Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Update on Rindercella's DH (No. 2)

845 replies

Portoeufino · 12/04/2011 16:25

The other thread has reached 1000 posts, so I hope no-one minds that I started a new one......Hoping R is home with you now!

OP posts:
twojumpingbeans · 15/04/2011 18:40

I am so so sorry for your loss xx

LouMacca · 15/04/2011 19:11

Another lurker here. So very sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength for the days ahead. R.I.P. Richard x x

purpleknittingmum · 15/04/2011 19:32

So sorry to hear this

love to you and your famiy xxx

geordieminx · 15/04/2011 19:38

Thinking of you and your beautiful children.

maddiemostmerry · 15/04/2011 20:07

Rinders, I am so sorry to hear your news. RIP Richard. Much love to you, the girls and all those close to Richard.

seb1 · 15/04/2011 20:11

So sorry xx

ohmeohmy · 15/04/2011 20:17

Condolences to you all. xx

thebestisyettocome · 15/04/2011 20:21

I'm so sorry for your loss. The last few hours sound like they were very peaceful. I hope that gives you some form of comfort. Best wishes to you and your children x

cadburysgirl · 16/04/2011 00:30

Im so sorry to hear your Richard has passed away. Im so glad you managed to get him home and he passed away peacefully.

Thinking of you, your girls and family

xx

Niecie · 16/04/2011 02:42

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your beautiful children and your family.

saltyseadog · 16/04/2011 07:23

Thinking of you and your family Xx

Beasbaaaschocciknees · 16/04/2011 07:30

Just thinking of you and your family. Sorry to hear your news x

textualhealing · 16/04/2011 11:19

How very sorry I am to read your news, Rinders. I know neither of you but I can see how enriched Richard's life would have been with you by his side.

My thoughts are with you all as there are no words that come anywhere close to expressing how brave and courageous I believe you both to be.

So very sorry for you. Jane

chipmonkey · 16/04/2011 12:18

Rinders, so very, very sorry.

LisaD1 · 16/04/2011 12:20

I have lurked on your thread for ages Rinders and just not known what to say. I went away for a few days and the first thing I did when I got back was search for an update, I am so so very sorry for yours and your daughter's loss and am thinking of you all.

May your beloved Richard rest in peace, free of pain.

Lisa x

reallyneedadvicenowplease · 16/04/2011 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Rindercella · 16/04/2011 18:48

Thank you all for your messages. It is truly heartwarming to see so many people give me a virtual hand hold through this most awful time.

DD1 is utterly amazing. Last night we had a good chat about Daddy and that his body has gone but his spirit is still here and always would be. She pointed to the ceiling and asked if Daddy was up there. I said yes, she replied, well let's say hello to him then. So we counted to three.."1. 2. 3 Hello Daddy!!!" and waved. Jas waved too. Since then DD1 has caught me crying a couple of times and immediately has said, let's say hello to Daddy, and then we count, wave and say hello. 3.7 years old.

So many people have been so wonderful. My GP (not Richard's crappy one) was in floods of tears when I saw her on Thursday, saying how deeply his death has affected her. Have had lots of family coming and going. My SIL who has been here mostly for the last couple of months will be staying for the foreseeable future - although of course she will need to return home at some point, but just not yet. My DSS has returned here after a couple of days home. It's so sweet as rather than staying in a room of his own, he's decided to sleep on a futon in the room his aunt is in. 20 years old, 6'5" tall and needing lots & lots of love.

Everything is in motion now. Richard's funeral will be at a beautiful local church on 28th April. I just spoke to the vicar and she sounds lovely. The wake will be very fitting as it's in a pub where Richard and I used to regularly share a bottle or two of wine and stagger walk back up the hill to our old house.

Anyone who saw my thread regarding the awful credit card company will be pleased to know that the calls have finally stopped. I know a couple of people asked, but Richard's bank - who handled the matter so sensitively and appropriately - is Nationwide. Or NatWest. He banks at both and I can't remember which it was Blush

I have to take lots and lots of deep breaths. I am barely sleeping - the last 3 mornings I have woken at 3 or 4am and then not gone back to sleep until around midnight. Broke down totally today when I was tidying the sitting room where Richard died. Should have got someone else to do it really.

One last thing and I don't really want to post on S&B because it seems so trival to be worrying about, but I really want to find a super dress for the funeral. Richard was an amazing dresser - he is laid to rest in the purple Ozwald Boateng suit he wore to our wedding, so I feel I need to wear something to make him really proud of me. I am 5'10", good legs, about a size 14 with a tummy (think apple). I have highligted hair in a bob. I'm not sure if I want black, but something classic, understated and elegant. Does anyone have any ideas please? Budget, I guess less than £200 ideally.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 16/04/2011 18:51

Rinders - I haven't posted for a few days as I thought it best not to clutter up the thread with repeated messages, as I didn't want it to be too overwhelming when you do come back to read it. But please know that you are in my thoughts every day and I am continuing to send you lots of love & strength x

TimeForMeIsFree · 16/04/2011 19:03

Rinders, I don't know you from Adam but you are in my thoughts too. I only wish I did know you in real life so I could be of some help to you. Also Rinders, I don't think it is in the least bit trivial for you to be thinking about your outfit for Richards funeral, I think it is a great tribute to him that you want to make him proud and you should not hesitate to post in S&B for help, there are some fab ladies on there with great style who I am sure would love to help you.

You take good care of yourself sweetheart xx

Portoeufino · 16/04/2011 19:04

Oh Rinders! Bless your dd's for waving to daddy. I still wave and talk to my mum and she died nearly 40 years ago. They will never forget that they had a daddy who loved them so much.

I am useless on the dress front though.

OP posts:
bellavita · 16/04/2011 19:04

Oh Rinders, you are such an amazing person. I just want to give you huge bear hug. I too think about you every day. I cannot imagine how you must feel. Keep strong x

Rindercella · 16/04/2011 19:08

Thank you for giving me the confidence to post on style & beauty. I know how judgy some people can be and was just imagining some people saying.."ooh, her DH has only jjust died and she's wondering what she'll be wearing" Blush Will start a thread now, thank you. (it's also a very useful distraction, looking at dresses)

gilbonzothesecretpsychoduck · 16/04/2011 19:10

How about this to match his suit?

Sorry to use bellavita's words but you really do seem to be such and amazing person. Your children sound lovely and are so lucky to have you. I hope you can continue to provide strength and comfort to each other.xx

bellavita · 16/04/2011 19:10

I just looking on the JL website, Fenn Wright and Manson have sale on. is this along the right lines?

SiameseIfYouPlease · 16/04/2011 19:11

I love that dd1 is cheering you up, waving to daddy!

Post in S and B too about the dress - some amazing ladies over there to help you out - you should look fabulous too!

Swipe left for the next trending thread