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Original poster

Where are my fucking hell shoes, and other delightful phrases from my 3 year old, HEEELP!!

300 replies

gaelicsheep · 02/02/2010 23:41

What have I done? I have been known to swear out loud, in front of him, on occasion but FGS my 3 year old has a mouth like a sewer all of a sudden. I've done all the advising, telling people to ignore, don't rise to it etc. etc. But what if he blurts this out in Tesco, or god forbid at nursery?!

I have to get to bed so I'll leave you lovely ladies to ponder this one and will bump tomorrow if necessary. But someone please reply and tell me he'll forget these words if I ignore him. Please!

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TheElephant · 04/02/2010 14:39

we blink and flip with the best of them as a family

MollyRoger · 04/02/2010 18:21

Custard!

pointydog · 04/02/2010 20:01

I swear quite a bit. dh and I somtimes call people - and each other - cunts for amusement. I have talked about swear words with the dds and I know the older one at least will swear in certain situations. And all that is fine.

I just can't stand hearing a little kid swear and, even worse, seeing an adult find this funny.

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 04/02/2010 21:21

Oh but pointydog, the thing with my DS is that he is sooo well behaved normally, and manages to say these things with the most angelic look on his face. I'm sorry, but I can't help but be slightly amused at the same time as being genuinely horrified, however bad that may be.

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SpringHeeledJack · 04/02/2010 22:21

roffle at "cunts"

I once got a thank you card from a couple of friends who had stayed with us for the weekend. she wrote all the usual, and was very sweet

he just wrote "ps you are cunts" at the bottom

pointydog · 04/02/2010 22:44

lol.

When dd2 was var small (4 or 5) we stayed at my sister's flat for a couple of nights and dd2 wrote a thank you note afterwards.

A very short note which ended with 'Fack you'.

How we laughed. (We laughed because it really said Thank you, not because she was a sweary-mouthed 4 yr old)

PrincessBoo · 04/02/2010 22:57

Have any of you seen or read 'The Vagina Monologues'? I've performed 'reclaiming cunt' as part of a VDay performance and got 200 people in a theatre to chant it with me. I now consider the word 'cunt' to be a compliment - I've sooooo reclaimed it :P

Kid's swearing threads are a massive hot potato on mumsnet aren't they?

I warned nursery that DS might come out with a few choice words that he's learnt from me (I forget myself when I'm driving on occasion and I make no apology for this). So far he hasn't anyway, but they said it was no big deal, it does happen on occasion and they ignore it if they can.

I dropped something a couple of months back and said 'bollocks' and DS came out with it straight away. I managed to get him to say 'bollits' instead - I know, I know, it's terrible but I was thinking on my feet. Thankfully we haven't heard that one for a while.

I don't think it's a big deal - when he's old enough to understand we'll have the chat about grown up words etc - but I certainly wouldn't be using time outs and naughty steps for him saying words that he's learnt from me.

That said, we won't be using time outs and naughty steps anyway. But that's a different thread... ;)

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 04/02/2010 23:00

I warned the nursery too PrincessBoo and I asked them to tell me if they heard anything. They didn't seem shocked or surprised, and they haven't said any more so I presume (along with the compliments about what a nice boy he is) that he hasn't disgraced himself (or me).

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PrincessBoo · 04/02/2010 23:24

Yay!

As for Tesco - try to develop the 'I don't give a toss what other people think of me' attitude that I have.

They're random strangers doing their shopping - and I bet - sadly - the people who work there more often see the kind of parents who swear at, not accidently in front of, their DCs.

Much more shocking than 'Where are my fucking hell shoes?', which I would have struggled to contain my laughter at, incidentally!

ImWearingReallyJudgyPants · 05/02/2010 09:12

SpringHeeledJack: was the male friend of yours suffering from some form of arrested development? At five, DS wrote 'you are a poo-poo head' on a card to one of my friends. This kind of thing might be expected from a five-year-old - but in an adult?!

PrincessBoo, we were not going to use time outs or naughty steps either. We still don't for one of the DCs, whose personality needs handling differently. But if I were you, I would reserve comment until you have been there.

The 'I don't give a toss what other people think of me' attitude has its place - but I would like my children to grow up believing that it does matter what other people think of you. I think it matters a huge amount, and is one way in which children learn that some behaviours are socially unacceptable.

As for people swearing in front of children: you reap what you sow.

PrincessBoo · 05/02/2010 21:59

sigh.

Just because I don't give a toss what random folks in Tesco's would think if my 2 year old swears whilst in the trolley doesn't mean that I don't care about 'socially acceptable behaviour' generally. Supermarkets can be full of judgy tutting strangers who love nothing better than to raise eyebrows at a toddler's behaviour. I'd handle things completely differently if he were older and was more aware of what the words mean.

As for naughty steps and time outs I refuse to be drawn - I shouldn't have mentioned it. As I said, that's another thread.

Kitkatqueen · 05/02/2010 22:24

crack
Actually as it goes I think you do know which post I am refering to however your posting style is quite aggressive so I can understand why it would be hard to tell which post had offended someone.

Just to clarify for you!

My post!

My dd1's 1st word was Prada, - I was so proud ! Her second word was shit

dd2 the other day, playing on the nintendo " oh bugger I missed the blooming thing"

Hey, she's using the words in excellent context for her age! Stress less, ignore it and if that doesn't work use toy removal / whatever you usually do for punishment, it will soon lose its appeal.
---------
Your post:

If it's not a problem, Gaelic, don't post about it. Continue on your merry fucking way.

Or is it that what you really wanted was responses along the lines of 'oh how funny! Don't worry my dcs first word was cunt haha'.
----------
It is obviously a direct response to my post, As you can see I was embarassed and shit was not my daughters 1st word. This is not aibu...

The op was asking for support, not a debate. Considering that we are in agreement that this is something that all children are going to do at some point I do not see the point of being nasty to a parent when it does, commiserate and help them get past it. Believe me there are things that can happen in life that put things like this into the perspective of the minutae they really are.

BTW when someone says "i'm sorry but" they are not.

Kitkatqueen · 05/02/2010 22:25

Blue Thankyou.

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 05/02/2010 22:37

Kitkatqueen - yes, I was kind of asking for support. But I was also pretty curious as to how many perfect judgy pant-types would crawl out of the woodwork to offer their words of wisdom. My OP was deliberately fairly light-hearted and I'm always glad to kick off a not-so intelligent debate.

Plus it made discussions of the day! YAY! (although it's not exactly the subject I would have chosen to advertise my parenting skills to the wider MN community )

OP posts:
Original poster
gaelicsheep · 05/02/2010 22:41

But thanks for your support Kitkatqueen - it is nice to encounter normal, sane people on this site occasionally.

Incidentally, tonight DS has been perfectly happy to swap "you are a fucking hell" (whatever that means) for "you are a silly billy", which seems to amuse him just as much. Yes he's calling me a silly billy, but I think I can live with that.

We are also instituting a swear box in the house, any proceeds to be used to treat DS occasionally. Although it will, of course, always be empty...

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SpringHeeledJack · 05/02/2010 22:50

I don't think that children suffer too much in having "human" parents, gaelicsheep and kitkat- but I have to say am always a bit about those who rush to judge other people's parenting

wahwah · 05/02/2010 23:11

I was marvelling at thIs thread yesterday and the numbers of people who had never sworn in front of their toddlers in extremis. I was also quite pleased that ds had t picked up on my foulness. That was yesterday. Today he told dh ' I don't want to go to fucking nursery' .

So it's happened and I'm sure will hapen again. He'll learn swearing is not for children and I'll try harder not to let him hear me. It's not the end of the world.

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 05/02/2010 23:17

ROFL wahwah. Welcome to the fold!

Oh yes there is definitely a huge divide on this thread. Those who are being straight and those who aren't. I'd like to bet that 90% of people who claim to have never, ever sworn in front of their chidren in the heat of the moment are exercising selective memory loss. Perhaps their chidren just aren't as quick at picking things up as ours are, eh?

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SpringHeeledJack · 05/02/2010 23:23

yes, our sweary kids are evidently gifted and talented

wahwah · 05/02/2010 23:27

Oh I hadn't thought about it like that, clearly ds is a linguistic genius! He must have been mulling the use of 'fucking' over for a bit until he used it perfectly. Well done, ds and all the other 'cunting toddlers'.

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 05/02/2010 23:27

Where has my "" "" "l" gone

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 05/02/2010 23:34

Just because parents don't swear doesn't mean they are less human than those that do.
I find a three year old swearing distasteful so I don't swear in front of them-it's not difficult as I don't swear much anyway.
Don't understand the hilarity surrounding toddler's swearing

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 05/02/2010 23:40

So mrsruffalo, you can honestly say - hand on heart - that you have never ever let a swear word escape your lips within your children's earshot? If that's true, then respect to you. (Or perhaps you have a very big house...)

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 05/02/2010 23:42

clemette would you not say that was a stupid/nasty thing to do then to your child?

SpringHeeledJack · 05/02/2010 23:48

where's clemette, nappyaddict?

I tried to go upthread but it got a bit far and my eyes started hurting