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Bereavement

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Update on Rindercella's DH (No. 2)

845 replies

Portoeufino · 12/04/2011 16:25

The other thread has reached 1000 posts, so I hope no-one minds that I started a new one......Hoping R is home with you now!

OP posts:
MissPaintyOeuf · 19/04/2011 11:44

Thinking of you today Rinders, hope you have a lovely lunch with your friends x

almondfinger · 19/04/2011 12:04

You know, if on the day you feel up to it you can always read the tribute yourself, but are easing the pressure knowing that Sil will read it out and you can soak in the service if that's what you want at the time.

I hope you have a lovely day today with your friends, find a beautiful dress and enjoy your liquid lunch.

x

Northernlurker · 19/04/2011 12:11

I agree - probably best to keep an open mind on the reading. Some people feel they definately can't and some people end up feeling they definately must. Bil's daugher read a sonnet at his funeral. You would have to go a long way to hear it read better - and I have no idea how she managed that.
Brilliant news about the CC - good to see somebody taking responsibility.

Hope dress shopping goes well - don't forget underwear!

TobyLerone · 19/04/2011 12:30

Goodness, this thread just made me cry buckets at my desk.

AitchTwoOh · 19/04/2011 22:29

hope you had a pleasant day with your friends and the wine and the dresses, rinders. thinking of you lots.

AitchTwoOh · 19/04/2011 22:30

hope you had a pleasant day with your friends and the wine and the dresses, rinders. thinking of you lots.

AitchTwoOh · 19/04/2011 22:31

apols for double post.

madamimadam · 19/04/2011 22:38

Rinders, I've been off MN for a little while and came back to see this thread.

I am so so sorry. I'll say a prayer for you, Richard and your lovely girls tonight.

You are such an amazing woman. There's nothing I can say that comes to close to what I want to say except that I'm sending you all the love and strength I can.

Madam x

fivegomadinthelambingshed · 19/04/2011 22:39

Rinders, you are an amazing woman, that is all I can say.

Rindercella · 20/04/2011 07:50

I seem to do being okayish. Lots of deep breaths seem to be getting me through. Each morning when I wake though I have a knot in my stomach, feeling sick and nervous.

DH's body is ready for us at the chapel of rest. Need to brace myself to go and see him. I know it's just his vessel, and that his spirit is here with me all the time, but it's still going to be hard. He is laid to rest in the beautiful purple Ozwald Boateng suit he's wearing in the picture on my profile. The one he wore to our wedding. I don't think I will take the children as I think the last time they said goodbye (well DD1 particularly), it was lovely and at home and a good memory.

I darted off by myself yesterday morning by myself and got the dress I wanted. I got this dress and also this hat I have suitable shoes and if it's chilly, I have a fab bronze dress coat that will go perfectly. So I think I will look ok. The other dress just didn't do it and was too short, probably because I am tall. A lovely friend who works in one of the local day spas has offered to do my nails, eyebrows/lashes, etc.

I then had a lovely lunch with my friends, lots of wine, memories and laughter. They've known Richard for the last 12 years too, loved him, always looked to us as being the couple they knew to have loved each other, treated each other with respect and kindness, and so feel my loss almost as much as I do. Afterwards we had a nosey around the church again and it is such a perfect place to celebrate Richard's life.

Thank you to all of you. You help a lot xxx

hotcrossSES · 20/04/2011 08:05

Rinders - first can I echo what others have said - you are an amazing woman and your strength, dignity and love for Richard and your two girls shines through in your posts.

"So I think I will look ok" - you will look stunning and Richard will be so proud. I love the dress and hat you have chosen. Also I've not commented on the photo of Richard on your profile but, wow - what a very handsome man.

As for going to see him at the chapel of rest, when my friend died, I went to see her. I was really glad I did as it reassured me that she was at peace but also that her body was just her shell and that her spirit had left it.

Finally, just had to comment on the poem that kindly shared. I've not come across that one before and it brought a few tears to my eyes - really beautiful.

Thinking of you lots and wishing you continued strength.

TimeForMeIsFree · 20/04/2011 08:06

Rinders, your outfit is lovely and you are going to look beautiful, Richard will be looking down on you and smiling, you really are an amazing lady and you cannot fail to make your darling husband proud. I don't know you and I am proud of you!

I hope you find comfort when you go visit Richard, I am thinking of you.

Lot's of love coming your way xx

QOD · 20/04/2011 08:13

Oh Rinders :( I am so sorry for your loss, I have followed your story and been rooting for you :(
So sad to see this - all the best for the future X
(Been offline for a week)

bellavita · 20/04/2011 08:14

Rinders, you will look stunning - Richard will be very proud.

thumbbunny · 20/04/2011 08:18

Agree Rinders that you will look amazing, like the amazing woman you are. Love and strength to you all as ever x

Buda · 20/04/2011 08:54

You will look stunning as others have said. And your Richard will be so very proud of you for doing that for him.

Can't believe your sister. What an A1 bitch. Oh well. Let Richard do as he promised!!!!

BecauseImWoeufIt · 20/04/2011 09:09

Lovely outfit. I'm so glad that you obviously have the support of some very good friends (as well as us internet sprites, obviously!)

Ormirian · 20/04/2011 09:46

You will look beautiful. As beautiful as you are inside and as beautiful as you were to your beloved Richard x

ilovesprouts · 20/04/2011 10:02

rinders the dress and hat are gawjuss ,your dh is gonna be so proud of you x

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 20/04/2011 10:05

Rinders - that dress and hat are lovely - what a brilliant match! You will look amazing.

It's comforting (to me!! :) ) to know that you have such good friends who will be there for you on the day - and after. I wish we could all be there in person, as well as spirit, too!

My thoughts are with you as you go to visit Richard today x

L&S
xox

Northernlurker · 20/04/2011 10:44

Fabulous, fabulous dress and hat! Well done you. Smile

After bil died I found waking up was the worst thing. Every morning it hits you all over again. That has changed and faded for me now but my mum and I talked about it in the week after he died and we agreed that once you got up and got going it was ok (or bearable at least) but the first thing, facing the day just really, really hurt.

everlong · 20/04/2011 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOh · 20/04/2011 12:29

awesome frock and hat, rinders, and i see why it would look lush with a bronze coat too. regarding the viewing of richard's body, i remember finding seeing my dad very calming and definite, actually. sad, of course, but there was a small part of me thinking that it hadn't really happened (it had been a long wait, so more bad news just felt like more bad news, rather than the conclusion to something, iykwim?)
seeing him there, and the body looking like him but so very definitely not being him, i found strangely calming, and really helped to process the previous few days and the next to come.
it was odd, most definitely, life is all, the person is not the body. or at least that's how i felt that day, glad that i had done it, glad that i could say goodbye to his bushy eyebrows, crinkled eyelids and kind hands, but certain that it was not him at the same time, iykwim, so my relationship to that body was ending, but not with him.
you know, this was twenty years ago near enough, rinders, and my mum still speaks to him. i have heard her say, when we go off on our travels and out of her sight, 'they're yours to look after now, Aitchsdad', and he always does...

SolosEggSpoonentiallyShrinking · 20/04/2011 13:11

Wow! you will look just as you should.

You are doing so well, I admire your calm.

TheOriginalFAB · 20/04/2011 13:15

The dress and hat are lovely and you will do Richard proud.

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