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Original poster

Where are my fucking hell shoes, and other delightful phrases from my 3 year old, HEEELP!!

300 replies

gaelicsheep · 02/02/2010 23:41

What have I done? I have been known to swear out loud, in front of him, on occasion but FGS my 3 year old has a mouth like a sewer all of a sudden. I've done all the advising, telling people to ignore, don't rise to it etc. etc. But what if he blurts this out in Tesco, or god forbid at nursery?!

I have to get to bed so I'll leave you lovely ladies to ponder this one and will bump tomorrow if necessary. But someone please reply and tell me he'll forget these words if I ignore him. Please!

OP posts:
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Goblinchild · 03/02/2010 20:49

And along comes a flash of deja vu
If I swore at work in front of children or parents I'd be in the shit. And as it's difficult to swap from foul to fair and back, it's just easier if I don't swear at all.
I was, however, raised a Forces child and know many fascinating and detailed swear words in several languages, having heard them from an early age from a lot of different adults.
That's barracks life, not a Boden-wearing yummy mummy shopping in sight.

nickytwotimes · 03/02/2010 20:50

inde, the difference is I am admitting fallibility.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 20:59

I do understand your admission of fallibility, nicky, but that does not mean that others who have controlled their language successfully are 'smug', surely?

Or should we falsely admit to transgressions to make you feel better?

SpringHeeledJack · 03/02/2010 21:17

yes, ladies, control yourselves, you slatterns!!

for some reason this pops unbidden to my mind

..I hope it pops out again

tethersend · 03/02/2010 21:20

Sorry, pointydog was being facetious

I am a sweary teacher- I don't swear in the classroom for fear of losing my job, not out of an inherent sense of morality. Once 3.30 hits, I regularly turn the air blue.

I once taught a boy with severe ASD (he was 11 at the time)- he had no spontaneous language whatsoever, only echolalia. We were playing football in the playground when the TA kicked the ball to him (he ignored it completely) and said "get the ball, xxx". He thought for a minute, then very calmly looked at the TA and said "Just fuck off". It was the only spontaneous and contextually appropriate thing I ever heard him say.

Igo2work4Arest · 03/02/2010 21:21

Eeek what on earth!!!!! I do use bad language without a doubt. I try to keep it to a minimum infront of all children including my own, most adults and definatley infront of my parents. However I have always brought my children up with this tac tic: It is an adults word to be used by adults. Like you would not let a child boil a kettle or use matches etc etc. It has work for my oldest who is now 7 I hope it will work for all of them. I would be absolutely disgusted if a teacher were to say it. I would also be a little disappointed if the nursery were to tell me that DC had said it but I wouldn't be gutted.
If i was told that olest child had said it at school I would be because they know better and it is an adult word. I have never ever said that a swear word is a BAD word just that it is an adult one!!!!!

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 21:22

OK, I've read all the mixed responses to my OP. I don't get why this is so difficult to understand. I do not make a habit of swearing in front of my child, despite what some of you might like to think. A horribly stressful few weeks led to that happening a few times - quite clearly that makes me a terrible parent in many people's eyes. Once this has been done it can't be undone (horse, stable - you see?) so posting and telling me off for swearing in front of my child isn't particularly helpful, but I apologise for not making that point more graciously. This doesn't mean I don't think it's a problem - and I'm not quite sure how anyone got that impression - hence I made a fairly light hearted post to ask for advice from sensible posters. Quite simple really.

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 03/02/2010 21:22

that was for MoreCrack

pointydog · 03/02/2010 21:41

There aren't many sensible posters around here. That's the problem.

Goblinchild · 03/02/2010 21:50

Or the charm. I doubt I'd bother with mumsnet if it were full of sensible posters, there's not much entertainment in that.

SpringHeeledJack · 03/02/2010 21:51

...because most of the decent, right thinking, sensible folk get put off by the pitchfork-toting self-appointed Witch Finder Generals, and go and do something more interesting instead

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 21:54

Well I agree in general, except when I want non-judgey advice on stopping my toddler from swearing!!

Hello Goblinchild - I really am sorry for biting your head off. No hard feelings I hope?

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 03/02/2010 21:56

Oh, I didn't mean you, Goblinchild

2old4thislark · 03/02/2010 21:58

tethersend "it's never to early to teach children that swear words are naughty words that we shouldn't really say!" Not sure if you missed the pint or were taking the piss!

In response to Op's wondering if she should ignore it, not rise to it etc......I think if they are old enough to behave in a way you don't like that they are old enough to be told it's wrong!

I watch parents letting toddlers get away with all sorts of behvaiour and wonder when they are going to deem the children old enough to be told!

I did slip up and let the odd expletive out when my kids were little. BUT I have worked with children for 15 years and have never sworn once - bit my lip on a few occasions!

It's simple - if I swore and got heard - no job!

SpringHeeledJack · 03/02/2010 21:58

...but your first post did remind me a bit of the Reeves and Mortimer Trapped In My Flat song, where at the end Vic says "and remember, if you do get trapped in your flat, try not to get trapped in your flat"

Goblinchild · 03/02/2010 21:59

Of course not, and trust me...
When you've been in Tesco's with a yelling autistic teenager in full meltdown then you'll truly feel people are judging your parenting and finding it wanting. And you'd be right.
So how on earth could I be smug and snippy about you?

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/02/2010 21:59
GaGaOohLaLa · 03/02/2010 22:06

If it's a choice between smuggery and a toddler who says f*, I'll go for the smuggery, thanks.

Tethersend, of course they will hear swear words from other people. However, if they have never heard me use them, they will at least have gathered that they are not used at home at all. I'm sure it won't stop them trying, but it's easier to have the moral high ground in this particular respect if they have never heard me use a swear word. (Though I forgot: the moral high ground is not popular place to occupy on MN).

What would you all do if your child came home and said that their teacher had dropped a book on her toe and had said "shit"?

wastingaway · 03/02/2010 22:09

I'd explain that in a split second of pain and surprise, sometimes human adults say words they shouldn't.
Then speak to the teacher about it.

Totally different to a teacher calling a child a 'little shit' which I would consider wholly unacceptable.

wastingaway · 03/02/2010 22:11

I don't think anyone sets out to model sweary behaviour for their children, but there is some grey area between cunting toddlers and smug perfection.

Original poster
gaelicsheep · 03/02/2010 22:17

DH has offered to prostrate himself (by proxy) in front of you all, having kindly admitted that he's the real bad influence in this house as I hardly ever swore when he met me, and never ever used the F word.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 03/02/2010 22:18

What would you say to the teacher?
'Please don't swear in front of the children'?
She didn't mean to do it in the first place, so even if she promised that it wouldn't happen again, how could she be sure?

tethersend · 03/02/2010 22:19

GaGa, I'll refer you to my earlier post- I am a sweary teacher

I don't see anything immoral about swearing- it has consequences, but I'm not sure morality comes into it. I actually wouldn't do anything about a teacher saying 'shit' when she dropped a book on her foot. Not a thing.

In my whole career, I have only ever sworn in front of the students once- I'm an art teacher, and at the end of a year 9 drawing lesson, I asked a few kids to show their drawings. My response to one of the drawings? "That's fucking brilliant!" It just slipped out. Naturally, I apologised profusely.

It was fucking brilliant, though.

tethersend · 03/02/2010 22:20

@ 'cunting toddlers'

BexieID · 03/02/2010 22:29

My favourite saying is "oh for fucks sake" which, even though Tom wasn't talking properly at the time, he hummed it out in the same tone as i'd said it .

More recently I said "fucking hell" when I caught him running out of the bedroom and saw his 4 week old baby sister lying on the floor crying (she had been lying on the bed whilst i'd nipped to the kitchen to get something (we live in a flat so only 10 metres away)). He quite often repeats that too.

Last week my brother was staying (he's 29) and found it hilarious trying to get Tom to say cunt! I was not amused.