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Original poster

Where are my fucking hell shoes, and other delightful phrases from my 3 year old, HEEELP!!

300 replies

gaelicsheep · 02/02/2010 23:41

What have I done? I have been known to swear out loud, in front of him, on occasion but FGS my 3 year old has a mouth like a sewer all of a sudden. I've done all the advising, telling people to ignore, don't rise to it etc. etc. But what if he blurts this out in Tesco, or god forbid at nursery?!

I have to get to bed so I'll leave you lovely ladies to ponder this one and will bump tomorrow if necessary. But someone please reply and tell me he'll forget these words if I ignore him. Please!

OP posts:
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shushpenfold · 03/02/2010 10:54

FGS - yes, Goblinchild put it simply, but quite frankly, from your post, I think she needed to!

You swear, he swears. Yes indeed 'no shit sherlock!' NO pondering required on that one.

Pollyanna · 03/02/2010 11:06

gaelicsheep, although we try very hard not swear at home, unfortunately we don't always manage , however, my dcs all know now that swear words are bad, and don't swear. If dd2 does it to attract attention, I just tell her that we don't swear and then I ignore her. She is now older than your ds though, so it may take you a little while to feel safe from public swearing . My dcs still think that poo and stupid are awful things to say.

Unfortunately it is not possible to shield them anyway - we hear swearing in town and on the bus most days.

MarineIguana · 03/02/2010 11:08

One friend told me how she thought her 8-year-old DS was fantastically nicely brought-up and clean-mouthed - until she overheard him swearing like a trooper with his mates. He saw she had heard and was horrendously embarrassed and said "MUM! You weren't supposed to hear that!"

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 11:19

How lovely that you all find such amusement in your children's use of the word fuck. Personally I find it fairly hideous.

It's not hard to refrain from swearing in front of the dcs, dh has a foul mouth and manages pretty well.

You may all jump on Goblinchild pointing out the obvious, but clearly the obvious solution has proved too difficult for you.
This thread makes my skin crawl.

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 11:19

Oh dear shushpenfold - I will consider my wrist well and truly slapped by a much better person than I.

Twasn't me that said "no sh*t" btw.

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 03/02/2010 11:22

never do a Sweary Kid thread on mn, gaelic- all the Judge Nutmegs come out of the woodwork to tell you off and let you know how Good At It they all are. And everyone else slooooowly meeeeelts awaaaaay

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 11:25

Have none of you perfect mothers ever heard of Pandora's Box? Or shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted?

Or perhaps you too are 4 months pregnant, living in a house with no central heating, in the middle of a baltic Highlands winter, were snowed in for two weeks with hardly any food in the house, no safe water to drink, etc. etc., and yet dealing with it with the ultimate in stoicism and never letting so much as "oh dear" escape your lips?

Get over yourselves.

OP posts:
shushpenfold · 03/02/2010 11:27

I know you didn't gaelic - I was being facecious. What I mean is that you're asking for advice

'I'll leave you lovely ladies to ponder that one'

and then when the advice arrives that you don't agree with, instead of being even vaguely appreciative or even polite, you jump down Goblin's throat, hotly followed by all the others who don't seem to mind if their children swear like navvies, or think it's amusing. If you don't want advice, don;t ask for it.

coldtits · 03/02/2010 11:27

PMSL

That's hilarious.

my 3.10 year old, then 2, stored a phrase in his head until he got to playschool.

My door sticks in damp weater, and we were running late, so I booted it and muttered "Stupid fucking door!".

Off we went. Down to the school, all around town - not a word from ds2. We got to playschool - not a word from ds2. the teacher opened the door - "STUPID FUCKING DOOR! STUPID FUCKING DOOR!"

upandrunning · 03/02/2010 11:27

"where are my fucking hell shoes" is very funny

I disapprove etc etc, honestly, dreadful, blah blah

but "where are my fucking hell shoes" is dead dead funny

Miggsie · 03/02/2010 11:30

DD tells me off when I swear.

However, kids do copy what they hear, hence, when DD was at nursery (age 3) and two kids were fighting (verbally) we were all most appalled to hear another 3 year old turn to the two who were fighting and say "if you two buggers don't stop I'll bang your bloody heads together"

coldtits · 03/02/2010 11:31

8 YEARS OLD SWEARING = not funny really >

3 YEAR OLDS SWEARING = hilarious

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 11:36

If it's not a problem, Gaelic, don't post about it. Continue on your merry fucking way.

Or is it that what you really wanted was responses along the lines of 'oh how funny! Don't worry my dcs first word was cunt haha'.

ErikaMaye · 03/02/2010 11:37

When I was about three, my mum had a car cut in front of her whilst driving. I promptly sat up very straight, and started banging on the window shouting "Wanker! WANKER!". She still gives my Dad daggers about it

MarineIguana · 03/02/2010 11:38

I think the point is the OP knows that if you swear on front of your toddler they'll copy you. No shit sherlock indeed. The point is, not all of us have the iron will never to let one slip out, so it's a valid question what to do next, how best to get them not to swear all the time, and so some of us replied with our strategies.

And anyway if you think your 3yo will never hear someone saying "fucking arse buggery bollocks!" or similar just because you yourself and your saintly family are pure as the driven snow, then wake up. They'll hear it all over, unless you keep them locked up in a padded room. You might be out with them one day and walk past me for example when I can't find my phone in my bag. Or they might hear it from other, less fortunate children at nursery. Or from the telly. Or from one of your friends, or a pissed rellie at christmas. Yes it's true!

And yes it is funny as well, in moderation.

Coldtits I didn't think the 8yo swearing was that amusing, what was funny was that he felt he needed to protect his mum.

Lizzylou · 03/02/2010 11:40

I try so very hard not to swear in front of my DS's, so far so good, which amazes me frankly.

I do agree with you about the word "stupid" and that is a banned word in our house. It has been known that the boys have told me off for calling other drivers stupid on the school run , but it could be worse.

I do agree though that you were harsh on Goblin, you did ask for advice! She was non-hysterically spelling it out for you, no need to mock her.

Sorry to hear you've had a bad few weeks, hope you feel better soon.

Oh, If I am really about to boil over and have a rant, I go and lock myself in the loo and say "Buggering bollocking bastarding fuck" or somesuch a few times out of earshot. Gets it out of your system

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 11:42

By woodyandbuzz Wed 03-Feb-10 10:45:26
Don't worry if he swears at nursery. They will have seen it all before - you will be quite unlucky if the staff have attitudes like Goblinchild though! (It's unlikely).

Oh yes, you would be terribly unlucky if your child's nursery staff had that attitude, wouldn't you? No swearing in front of kids?It's a fucking scandal! How else will they ever learn to say fuck?

coldtits · 03/02/2010 11:45

MCTH - why do you have such a huge issue about swearing? I would rather my children could produce a veritable rainbow of blue than 5% of the spiteful non swearing bile that pours out of a naice little girl I know.

SpringHeeledJack · 03/02/2010 11:51

kwym, coldtits

I would rather mine were kindhearted funny happy kids rather than experts at observing Social Convention and Not Showing Me Up

It is a non-issue, imo

Alicetheinvisible · 03/02/2010 11:52

DD overheard Dh saying "Buger, bugger, bugger" when our computer/tv system crashed the other day (restrained i thought) and has since said Bugger a few times. I try to completely ignore and hope she forgets all about it. She is 2 btw.

When i was about 2 or 3 i called my dad's girlfriend a fat c*nt (all i can say is i must have heard the phrase somewhere) They didn't stay together very long.....

MarineIguana · 03/02/2010 11:58

"Oh yes, you would be terribly unlucky if your child's nursery staff had that attitude, wouldn't you? No swearing in front of kids?It's a fucking scandal! How else will they ever learn to say fuck?"

MTCH I know you think you're being witheringly sarcastic but actually, I do want my DC to learn to swear - yes really. OK not at 3, because it shocks and upsets people and makes them disapprove - but in general, it's better to know about as many words as possible and understand their power and when it is and isn't OK to use them, than to be limited and have certain words banned outright or never heard. Even you paragons of perfect purity have heard all these words and manage not to use them at certain times - credit your DC with the same ability as they grow up.

And swearing is excellent if done right - it's fun and funny and lets off steam. Some of the funniest posts on MN are because of the top quality/brilliantly timed swearing in them.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 12:04

'I would rather mine were kindhearted funny happy kids rather than experts at observing Social Convention and Not Showing Me Up'

The two are hardly mutually exclusive are they? It is (shock horror) perfectly possible to have happy children that don't swear.

Actually, my issue is not really with children that swear but the adults who do it in front of them.
Dd is 9, she knows a whole range of delightful curses. She hasn't ever heard them at home though. That's the difference, imo.

Coldtits I have an issue with parents swearing in front of their children because my mum did it, a lot, when I was small. It made me feel worried and insecure, like she wasn't in control of the situation. And as I got older and began to grasp the social etiquette of swearing, it made me wonder why she couldn't just not do it in front of me. No other parents I knew did.

Lizzylou · 03/02/2010 12:05

I love swearing and have a mouth like a navvy when not with my DC BUT I hate hearing children swear, I do, sorry
I remember cooing over an angelic looking little lad who was about 3/4yrs years ago and he turned round and said
"Fuck off you fat bitch" which was awful, gawd I was 2 sizes smaller then as well. It just sounds so wrong.
I understand what you mean about understanding the power of words and their meanings but I would hope that I have some years to go before I have to touch upon the Fucks, shits and Cunts with my 6yr old DS1.

People lose their cool and swear, it happens, DC pick up those words, doesn't mean you are a bad parent but it also doesn't mean a 3yr old swearing is right or funny imo.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 12:07

Marine, my dd does indeed have the ability to know the words and not use them. I didn't really need to say fuck in front of her for that to happen. She has learnt by example. She knows adults sometimes swear, but also that it is unacceptable for a child to do so.

SoupDragon · 03/02/2010 12:08

Is it lonely up there on your Pedestal of Perfection, MoreCrackThanHarlem?

Swear words are just words and when they are just being parroted by children it's a non-issue. It's not like the children talked about here are peppering every sentence with a fuck or a wanker is it? That would be appalling. They soon learn that they are not appropriate/are Grown Up Words and shouldn't be used in general conversation.