Wife is terminally ill with a few weeks left

[TheConstantGardener]

Hi all, first post here so please be kind! :)

To cut a long and hard story short, after 3 years battling with breast cancer my wife has stopped treatment and has been told she has 'a few weeks left'. I am 36 and she is 40 and our 2 sons are aged 3 and 5. We're using the remaining time to sort out practicalities (hard work) and spend some quality time as a family and have a few days out. I have been given time away from work for the time being.

My reason for posting is to get any advice/support from anyone who has been through something similar. We have a good family/friend support network with access to counseling, which has helped somewhat. However, I'd still like any advice on support for my sons - have checked out 'Winston's wish' which only works with kids 6+ and have been advised the 'Child bereavement trust' is not brilliant - so if anyone has any other tips I'd appreciate them. Obviously helping the boys with this is a source of huge anxiety for us.

Also, anyone with knowledge of possible widower benefits would also be useful, unfortunately these practicalities need to be discussed, however hard it is.

Thanks all and please message if you get a moment.

x

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

So sorry to hear she has died. X

All round the country people will be thinking about you and your loss with sympathy and love.

I am so very sorry.

So terribly sorry. :(

Feel honoured that you shared this with us all. X

Thinking of you and your boys and wishing you all much strength for the days ahead x

(((((TheConstantGardener)))))

Thinking of you all x

Thinking of you and your boys X

I just wanted to express my condolences for you and your family and just try to remember no one can take away the special memories you have of your wife and i hope you and your boys find some kind of comfort in them

you and your family will be in my prayers take care x

An unimaginable loss: am praying for you, your sons and your family as you go through this

So sorry for your loss, and wishing you much strength at this difficult time.

Please do let MN know if we can help in any way. Perhaps this leaflet about bereavement and young children may be of some small use to you, in time.

I'm so sorry.

I know it sounds banal, but if there is anything that we can do to help, there are plenty of us here on MN who will do anything to help you. I know you don't know us, but perhaps that makes it easier to ask us.

Whatever you do, try not to take up with someone else in the year after her death. Give it a rest.

So very sorry for your loss.

Thinking of you and your boys xx

Another who has just found this thread. ConstantGardener, I wish you and your beautiful children strength in the coming weeks, months and years.

Remember the good times.

So very sad and sorry for you all . Know that there are many many people thinking of you and willing you strength and peace.

Thinking of you and your boys and wishing you lots of strength x

I'm so, so sorry.

Am very :( for you all and hope that you get a lot of help, both now and when the time comes.

I apologise for not reading the whole thread, so this might have already been said, but it would probably be a good idea to try and set up some kind of support network for afterwards - people who are prepared to come and do the mundane stuff that you won't want to, or who can offer food for when you really just want to hide under the bed. People can be a bit funny sometimes and back away from you, often because they just don't know what to do or say - so if you can offer them practical ways in which they could help, before the time, it might be a good plan.

CG

Just read thru and shocked to see that things have progressed so quickly to this day,her last .

My only advice...Just say yes to every offer of help ...even if you are not sure what it is you want them to do . .....

The kids........ Have you phoned Winstons for advice ? they can send you out a whole load of stuff including reading lists ......of books aimed a kids , and a workbook ....stuff thats useful even for the very young . And can just talk it thru over the phone .

You must be a brilliant Dad ...to have the strenght to come on here and ask for help .

Try to focus now on keeping up your own physical strenght ...... simple things ...such as trying to keep up with eating a little etc .

We will ALL be thinking of you over the coming days

Oh CG I am so sorry not to have read through more carefully now!
So :( for your loss and I hope that you do get the help and support you need now.

So very sorry. xx

I have just read the thread and feel so so sad for your loss. You come across as a lovely, strong guy, and your sons are lucky to have you at this time, and forever

So, so sorry to hear your wife's battle is over. It's not fair.

Look after your boys and don't forget to take care of yourself too.

CG I am so sad to hear that your wonderful wife is gone.

I have not been through this horrible experience myself but I used to know the woman who started Merry Widow and she is great, I hear the site is good and there is a discussion board as well. There are men and women on there despite the name. I know her girls were really small when their dad died so she knows what you're going through.

So many of us on here - as someone else said, across the country - and probably across the world - thinking of you and your family tonight.

Your boys are going to be fine. They've got a very special dad, plus the legacy of having known their wonderful mum during their formative years.