Thank you to whoever arranged to have this thread moved to Bereavement.
Thank you all too for your messages.
There's lots to do today and I think that's how I'm going to cope, at least for the next week or two. I didn't really sleep last night, just from about 5.30 - 7am but that's ok - I have 2 small children, sleep deprivation is something I am familiar with. I spent a couple of hours in the early hours with 2 of my SILs, chatting about the good times.
I feel tense and nervous, with a knot in my stomach. I woke yesterday at 4am with the same feeling and had to go to Richard. I think I knew then that those would be his final few hours. I spent more time with him yesterday, holding his hand, than I have in weeks. It was a special time.
Richard's passing was so incredibly peaceful. I was holding his hand and didn't notice. He looked so young, beautiful and pain free. When the undertaker came to collect him last night he commented on how peaceful he looks. I am so pleased that after so many months with so much pain, his final hours were so comfortable.
Yesterday was informing family and some very close friends. Today my SILs and I will be calling other friends. I am going to contact key people who I know will pass on the news to others, a sort of ripple effect. I think there's only so many times I can have that particular conversation.
Deep breaths (however much they hurt).