I seem to do being okayish. Lots of deep breaths seem to be getting me through. Each morning when I wake though I have a knot in my stomach, feeling sick and nervous.
DH's body is ready for us at the chapel of rest. Need to brace myself to go and see him. I know it's just his vessel, and that his spirit is here with me all the time, but it's still going to be hard. He is laid to rest in the beautiful purple Ozwald Boateng suit he's wearing in the picture on my profile. The one he wore to our wedding. I don't think I will take the children as I think the last time they said goodbye (well DD1 particularly), it was lovely and at home and a good memory.
I darted off by myself yesterday morning by myself and got the dress I wanted. I got this dress and also this hat I have suitable shoes and if it's chilly, I have a fab bronze dress coat that will go perfectly. So I think I will look ok. The other dress just didn't do it and was too short, probably because I am tall. A lovely friend who works in one of the local day spas has offered to do my nails, eyebrows/lashes, etc.
I then had a lovely lunch with my friends, lots of wine, memories and laughter. They've known Richard for the last 12 years too, loved him, always looked to us as being the couple they knew to have loved each other, treated each other with respect and kindness, and so feel my loss almost as much as I do. Afterwards we had a nosey around the church again and it is such a perfect place to celebrate Richard's life.
Thank you to all of you. You help a lot xxx