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Original poster

Where are my fucking hell shoes, and other delightful phrases from my 3 year old, HEEELP!!

300 replies

gaelicsheep · 02/02/2010 23:41

What have I done? I have been known to swear out loud, in front of him, on occasion but FGS my 3 year old has a mouth like a sewer all of a sudden. I've done all the advising, telling people to ignore, don't rise to it etc. etc. But what if he blurts this out in Tesco, or god forbid at nursery?!

I have to get to bed so I'll leave you lovely ladies to ponder this one and will bump tomorrow if necessary. But someone please reply and tell me he'll forget these words if I ignore him. Please!

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TheElephant · 04/02/2010 08:41

i think the anti swearing folk were just saying " you dont need to swear"
NOT being witch finders, smug or partornising

i think( begs to differ) they were just ahem

disagreeing

MollyRoger · 04/02/2010 08:46

you all need to learn some of these instead...

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 04/02/2010 09:09

kitkatqueen
Which comment did you find so offensive? I don't do pages so can't work it out.

I completely agree with you on one point, it is obviously inevitable that children will eventually learn said words. I do not need to 'get over it', as I mentioned already, my 9yo has displayed a wide range of knowledge wrt offensive phrases. She knows the words, but does not use them because she has learnt by example that we do not do that in our home.

And to be frank, it was not childrens use of the words that irked me, more the level of amusement it caused. I just don't think it's funny. I would be mortified if my baby's first word was shit. I'm sorry if that offends you but this is a debate, I am within my rights to express,shock horror, a difference of opinion.

TheElephant · 04/02/2010 09:10

im with cracky
my kids cna swear
we just DONT
and my parents DONT
i haev nevr ever heard them swear
dad is 75

GaGaOohLaLa · 04/02/2010 09:16

Oddly enough, I don't even swear when confronted by bad drivers. I have evidently had a swearing bypass.

tethersend · 04/02/2010 09:34

Can I ask if swearing in a foreign language is 'wrong'?

Is the word 'fuck' still a 'bad word' if it's said to German children for instance?

Can we not just teach children that using these words in different settings has different consequences? At school, it will get you a detention. In public speaking, people will judge you. Your mum may clip you round the ear if you use it at home. At the bus stop in fromt of small children, you will feel the wrath of their parents, and so on.

I think it is slightly odd to attribute 'good' or 'evil' to the words themselves; they are merely signifiers, and no more than a group of random sounds. It is what is signified by those sounds which seems to offend some and not others.

I find the idea of 'bad words' fucking hilarious if I'm honest.

Adair · 04/02/2010 09:43

general swearing (for fucks sake, shit i dropped something etc) = fine in my book. and mildly amusing in small children

swearing AT someone (fucking bitch etc) = not on and tbh I find quite shocking in small children

I swear liberally. The first kind. Dd has rarely said anything. Don't react massively, just say oh that;s a mummy and daddy word, you mustn't say it.

We're both teachers so are totally able to not swear at work. Dh sounds like he has tourettes though at home. Guess we don't see it as that important really. Agree it's about teaching context.

dd doesn't really like us swearing though. And have a feeling ds show-me-once-and-I'll-do-it might copy more. So have a feeling, will have to stop.

GrumpyWhenWoken · 04/02/2010 09:48

My son has learnt all of his swear words from either his father or from other children at school. In fact, he went to a holiday club last year and came home very excited to tell me he had learnt a new swear word. I didn't really want to hear it, but he was soooooo excited and blurted it out

'cunt'

and I think the look on my face said it all.
He was delighted!

So yes he knows that he has learnt the worst swear word, but he also knows that he can go and live somewhere else if he wants to say it

Igo2work4Arest · 04/02/2010 10:05

Tortiose you must be having a laugh. A heartfelt "cunting mother fucker" is fine to use in a conversation either on the internet or in person. My God I think I can say hand on heart I have never in the whole of my life heard that or seen it written in a conversation. DISGRACEFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll stick with my exclamation marks thanks.

BettyBizzghetti · 04/02/2010 10:12

If people with tourettes never heard swear words, what would they say instead?

Personally, I wouldn't find 'for fuck's sake' funny if a small child said it. I certainly wouldn't be inviting them to our house for tea.

Adair · 04/02/2010 10:45

oh come on! when dd said fuck sake aged about 2.5, I went and admonished her. She hasn't done it again.

'wouldn't be inviting them to our house for tea' it's just a word. You say, oh I don't like that word in my house, just like if the do anything naughty (newsflash: kids misbehave sometimes). And that's it.

Re tourettes: I am guessing they would say things that were considered offensive. It's all relative. Have always liked how on Eastenders they obv can't swear but you still get the sentiment.

And agree with the earlier poster who said it is quite possible to be vile without actually swearing.

Vivia · 04/02/2010 11:04

My nieces were in the car with their dad going to pick up their mum from work. He never swears and is unbelievably calm and polite. But another driver cut in front of him dangerously and the shock made my BIL yelp 'Fucking hell! What an idiot!' Then he felt really bad because the children (aged 8 and 4) had heard him. He reassured them not to be scared of the near-miss and apologized for 'bad words'.

Of course, they rushed into their mummy's workplace with the news:

'Mummy mummy! Daddy said a bad word!' said the 8yr old. 'The H word! And he said Idiot!'

While SIL took a moment to figure out the 'H' word, the 4yr old shouted in front of workmates:

'You are such a baby! Hell's not a swear and idiot's not a swear. He said fucking. That's a brilliant swear!'

Cue parents

navyeyelasH · 04/02/2010 11:05

The best way to stop a child from swearing (besides not swearing around them) is to provide them with an even better swear word.

For eg my parents asked me to tell me sister that slugs was the worst swear word ever when she went through a sweary phase; she dropped the fuck and used slugs! Not ideal but better if you're only worried about public situation.

I work wit children and I have sworn infront of them once (and told the parents). I was driving and said "shit" no-one seemed to notice I think because as soon as it came out I sang a song to distract them!

I once nearly knocked myself out by banging my head on the boot of the car and I really needed to swear but with 3 children in the car I couldn't! Instead, from nowhere 'FALMING FLAMINGOS' fell out of my mouth and the children thought it was hillarious

AuntieMaggie · 04/02/2010 11:19

My nieces and nephews have come out with allsorts and most not from hearing it at home (none of us say 'oh for crying out loud' or 'fuck it' or 'bollocks') but I'm sorry it is funny when they manage to use it age 3 in context when something goes wrong!

sheepgomeep · 04/02/2010 11:36

lol lol reminds me of dd last week aged 2,she was trying to put some chocolate biscuits back in the packet and not succeeding and suddenly I hear oh for fucks sake coming out of her mouth

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 04/02/2010 11:47

Igotowork, if we're talking about language violations, and we are, why can't I get offended at your blatant misuse of punctuation? Surely you've been taught about correct punctuation in correct company? You are wilfully misusing the English language to make your point. You said so.

Well, if I tell you that I really fucking dislike people who ignore basic grammar, why is that worse? I'm just employing language to make my point. Isn't that what you're defending?

(!!!!!!!!!)

missorinoco · 04/02/2010 12:53

So attempted to stop swearing again yesterday after reading this and thinking, yes, must stop swearing.

DS then helpfully came out with a sighed "Oh my God" whilst painting this morning. (The sort that you know has been copied from you, he had the intonation down to a pat.)

So I replaced it with my usual "Oh my word", which he's quite good at saying.

And the reply is "Oh my word God."

Ho hum.

Off to try saying slug.

Veritythebrave · 04/02/2010 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tethersend · 04/02/2010 13:08

"If people with tourettes never heard swear words, what would they say instead?"

Hmm, that's a pretty naive view on Tourette's syndrome there, Betty. The impulse is to say the unsayable, be that swearing or otherwise.

French speaking Tourette's sufferers do not use English swearwords. There is nothing intrinsically offensive about the swear word itself, only its context.

LadyGooGoo · 04/02/2010 13:08

My DH still swears infront of the DC and as a consequence we had a few months of "For Fuck's Sake!" from my ds1 3.

I thought I had cunningly found a solution to the swearing issue by using "Oh, for goodness sake!", however didn't realise I had a habit of shortening it until my little darling shouted "Oh, ff-uh" at playgroup which sounds remarkably like Oh, fuck.

Has found his own solution as of this morning though. Now says "Oh, bumbus" instead of "rude" words

(think it's just an excuse to say bum)
Actually might start using it myself!

Oh, BUMBUS!!!

Mmmm...yeah - it works

morecoffee · 04/02/2010 13:28

vivia that has just made my day, that really is actually, properly funny!
I have recently realised that the extent to which I swear in front of my kids is excessive, not occasional, and that sometimes they do not like it, other times they find it funny & immediately repeat it. I don't think that is funny. I think the occasional small child saying something rude without realising its potency can be pretty amusing, but I am definitely the wrong side of the "how much do you swear in front of your children" measure. I would be embarrassed if they started swearing at home or in public & this thread has helped me resolve to really work at curbing the cursing!
As for what to do when they do start swearing, I think it's been well covered - ignore, or explain that it isn't appropriate (yes, hypocrite!). My mil taught my kids EdwardWoodward as a bad word. They didn't buy it. I'm quite happy to hear them repeat bumbum etc over & over, they soon tire of it, but if they started repeating some of the expletives I have been using around them I would be mortified. Time to stop. I have really enjoyed reading this thread!

upandrunning · 04/02/2010 13:33

Verity hijack I have been thinking of your other threads -- all well?

franatash · 04/02/2010 13:53

I don't quite understand why anyone needs to swear all the time using swear words as adjectives. These swearers sound rather boring characters to me with limited vocabulary. Nothing against an expletive in a time of stress but as an adjective no.

Veritythebrave · 04/02/2010 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HairyToe · 04/02/2010 14:38

Its taken a while to reads this but loving some of the comments here. Especially acebaby "sounds like we're living in a bad fifties sitcom". I'm not much of a swearer as a rule but will definitley be introducing 'blinking' back into my vocabulary and what about 'bally' as in 'the whole bally lot of them'.