My sister Jane died on 24th October 1992. We never knew exactly how she came to crash her car. There was no proof that there was any other vehicle involved but it was very hard to explain what happened unless she swerved to avoid something.
Jane was the youngest of 5 (4 girls and a boy). She died in a road accident 15 months after she graduated. She was closest, chronologically, emotionally and tempermentally to my brother. My older sister, the secular one, has always kept a picture of Jane on her bedside table and my younger sister, the religious one, puts everything down to God?s Will and seems to think of Jane as the lucky one for being in Heaven before the rest of us.
After many years of hardly mourning her death Christmas 2010 was really difficult for me. I had such strong images of her lying cold and alone in the cemetery wondering where the rest of the family and her boyfriend were that it has made me really tearful and spoilt Christmas 100%.
When I think about all that happened in my life since Jane died it seems so unfair that she died before marriage and parenthood and before she could make proper use of her hard-won degree.
This thread follows on from this very moving one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/641812-For-Jonny-and-all-our-darling-departed-sisters-and-brothers
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Bereavement
Remembering with love all our departed brothers and sisters – “The angel inside us”.
dejavuaswell · 19/01/2011 09:04
caffeine! Still going, but very slowly. I am still struggling along too (much like the thread 
). My heart goes out to you xx
Five years ago my youngest brother Jonny died from injuries sustained in a hit and run. He was 24. Today I was brave until the kids went to bed and now I can't stop crying. I will never stop missing him.
I've tended to avoid sharing too many of my feelings about the death of my twin with the rest of the world. Even on Mumsnet I have felt uneasy about sharing my sadness. It is coming up to 4 years now since Caroline died and I still miss her so much. This week end I was out with my family having a good time when, with no warning, an enormous wave of emotion just seem to overwhelm me. What caused this? It was some total stranger shouting the name Caroline across the car park. Cruelly and almost unbelievably I still get post addressed to her. Last Saturday it was from the man who used to come once a year to sharpen the blades of her lawnmower. In April it was a slightly grumpy letter from a former school friend who "hadn't heard from you in ages" . Sometimes it is really hard to cope. 
With love to the regulars. XX
popmusic84 even if you weren't close, you still suffer the effects of loss. Grief can catch up with us at the funniest of times, but being the only person left of your family must be understandably hard. Are you able to talk about it with anyone in RL? Are you marriage problems related to your grief or a separate issue, do you think? If you want to keep posting, please do. I will listen 
Juney, so sad . Was Helen your younger sister, were you close? I can completely understand your missing her, it is like losing a part of ourselves. Things are so raw for you right now, and in such tragic circumstances, I can only imagine your sadness. If you want to tell us about Helen, please do. Sending you strength for the days ahead, one at a time.
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