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Original poster

Update on Rindercella's DH (No. 2)

845 replies

Portoeufino · 12/04/2011 16:25

The other thread has reached 1000 posts, so I hope no-one minds that I started a new one......Hoping R is home with you now!

OP posts:
EggyAllenPoe · 16/04/2011 19:13

Hello,

sorry for your loss :(

i think the best advice i got when DS died was:

be very gentle with yourself. do whatever makes you feel better.

so: dress.. i'm thinking LK Bennett? or Anglomania?

MissPaintyOeuf · 16/04/2011 19:14

Oh Rinders, your DD1 is such a wee star, I'm shedding a tear here. Such a sweetie, bless her.

Northernlurker · 16/04/2011 19:14
EggyAllenPoe · 16/04/2011 19:16

any of these?

MissPaintyOeuf · 16/04/2011 19:19

I'm not much use with dresses, but Coast is usually my go-to store for that sort of thing. Or Monsoon. I like this, but it may not be to your taste at all.

minimu1 · 16/04/2011 19:21

Rinders thank you so much for finding the time to post on here. You must have so much to do but we are all constantly thinking of you and it is kind of you to keep us involved.

Your DS is such a sweetie obviously takes after her fab parents!

Wish I could help with the dresses but as you want to look stunning for your Richard I will let others advise on this not non for my stylish look

Thinking of you and your lovely family

thefirstMrsDeVere · 16/04/2011 19:25

Dear Rinders,

I hope you find the perfect dress for Richard's funeral. I hope you look utterly beautiful.

I spent a long time getting ready for DD's funeral. I had my nails and feet done, my hair done and even had a spray tan Smile
I took hours doing my make up and choosing the right dress.
It was important to me not to show DD up by looking less than my best.

I understand your need to look wonderful and I am sure that you will.

I am a bit of a bargain basement queen so I wont try and advise you on a dress but I am sure there are lots of willing and able Mumsnetter who can help.

Wishing you peace and strength at this time and sending love to you and your wonderful girls.

charlieandlola · 16/04/2011 19:25

Rinders I am so so sorry that you have lost your husband. I have been following your posts and was so shocked to see that he passed away so quickly after coming home.
I know words typed on a screen are useless, but I send my deep sympathy in your loss.

trumpton · 16/04/2011 19:43

Dear Rinders,

I wrote that I bought my darling Dad home and how special it was. Richard's funeral will be on my Dad's birthday and I will be thinking of you all. I hope you are getting a little comfort from the fact that Richard was home with his loved ones.
Yours with sympathy

Trumpton

LoveAndSqualor · 16/04/2011 20:02

Rinders, I haven't posted before, but have followed your threads and just wanted to say how deeply, deeply sorry I am. So glad the end was sunlit and peaceful. Thinking of you, your DSS and your DDs. Please look after yourself and post if there's anything at all that anyone can do xxx

heliumballoons · 16/04/2011 20:08

Rinders I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been following your story and just checked and found your sad news.

I'm sure whatever you wear to the funeral Richard will be proud of you, and proud of the wife your were to him and everything you have done over the past year.

I know its words on a screen but your whole family are in my thoughts.

xxx

itwascertainlyasurprise · 16/04/2011 20:22

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reallyneedadvicenowplease · 16/04/2011 20:35

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Northernlurker · 16/04/2011 20:55

It is important to get it right. My sister wanted to wear black and found a lovely dress. She looked amazing and she did her hair - coloured it herself beautifully. She looked perfect and bil would have been delighted to see her like that. It is important.

NorksAreMessy · 16/04/2011 21:26

Rinders, of course it is not trivial to care about how you look for your beloved pRince. Nobody will judge you if you look stunningly gorgeous, as I am sure you will, or even if you look like Haggis McBaggis. You have no need to explain to anyone how you are feeling or how you choose to dress. You feelings are genuine, and if you follow them, whatever you do will be genuine too. You are all in my thoughts every day. Xxx

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 16/04/2011 21:49

Rinders, Im glad dd is giving you some comfert and you have your beutiful family around you.
Im sure you will look stunning for Richard, and he will be so proud of you no matter what you wear as you are so beutiful already and gave him 2 beutiful girls and loved him truely xx

LancsLot · 16/04/2011 22:08

Much love to you, dd's and Richard's son xxx I have thought of you all since the original thread started - willing Richard on. You are truly amazing.

I think this dress www.johnlewis.com/213942/Style.aspx
would be stunning - (sorry if I am way off the mark).

Keep strong and let those near to you support your close family xx

cityhobgoblin · 16/04/2011 22:13

Rinders , I'm sorry to be so late in sending my condolences for your tragic loss.

The thing that has struck me - all of us - over these awful months is that Richard had the best person he could ever have dreamt of by his side , with the great love , strength & personality capable of confronting & adapting to the hateful ordeal - leaving you with deep scars , obviously.

You will do your DH great justice hosting your family & friends at the service , & I'm sure you will look beautiful for him.

Thinking of your DDs and DSS.

EasterBunnyGirl · 16/04/2011 22:37

So very sorry you had such a short time together at home but glad he had you all close and finally passed peacefully.
I can imagine the range of emotions you must be feeling, no wonder you are finding sleep difficult.
I hope you can feel some comfort from the fact that he obviously knew how much you loved him. It must have been so hard for him to leave you all but it was his time.
I hope we can still support and comfort you in the future.
You have been an inspiration to us all.
Fantastic to hear the support you've had from Richard's family too. He must have felt comforted by the fact that you all have each other now that he has gone.
Sending love to you all and wishing that your happy memories soon attempt to fill the void that your darling husband has left. You will keep him alive to your beautiful DDs.

heathcliffthe2nd · 16/04/2011 22:45

My sympathies to you and your family. It sounds like your husband died in very peaceful way; holding your hand and listening to you talking to your daughter. I hope you can take some comfort from that in this dark time.

And as for a new dress for the funeral, go for it! No-one will judge you - it is important that you look beautiful for your husband (and yourself).

PacificDogwood · 16/04/2011 22:51

God bless your DD1, what a lovely girl Smile. I am certain, daddy is waving back at her and always will.

Your DSS sounds like an utterly lost soul, poor guy. He has the privilege of actually having known his father and will miss him so much. In some ways, it may be easier for your DDs to adapt to life without Richard than it might be for him. By which I in no way mean to trivialize the girls' loss - it is just a different one, I suppose.

Absolutely is the outfit you are going to be wearing for Richard's funeral very important and I am glad that others have encouraged you to post in S+B. As I am useless on the stylefront, I won't offer any dubious advice Blush.

Please, please look after yourself. You will be running in pure adrenaline just now; there's so much to do and organise etc etc. Be careful that you don't 'crash' once the funeral and all the official stuff is out of the way. Really, do be kind to yourself. Sleep is so important to keep you going: if the girls sleep reasonably realiably or if your SIL might agree to get up for nighttime wakenings, would you consider asking your GP for a mild sleeping tablet? Think about it Smile.

Thinking of you all the time. I managed to reduce my mum to tears by talking about you, your girls, Richard and this hideous disease

Sending much love and strength, as ever.

GColdtimer · 16/04/2011 23:16

Rinders, your dd1 sounds amazing. Both your girls will continue to give you strength and comfort I am sure

And as for finding the right dress, when my best friend's dh died 3 years ago it was so important for her to look her best for him. And she looked absolutely beautiful (even though I traisped around every shop in Banbury with her looking for a pair of purple leather gloves to no avail!). And she also wanted the rest of us to look good so we also put on our best dresses. Her dh was also a very stylish man and it seemed fitting that we all dressed up to pay tribute to him. So I cam completely understand your desire to find the right thing to wear and I am sure you will look beautiful for your lovely Richard.

Rindercella · 17/04/2011 00:02

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chipmonkey · 17/04/2011 00:04

Rinders, that is amazing! Particularly about your dh's friend getting the missed call from the landline.

Your dh is deffo hanging around, making sure his girls are OK.

thumbbunny · 17/04/2011 00:12

oh Rinders, what lovely happenings! Sorry about your sister though - she sounds very self-absorbed. Richard is right though - she's not important - you want people around you who care about you and Richard, not her.

My Grandad was a great believer in people being able to let you know they were ok - when my Nanna died of a sudden massive heart attack, all of us had a dream within the next few days that she came to talk to us and tell us she was all right, it wasn't anything to worry or be sad about. If it had just been one of us, might have put it down to coincidence and unconscious mind projection - but all of us? Same dream? nah.

It sounds like you have many people who are there to love and take care of you - am very happy for that for you, despite crying while typing because of your post.