Update on Rindercella's DH (No. 2)

[Portoeufino]

The other thread has reached 1000 posts, so I hope no-one minds that I started a new one......Hoping R is home with you now!

Rinders - I keep missing your updates as you don't highlight as the OP!! It will soon be time for a new thread & if you start it, it will help me keep my life in order - so think on!

Your wedding day sounds wonderful, what a lovely memory to have :)

Richard's Ex is pretty bloody hopeless huh. You are so polite & dignified though - its not hard to see why Richard thinks the world of you!!

It's lovely that Jas recognises Richard in the photos, she will grow up knowing her Daddy through you and all of your family and so much through DSS, who sounds like the most amazing chip off of the old block! Your Summer holiday plans sound great... we all know it's not exactly what you'd have if you could choose, but given everything - it sounds fab x

An Au Pair will be great if, as you say, you can find the right one. Take your time to find someone lovely and the right fit for you.

When you are ready to tackle the FS (etc) there will be plenty of us right behind you and many of us who will do what we can to 'give it a voice'. I cannot believe how useless they are. As Blondes said she has been more angry than upset by it, but you shouldn't be made to feel either angry OR upset - they should handle it much better than they do (well, much much much better!!). The guy from the CC company does sound truely sorry and like a nice guy, so hopefully things will really happen. You going in there will have a HUGE impact on them and what a way to honor Richard's name.

xx

Nice to hear your news, Rinders. Whatever the woes of the ex, I can't help thinking that your DSS is such a gift that (presuming she's his mother), he must beyond compensate for them. It will be so lovely for your DDs growing up to have him around, as a person who knew their dad for longer than they got the chance to, and who can tell them about things they did together when he was young. Much love to you all. xx

Rinders the closeness of all your family really shines through your posts. It sounds as though your summer holiday will be wonderful and no wonder your dss is keen to join you.

I'm so glad that the cc md continues to take what happened to you seriously. When you have the time and energy to tackle the financial services, I get the feeling they won't know what has hit them

Thankyou for keeping us updated. It is lovely to hear about Richard and how you are keeping his memory alive.

Hello Rinders,

I just wanted to say that like so many I am still thinking of you and your lovely family so often. Your heartache and pain is so evident from your posts but so also is your strength and grace. Your courage and dignity is a glorious tribute to Richard and the love you shared that lives on in your heart and through your words and of course your children. What an amazing family you have and what an amazing wife and mother you are.

xxx

Rindercella, as ever, much love to you and your girls and admiration on how you continue to handle the situation you have been forced into.

The description of your and Richard's wedding day was amazing. So good that you at least have these kind of memories .

And if you do indeed make the financial sector sit up and take notice, Richard's death will have Mattered in yet another way.

Thinking of you often.

I am impressed that whilst in the mist of everything you are preparing to take on the FS to prevent them continuing to treat greaves women this way.

I hope you have a lovely holiday, and its so nice to hear the girls are doing so well, with the love and support of all of yours and Rs family.

Glad you enjoyed your night out too x

Thinking of you and the girls lots xx

thinking of you today,on what would have been your 5th wa

enjoy your meal tonight and toast richard xx

Rinders, you and your girls are in my mind often.

Raise a glass to Richard tonight

xxx

Rinders, hoping you are able to enjoy some of the sweetness of happy memories amongst the sorrow of parting. Happy 5th anniversary.

Xxx

Happy Anniversary, Rinders. I'll drink a toast to you and Richard tonight.

XXX

Oh God. Bless you all, thank you.

It's been a funny day. The girls were at the childminder's for most of the day. I treated myself to a manicure & pedicure this morning. Came home to an empty house. Wallowed. Played our over and over. Wallowed some more. Cried loads and loads and loads. Probably will still cry some more. But it's not a bad thing. And to be honest, I don't go into that pool of self-pity very often, so just this once I am going to go with it....

Friends coming for dinner later. And we will mostly certainly toast the most beautiful, wonderful, special man I was lucky enough to marry

its good to cry - or so everyone tells me

have a fun filled night tonight and as i said on fb - we have to have good days and fun as we also have bad days and tears - so need to make some new good fun memories xxx

Definately good to wallow.

Here's to you both on your anniversary

It's important to cry and not bottle it all up all of the time.

I'm glad you made plans for tonight though, on a purely selfish level it's nice to know you aren't on your own this evening x :)

You may not have had quantity - but you certainly had quality x

Hi Rinders, how are you doing? I was think about your little ladies yesterday. Did you do anything for fathers day? Lots of hugs xx

Hello...

Long time since I last updated. My general posts on MN have even decreased, don't know why, other than being busy I think. With death comes so much paperwork!!

I am totally overwhelmed by the whole benefits system - just don't understand any of it. Each time I have tried to contact them they give me a load of numbers to call. I don't want to phone a dozen different people, I want to sit down with one person and establish what I should be getting. I have never claimed a penny, have no idea what a tax credit is, let alone whether or not I am entitled to one. Our finances are quite complex too, so that adds additional problems to the whole what am I entitled to...? question. I still haven't received the bereavement payment. Gah. So I completed & sent off the 16 page form a few days ago and see what happens. Not complete with any of the certificates they need - my financial advisor has my wedding certificate, DD2's birth certificate is with the passport office and I cannot find mine anywhere! Will chase when I have some peace and quiet on Friday morning.

I am getting ahead with lots of other things though. I have decided not to get an aupair to start this year - I think it will be too much change for both the girls and also for me. Probably more important to re-establish our balance and get used to our family as it is now. Instead I am going to continue with the two wonderful people I have helping me with the girls - a wonderful mother's help and also fab child minder. I am sure with those people and also friends & family I will cope just fine. The only thing missing really is easily being able to go out in the evenings (cos I have such a hot social life!!). But I guess that can be worked around for now.

I have decided to take on part of Richard's business. I will look into that in more detail when I get back from holiday at the end of August...we leave in a month's time for a month in the sun. Cannot wait! But I think the business will be ideal for me. It's something I know I can do and also something that I can do as little or as much as I want to. It'll be good for me to have something to focus on other than the girls too. Btw, the girls are just doing brilliantly, am so proud of them.

The memorial party is all go for 9th July at my SIL's restaurant in Bristol. I am currently organising prizes for an auction/raffle and have arranged loads of literature for both the hospice and the prostate cancer awareness group. I think it will be a good night, with at least 150 people there. Strange though, as the last party I organised there was a surprise one for Richard's 50th birthday.

I am thinking of writing too. Somehow capturing the events of the last year or more. Just an idea bubbling away at the moment. I am sure I will get inspired soon...

Siamese, thank you (again!). Fathers' Day wasn't too bad. Had DSS for the weekend (God, he's just so great, love him being here) and my mum & brother came up too for Sunday lunch...first without Dad too.

So, mostly I am ok. I have big moments where I am not though. I find it nearly impossible to look at photos of him at the moment. It is too much to bear to see my fit, beautiful husband, knowing that he is no more.

Thinking of you rinders.

You're an amazing writer - go for that definitely. It might be cathartic too.

Rindercella- lovely to hear youre managing. Keep going .... It'll get easier xx

((HUGE HUGS)) and bollocks to those on mn who dont like it - we NEED hugs :)

i so know what you mean about paperwork - it is never ending - luckily my dad has done a lot of it for me - and im so for you that you still havnt got the bereavement fund £2k money - it took me think 6 weeks to get it and my ifa sent off form within the week so hope you get your soon - but they are very anal about needing all the certificates

and the funniest thing [hhm] is that on the leaflet it says it is immediate - what a load of crap - immediate to me means within the week of dh dying the money goes into my account - not spending 5+weeks chasing it up

the party sounds fab as does writing and even better a month in the sun and then doing some work will be good for you and not take your mind off so to speak,as that doesnt happen :( but it will give you something to focus on and thats why i went back to work 3 weeks later as needed something

so glad your girls are fine - they are so beautiful - pics on fb dont do them justice

onwards and upwards honey xxx