poster

Update on Rindercella's DH (No. 2)

845 replies

Portoeufino · 12/04/2011 16:25

The other thread has reached 1000 posts, so I hope no-one minds that I started a new one......Hoping R is home with you now!

OP posts:
LizaTarbucksAuntie · 20/04/2011 13:45

You will look stunning, he will be proud of you.

Trust him to help you through, he said he would and it sounds like he was a man of his word.

You are an amazing lady and a fine example to your daughters.

Thinking of you

PollyLogos · 20/04/2011 15:52

The dress is gorgeous and you will look amazing! Richard will be smiling at you.

I want to second everything Aitch said, she has expressed far better than I could how I flet when I saw my mum at the chapel of rest. It was her body but not her spirit - that is still around me all the time.

Tikkabillajive · 20/04/2011 16:33

That outfit is stunning Rinders, you will do Richard proud!

I've been thinking of you often over the past few days since I last posted. I'm so glad you had a lovely lunch with your friends yesterday - like ChippingIn said, it is a comfort to me to know you are surrounded by such good support. I'm so sorry about your sister - you don't deserve to be let down like that.

Wishing you love and strength as ever x

PacificDogwood · 20/04/2011 22:20

Rinders, I am struggling to catch up - too much Life happening here.

Glad to here the CC company backed off quite graciously in the end.

Your dress and hat are just stunning - you will do R so, so proud Smile.

As others have said, seeing the body of someone you love just confirms that what made them 'them' has left said body and, TBH, I have always almost 'needed' seeing the person for myself to truly believe that they have died. IYKWIM. If that makes any sense at all Hmm. I have not found seeing any of my family members (all elderly and in no way as significant to me as Richard is to you) who had died distressing, but rather a good way to collect myself and say my farewells. I really hope you will have a good experience too.

Your friends and family contiue to sound like they are a great support for you and each other - something (one of many things!) you should be proud of.
Will your DDs attend the funeral? If they do, they (particularly DD1) might be quite clingy and you want to think about having an allocated person she knows well to look after her or leave with her if she gets too distressed.

As someone who cries at BT ads Blush, I will refrain from offering any advice on how to cope with reading at R's service... Whatever you decide to do and however you get through it, will be right on the day. And everybody, first and foremost Richard, will understand.

Sending you lots of strength and thinking of you all x.

saltyseadog · 20/04/2011 22:51

Stunning outfit Rinders - you really will do Richard and your girls proud.

northender · 21/04/2011 10:48

Not on here much at the moment but think of you often. The dress and hat are beautiful.

Reindeerbollocks · 22/04/2011 11:39

Nothing useful to add but thinking of you and your family x

Rindercella · 22/04/2011 13:44

Reindeer, it is useful to know you're thinking of me, thanks.

Feeling very low today. Slightest thing to set me of sets me off big style. Had a screaming fit when I took a call from R's bank when I was in Sainsburys. I know he owes just over £2k on the cc he has with them. No biggy. I went to local branch with death cert very earlier in the week. All seemed to be in hand. Bereavement chappie spoke to hq to freeze all accounts said I would only be contacted in writing. Gave my mobile number in case of problems and now that mobile number is the one they are using to call Mr Smith about paying 60 fucking quid. I am getting seriously pussed off with it all. This was the 4th time in 3 days they have called.

Breathe

Have a massive family lunch planned for Sunday. Thought it was going to be 8 of us, it's actually more like 18-20!! So bought huge leg of lamb and a cockerel from farm shop today (after mad packed Sainsbos), quite looking forward to it as I love cooking and I haven't had much opportunity to do it recently.

Met with vicar again yesterday, she is so lovely.

Missing Richard like crazy. I close my eyes tight, tight shut and will him to be here when I open them.

Rindercella · 22/04/2011 13:46

pissed off I am seriously pissed off with them. Decking auto correct

Rindercella · 22/04/2011 13:47

Erm, that would be fecking Hmm

TheOriginalFAB · 22/04/2011 13:53

I am so sorry the bank are being arses SadAngry.

thumbbunny · 22/04/2011 13:55

Oh Rinders - arseholing banks!! Angry
Next time (which please God there won't be one) demand to speak to their manager and SCREAM at him/her.
I had a call about life insurance the day my Mum died. I was extremely curt with them and told them the situation - they were very apologetic and never contacted me again (good thing too).

Sunday lunch sounds lovely. I know what you mean about the eyes closed tight thing. Are you dreaming about Richard yet? Waking up from those dreams can be hard.

Much love.
x

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 14:00

LOL so that would be pissed and fecking then Grin

I'd be happy to send another email to another bank for you!! The last one was quite to the point if I have to say so myself Grin If they call on your mobile again, please give them a good piece of your mind! Useless bastards.

Were you OK when you went to see Richard? Are you going again? I went every day and spent a long time talking, but then I hadn't had the time beforehand that you had had to talk. Do what feels right for you x

Tomorrow sounds like it should be a good day, nice to have so much company. I can't, for the life of me though, understand how you are looking forward to cooking? It's too hot for a start and even if it wasn't - I just find it all too much of palavar!! I don't enjoy cooking at all anymore - it's just another chore. I like the idea of baking, but it seldom happens!

I am filling the holes and cracks in the walls with commercial grade joint filler - it's 'going off' about as quick as I can get it out of the pot! It's a nightmare and there is so much of it on the walls I think I would have been better to have taken a course in plastering and just done that! I'd have loved to have got the plasterer to just come in and do all the walls but it's £££ and we'll probably rent this out later in the year so it didn't seem worth the £££ - not so damn sure about that just now!

Big hug
xoxox

treedelivery · 22/04/2011 14:02

Oh Rinders. I hope the huge lunch is a comfort to you on Sunday. Are you cooking all of it? Wow!

Fecking bank indeed. When you can spare them the energy tell them you expect the 2k deposited safe and sound with the hospice or whereever you choose. How awful AngrySad

I wish he could be there when you open your eye. Put his aftershave on a purple scarf and carry it with you for such times. Am thinking of you and the children and wishing you a peaceful easter..

TimeForMeIsFree · 22/04/2011 14:48

Thinking of you Rinders, daily actually Smile Still think you are amazing, even if you can't spell Wink You stay strong sweetheart, you are doing so so well. Your planned lunch sounds Fab!!

Milliways · 22/04/2011 16:15

RIndercella, I was thinking of you a lot this week as on the same day Richard died, we also lost an amazing friend, who had fought cancer for 14 years and died aged 40. We have just had his funeral and celebration of his life.

A song he chose to be played was but the opening words "To everyone who lost someone they loved, long before it was their time" finished me off. It is a powerful song and spoke of his strong faith, and went down well at the service.

PacificDogwood · 22/04/2011 17:11

Don't you hate it when autocorrect does not allow for a good swear rant, Rindercella Grin!

Please allow me on your behalf: FECKING banks, the fecking bastards!! Hope they will not bother you again...

Wishing you a lovely, sunny weekend and hoping that your DDs will make it a Happy Easter at least to some extent.

[busmile]

trulymadlydeeply · 22/04/2011 18:19

Thinking of you so often.

Take care my lovely.

S xx

copycat · 22/04/2011 21:53

I'm thinking of you every day too Rinders; your wholehearted love and devotion for Richard radiates from every post you write and has reached out and touched so many of us. You are truly remarkable.

xx

RGPargy · 22/04/2011 22:52

So sorry for your loss Rinders. :( I dont know you at all but you have been so brave and dignified throughout. My heart goes out to you and your girls.

Incidentally, I think that your dress and hat look amazing and you will look beautiful wearing them for your dear Richard.

Thinking of you. x

DillyDaydreaming · 22/04/2011 22:54

So sorry to hear tbis news Rinders. Am thinking of you so much. I hope you will find comfort from all those who are thinking of you. I am praying for you and your family today.

scooby26 · 22/04/2011 23:43

Love to you rinders. Happy chocolate Easter to you and your daughters. Stuff the banks!!! Xx

MrsDmamee · 23/04/2011 02:35

Oh Rinders i cant believe the bank. You have every right to be pissed off.
I would maybe just turn off the mobile for now/weekend so you can rest get some peace and have some sort of Easter with your DD's & family.

Sending you more strength for the coming days...I can't even imagine how much you are missing your dear R....Ijust know its totally unfair on you and your lovely DD's & DSS. No one should have to go through this. I really hope his funeral is a wonderful send off for him.

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck · 23/04/2011 10:43

Rindercella your posts are so humbling. I just want to put my arms around you and take your pain away and I'm so sorry that I, or anyone else, can't do that for you. Richard will always be with you - in your heart, your mind, who you are, the decisions you make and in your children. I pray that you can draw strength from his love and continue to be the incredible person you come across as on here.

MackerelOfFact · 23/04/2011 15:24

I have been following your previous thread on and off for the last couple of months. I am so sorry that this horrible illness stole your husband. You, your gorgeous girls and your DSS are in my thoughts.

Your words give Richard such life and I hope this will bring comfort to your girls as time passes.